Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 41, 13 April 1901, Page 12

Entre Nous

championship tournament of 1871, but it was at the meeting held at Musselburgh, Dunedin, m 1879 that he first went on the staff, and acted as treasurer. In 188b, the management of the Rifle Association was put in the hands of a committee, of which LieutenantColonel Sommerville was appointed chairman, while the treasury and the onerous statistical work were confided to the very capable hands of Lieuten-ant-Colonel Collins. • * » It was always a marvel to visitors to note the ease, rapidity, and remarkable accuracy with which the statistical data ot the shooting were turned out under Lieutenant-Colonel Collins — no fuss, no grumbling, no delays — everything worked like clockwork, and just as soon as the last squad in a match had fired their shots the full prize-list would be posted up. When the Australian marksmen came over to the championship meeting at Oamaru, in 1886, and again to the championship meeting at Dunedm, in 1890, the precision of Lieutenant-Colonel Collins's system, and the celerity with which the prize-lists were posted up immediately a match was finished, were, to them, matters of astonishment and admiration. This last meeting at Wanganui is the first one in twenty-one years from which Lieutenant-Colonel Collins has been absent. No wonder they missed him. • • » The social gathering in the Club Hotel, to which the Auckland Comnany of the Seventh Contingent were treated on the eve of their departure for South Africa, passed off very jollily. It was given by a number of past and present residents of Auckland, and the affair was promoted and managed by Captain Grant and Mr. John McLeod, who had come down from Auckland to see the Contingent away. Captain Grant filled the chair, supported on the right by the Hon. J. McGowan (Minister of Mines) and Mr. W. S. Furby (Inspector, Telegraph Department), and on the left by Cantain Harrowell and Lieutenant Aitken Connell. Fully 90 officers and men were present. • * * The Chairman proposed "The King," and also "The Governor and the Ministry." In responding to the latter toast, the Hon. Mr. McGowan made an excellent speech, during which he said the Seventh would be New Zealand's last contingent for South Africa. He hoped they would catch De Wet. Mr. J. M. Geddis proposed, "The Seventh Contingent," and Surgeon - Captain Dawson, in responding, said a finer body of men than the Seventh he could not wish to be associated with. He had had the opportunity of examining both the Sixth and Seventh Contingents, and for physique he gave the palm to the Seventh. As for their conduct in camp, it had been exemplary. The remaining toasts were : "The Auckland Company," proposed in felicitous terms by Mr. John McLeod, and neatly responded to by Captain Harrowell ;

"The Ladies," proposed by Mr. W. S. Furby, and responded to by Lieutenant Grant; and "The Press," proposed by the chairman, and responded to by Mr. G. H. Dixon. As camp-leave expired at 10.30, the proceedings closed at 9.30 with the singing of "Auld Lang Syne." • • • An unusually large number of people, imbued with curiosity, turned up to an auction at New Plymouth the other day — a crowd as big as usually happens along when the auctioneer advertises a free lunch. The occasion was the disposal of the much anathematised tollgates erected in various parts of the county by a soulless council, as revenue raisers. There was a great deal of chaff and by-play and curried epithets passed around during the sale. The toll-keeper at Omata, who has had a bad time lately, was lifted shoulderhigh, and he kicked until he was let down again. He bought bis privilege at the old price. • • » There were loud groans when the Puniho gate was oflered. This is the obstacle that was stolen by some person or persons unknown one morning and converted into firewood. When the Hinemana toll was "hammered," one man ottered a pound a month to get rid of it; a second went five shillings more if they would throw a councillor in with it; and a third made a further advance if the chairman was pitched in also. Four gates were sold, and two passed in. It was a great sale altogether. Toll gates are never popular anywhere, but the Taranaki Council hopes to abolish them within a couple ot years. * • • It is a local instance of animal fidelity. The dog of a man who died in Wellington the other day took up its place behind the last carriage in the tuneral procession, and walked to Karori. It whined mournfully at the graveside, and, after the last sad rites had been performed, came back in a cab with the family. * ♦ • It happened at a waxworks show, in Palmerston North, the other day. A member of the horny-handed persuasion, who was minus one eye and several teeth, was freely airing his views to a large party of fellow-citizens concerning the various figures on exhibition. He believed himself to be a great authority on physiognomy, and also, being much-travelled, knew all celebrated persons by sight. Placing his hand upon the waxen head of his Most Gracios Majesty, King Edward VII., the knowing citizen exclaimed — "You cannot trust these cold-blooded wretches! See the treacherous look in this here fellow's eyes ! One can see at a glance what a desperate character he is !" Just then a bystander drew his attention to the card, which proclaimed the fact that the figure stood for King Edward. Ihe amateur physiognomist left in a hurry.

