NOTES ON NOSES.

New Zealand Colonist and Port Nicholson Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 34, 25 November 1842, Page 4

NOTES ON NOSES.

(From ihc- Illustrated English News.)

To put aside the extreme case of men without noses, we ask, was there ever an instance known of a man with a small, pitiful, paltry nose, distinguishing himself in arts,- literature, or arms ? Wc suppose not. Were Homer, Slmkspeare, or Milton, or Raflaclle, or Corregio, Marlborough, or Collingwood, men with little noses ? Has the “ Iron Duke,” the hero of a hundred fights, a little nose ? If he had, we are certain he never would have gained the battle of Waterloo, or become the Prime Minister of England. There is, in truth, more in a nose than many people seem to imagine. Extremes, however, are not good. It is possible for a man to have too little, as well as too much, even of a good thing. This holds especially in the matter of noses. A man may have a small, diminutive, tom-tit of a nose—in short, a mere apology for a nose ; or he may have a remarkably large, powerful, aristocrati-eal-looking nose, which seems to rule “ lord of the ascendant” over all the rest of the features. As temperance is better than either drunkenness or total abstinence, so a mediumsized nose is better than either a very small or a very large nasal organ. If, however, we were by some overpowering necessity, obliged to have cither an exceedingly small or an exceedingly large nose on our face, we should prefer to have one of large dimensions. A man with a large nose, if he does not always rise in the world, very seldom sinks into the lowest current of society; his nose keeps him always floating above. He is generally, at least, decent, and frequently highly respectable in his character and conduct.

None of these things can be predicated of a man with a small nose : it is morally impossible that he can rise in the world; his nose keeps him down. Nobody likes to have any thing to do with a man whose nose is contemptibly small; there is something suspicious about such a man. The man, in fact, feels this himself;' he cannot look you in the face like one who has a full complement of nose. He is continually reminded of his paucity of nose. He cannot shave .himself, he cannot wash himself, he cannot tie on his neckcloth, he cannot see the profile of his face on the wall, without being painfully reminded that his nose is less than the least of all noses. A feeling of insignificance steals over him; he feels that he is a mere cipher in society. He loses hope, becomes regardless of character and appearance, drinks to drown the recollections of his nose, and probably ends his days in obscurity, as a ballad-singer or a knife-grinder.

. Noses differ from each other, not only in size but also in shape. Roman noses and aquiline noses are generally esteemed the hand-

somest; they belong to the large order of nosea. There is something dominant and aristocratieal in the form and expression of these noses which render them very imposing. Such noses frequently belong to persons of superior intellect and high moral sentiment, and are often found indicative.of great strength of mind and decision of character. Grecian noses are very beautiful and becoming in women, hut we cannot say that we admire them in the male face ; they give it a soft and silly appearance. Wc never knew a man with a Grecian nose who was not a confirmed nincompoop.

Cock-noses and snub-noses belong to the small order of noses. This description of noses is much more numerous than any other; perhaps two-thirds of the population have their faces adorned with noses of this fashion. The family of the cock-noses, if not very respectable, are certainly very numerous. Yon cannot walk in the street, or go to church, or attend a public meeting, without seeing hundreds of men and women with such noses. The cocknosed men are a busy, bustling race, remarkable for their self-conceit and cool assurance. They are always nestling themselves into snug, little, great, places ; ever and anon they are becoming candidates for the office of town-councillor , commissioner of police, or magistrate, or some other place of honor, by which they will gain greetings in the market-place, and become entitled to the uppermost seats at feasts. Cocknosed men are generally remarkably loquacious, and love to hear the melody of their “ most sweet voices.” Hence, at dinners, they are constantly rising up and proposing toasts ; and at public meetings some cock-nosed mail is sure to “ get on his legs,” and raise an uproar by proposing an amendment or adjournment. The sense of the meeting may be clearly opposed to him, and on all sides his ears may be saluted with cries of “ down, down,” “ off, off,” “ spoke, spoke,” and other popular marks of disapprobation ; but the cock-nosed man is not to he put down—he is determined either to carry his amendment or spoil the meeting. The men with snub-noses are rather an amiable class of individuals. There is a rich store of humour and drollery about their noses, which causes them to be much sought after as boon companions. They are often cunning shavers—“ men of infinite jest and most excellent fancy.” Abstractedly considered, a snub-nose is not prepossessing. Looking at the nose itself, we would not form a high opinion of the mental or moral qualities of a man with such a nose; yet it is an undeniable fact, that many men who have been born into the world with snub-noses have frequently risen to great eminence, and in the race of life have oftentimes left behind them men with far better noses. Nay, wc know instances in which men with most ridiculous looking, little snub-noses, have contrived to step over the heads of men with large, imposing, aristocratical-looking, Roman noses. There is no accounting for these things; they are beyond the reach of our philosophy to explain.

The last class of noses to which we shall advert are hook-noses. They belong to the large order of the nasal organs, and are rather of rare occurrence. The paucity of such noses, however, is not much to be regretted. The men who have the misfortune to have hooknoses on their faces, are frequently “ho better than they should be they are in general sly, insinuating rogues, who by cunning and much craftiness try to circumvent and cajole the simple ones of the earth. No good can ever be expected to come of a man having a hooknose—“ Let no such man be trusted.” If we were a tender-hearted maiden, we would on no account fall in love with, far less wed, a man having a hook-nose. Such a man would in aR probability commence beating his wife, even before the expiration of the honey-moon. We cannot explain why there should be so‘ much wickedness in hook-nosed men, but such is the case. We should not like to go through Coventry with a man having a hook-nose.