There is talk of a big tight m connection with the recently-formed milling trust. The only large nulls in the colony standing out are said to be the Timaru and Belford, and, as they have orders and contracts to keep them going for a lengthy period, they do not tear the result. The trust denies any attempt to establish a menacing monopoly, and avers its sole intention is to minimise the losses which have resulted from bad debts, and to lessen the cost of distribution by acting conjointly. Further, that the saving thus effected will enable them to make sufficient profit without any increase on the rates hitherto existing. Leading Canterbury bakers, seen on the subject, say they don't fear the trust will abuse its position. If it does, they would not hesitate to do what they were nearly driven to do some eighteen months ago, owing to prices being kept up unnecessarily—start a mill on their own account. # # Boers who fire on a white flag die a, long way beneath contempt. What, then, shall be said of their opponents who rifle the bodies of the dead of both sides after a battle. Yet, more than one colonial trooper has proudly exposed his spoils or loot ot battle, boon after the commencement ot the war, a young New Zealander wiotc to nib people that he had collected buttons and badges from the bodies of no loss than fifty-two men of diffeient Bnti&h regiments who had fallen in action. Another diligent fossicker brought homo a birthday book belonging to a daughtei of Geneial Botha. And, more lecently still a o-allant soldier announces that he has amassed a tidy collection of loot, and will sell the lot at his own puce to any seekers after military souvenirs • • * The Gisborne School Committee seems to be insuring against the day of Armageddon. In order to encourage regular attendance, each holder ot a. "never-absent, never-late" ticket foi a week is entitled to a shot at a target out of an air-gun! The committee recklessly authorised the purchase of a dozen air-guns at 2s bd ea«h. By this means it is hoped to commence the training of future contingents at Standard 11. (six years), and to teach the young idea how to shoot as soon as it has left the breast.

There is a highly disgusted bowler up in the Wairarapa just now. It is only recently he has been entrapped into the trundling game, and he liked it so much that, with a view to having a real good time during Easter, he wired to a friend in Wellington, "Send pair bowls, price 255." The friend is better acquainted with poultry than bowls, and so read the message, "Send pair fowls," and quite cheerfully hastened to obey. He thought it rather strange his friend should leave him no margin whatever in the matter of price, but should tie him down to a hard and fast 255. However, he picked out a pair of pedigree fowls that just fitted the price, and sent them on without delay. He is only just recovering from the letter of acknowledgment he received after tho despatch of the poultry. * * * Two of the be&t boon companions in Wellington had a grievous quarrel the other day, and the net result is discoloured optics and coloured spectacles for botli of them. The primal cause of discord was a brown-eyed beauty, with cheeks of rosy tint, and glorious golden hair. She was adored by one of tho gents — a shy, impecunious chap, wlio had not the courage to propose, but dctei mined to do so some day if he could pluck up sufficient courage. A fortnight ago, however, the lady received a letter, appaiently in the handwriting of her beloved, proposing marnage, saying that ho loved her heart and soul, and all the rest of it. The delighted maiden rushed off to her parents, showed the letter, and asked their consent. It was accorded, but paterfamilias growled out "He might have asked you to your face, instead of writing." • • • When the young man turned up that night, he was astonished at the effusive w olcome he received from his lady fair, who kissed him, and fell into his arms in a state of dreamy happiness. 'T leceived your dear letter at 10 o'clock this morning, love," she lemarked, ' and Pa and Ma gave their consent, and said they'll furnish house for us. ' "Letter! What letter? I never wrote you any letter'" "Good gracious, did not you send me tins?" "A proposal of marriage! Gracious goodness! No' But I know who wrote it; I wondered

why he chaffed me so unmercifully tonight," remarked the trembling, bewildered youth, as he darted from the house, and made for his lodgings. He accused his chum of writing the missive, and the latter laughed boisterously, and said it was a capital first of April joke. That started the packed scrum ; and that is why they had perforce to wear black eyes for a short spell. But now that the ice is broken, the young couple are going to wed all right, and the odds are that the chummy jokist will act as best man after all. * • • The story comes to us from Picton. Dr. X was out driving in High-street one day, when his horse bolted, and precipitated him on to the pavement with such force that he became unconscious. Upon regaining his senses the doctor noticed the crowd, and hurriedly said "What's the matter, gentlemen? Anyone hurt? Can Ibe of any assistance? I am Dr. X." • • » There was an extremely awkward contretemps at a fashionable boardinghouse here one Sunday evening recently. A fair inmate, who is engaged to a young man-about-town, asked him up to tea, and he duly arrived, with much pomp and circumstance. The landlady tripped into the parlour, and turned purple when, on being introduced to the fashionably-tailored gent., she recognised in him an individual who "shot the moon" in Christ church, doing her out of £10 board, money. He trembled as, he faced her, and wondered if she w ould give him away. The lady did ; and, being blessed with a fluent tongue, strings of adjectives rolled one after the other like water down a hill, his bride-elect standing by in mute consternation. The defaulting lodger did not wait for tea, but made a bolt for it, mumbling to his lady-love that he would see her again. The coldness that has existed Detween them since, however, would freeze a shipment of mutton, and the girl is apparently wondering what to do about it. Meanwhile, the irate, eloquent landlady has summoned the swain for that old boarding bill. A young couple, who got married in Wellington lately, resolved to spend their honeymoon awheel — a more novel and free and easy process than travelling by train and being gazed at by everyone. They hiked to the Wairarapa, and engaged a room at a certain hotel. When the mistress of the establishment appeared on the scene, however, she seemed to have her doubts about the domestic status of the couple, and gazed hard at the bride, who, only two days previous, had put

up at that very hostelry, and gave her name as- "Miss ." The, girl explained that she did not carry her, Marriage certificate with her, btifc it tflfe "all right," so the p*ir were giveri a room under protest, as it wete. Mad the bridegroom telegraphed for accommodation for "self and wife," and arrived by train, dressed to the nines, with a bashful girl on his arm, the ljfotel lady would have tumbled to the aitua-* tion at once, but, departure 1 from- the conventional, in the maner indicated, engendered suspicion in the mind of th« distrustful mistress, who had 'the reputation of her house to study." * • • The photo-fiend turned up at the charming residence of a city magnate not long ago, in order to picture the beautifully-arrayed bridal party on the lawn fronting the house. The grouping was most effective, but, on examination of the proof afterwards, it was discovered that the photograph had been spoiled, owing to the inclusion of a grinning, shock-haired domestic, who had thrust her head out of the top window at the critical moment. * * » Living in Wellington there is a man who follows a very humble occupation, indeed, but who is on writing terms with Cecil Rhodes, the South African chartered king. The pair were acquainted long years ago, and when they went divergent ways, Rhodes walked into millions, and the other man into poveity. It is his intention to renew acquaintanceship when things wear a more settled aspect at the seat of war, but he will discard his coal-black moles and other grimy apparel for a stock exchange suit and a shiny topper before shaking hands with the much-dis-cussed colossus. * • • Strange how some people ask Auckland, Christ church, Ngahauranga, or Timbuctoo papers to "please copy" when they insert an advertisement in a local journal intimating that they have started into wedded life, or have been instrumental in 'adding to the population, or that some near relative has just retired from the stage of life. Do these trustful people imagine that outside papers gladly clip such notifications and print them sans cash? It would appear so, and nothing amuses a newspaper man — when he is not too sad to be amused — more than when he sees a request to the Moordinabra Gazette, the North China Cheelong, or the Borneo "War Cry," to "please copy" a small half-crown item about life, love, or death. But it is a common addendum to those little domestic advertisements, and, as it is quite harmless, it may as well stay there.