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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 5, 6 January 1881, Page 2

The income tax valuation of Great Britain is now £134,000,000 higher than in 1869. •'.My case is just here," said a citizen to a lawyer the other day; "the plaintiff: will swear that I hit him, and I will swear that I did not. Now what can you lawyers make out of that if we go to trial ?" " Jive dollars apiece," was the prompt reply. The old adage that murder will but has been illustrated in a very striking manner lately. A murder of an atrocious character was committed nearly seventeen years ago in Liverpool, the victim being a woman. The perpetrator of the foul deed left no trace behind him which might lead to his dls covery, and the Scotland yard detectives were completely bsifled, and abandoned the idea of ever discovering him. About twelve mouths ago, however, they obtained a clue, and by workiDg up a chain of evidence which they managed to collect they found the murderer had left for Australia, and here they were obliged to fall back on the detectives in the various colonies. A few weeks ago a man answering to the name of the murderer and his description was found in New South Wales in one of the lunatic asylums, a confirmed maniac, where he has been an inmate for some time past. The Melbourne Cup is undoubtedly one of Victoria's greatest institutions. It brings all' classes together, Mark what Mr It. C. Bagot, the secretary of the Victorian Racing Club,, eayg of it. In his evidence before the select committee appointed to inquire into the working of the totalieatpr be said •—•" lam of opinion very strongly that the tbtalisator will be the means of annihilating the biggest lot of rogues there are in the world—that is, the mushroom bookmakers, who numbered over 700 upon the hill of the Melbourne racecourse last Cup Day. —Did you hear of any case of defaulters upon the hill ? Yes ; Bnj number of the lowest clasß of thieves, who come down to the stand reserve when they get the money of the people on the hill. They came below to try their hand and paid their 2s. The change ticket is Bs. Having paid 2s, the change ticket is Bs." Mr Bagot thicks at least 500 totalisators will be required to meet the speculative spirit on the Cup Day. The introduction will be the signal for a large number of the gentlemen now metallicians to take to work a little more arduous. The Wellington correspondent of the Lyttelton Times repeats the following rumour:—" It is thought that Ministers will, immediately upon Parliament assembling, have to meet a direct motion of want-of-confidenco; and it is whispered that already certain notorious differences leading last seiaion to the practical disintegration of the Opposition, have been settled, or at all events settled in so far as concerns united action on a want-of-confidence motion, couched in general terms. I have reason to believa that this view of the position has already been discussed by the «• ins '; and that a good understanding has been arrived at, to the effect that in the event of a defeat upon auch » motion, Ministers will ask for a dis-aolutio-n. Rumour—rumour likely' to hate iaomething substantial to go upon—furthermore »ajs that Sir Arthur Gordon would Kraut a dissolution if only with the object of ascertaining as early in big administration as possible, the real preponderating (party) feeling of the colony." The Roman Catholic young ladies have jibeen puzzliDg their prettj heads la devising new methods.of beguiling unwary and innocent young men to their forthcoming bazaar. jiHereia an extract from an English paper : which, will be of some use to them:—" Atone bazaar, princessea and fashionable beauties extorted half guineas from foolish gentlemen, in return for a rosebud or a glass of Bherry. At another a lady handed round her baby to be kissed by the mob —sixpence I' a kiss. In America, however, they improve I: on this. At one religious bazaar out west all the girls were put up to auction, and their company for the whole evening fell to the : highest bidders, who were allowed to kiss them as often as they pleased." Of course, we have no " princesses " or " professional beauties," and, personally, I don't see much in what Tom Hood calls "flabby : dabby babbies," but I commend the American idea to the fair Catholics for their "senouo consideration.—Observer. A leading London house sent recently in one day to the General Post Office, 2 tons j: 18 cwt of circulars, paying postage thereon ito the amount of £583. The house in question has 33 departments, but these circulars ; were sent out from only 20 of them. Mr Ruskin, in a letter addressed to the Conservative students of Glasgow University, iin answer to a note addressed to him in the month of July regarding his candidature as Lord Rector, says :—" What in the Devil's name have you to do with either Mr Disraeli or Mr Gladstone ? You are students at the ■ University, and have no more business with politics than you have with ratcatching. Had you ever read ten words of mine with understanding, you would have known that I care no more either for Mr Disraeli or Mr . Gladstone than for two old- bagpipes, with the droneo going by steam, but that I hate *U Liberalism as Ido Beelzebub; and that, with Carlyle I stand —we two alone now in England —for God and the Queen." Naturally this finished Mr Ruskin's candidature, and Mr Irving was the next on the list; but it was too much to expect that the godly inhabitants of the "canny" town of Glasgow i would tolerate an actor as Lord Rector of their University. A curiosity in journalistic literature has been lately published. It consists in a copy of tho Times for a d. 1980, and the sheets are filled with extremely ingenious and amusing forecastings. In the Parliamentary summary supplied, for example, in the House of Ladies, Mrs. Antipodes is represented as presenting a petition praying for & direct railway from London to New Zealand, with branch lines to the various colonies of that flourishing kingdom, whilst in the House of Peeresses their Ladyships are reported to be l ordering a return of the cost of bringing the waters of the Nile to the metropolis. In the ; cm treated of, railway accidents appear to be I out of date, but a long and sensational article jis headed "Terrible Balloon Collision." i Another article is devoted to furnishing tha full details by telephone 6f a swim across tho Atlantic ; and the editor seems to think that the people of a hundred years hence will be capable of numerous feats of an equally onerous nature. The advertisment columns; ;are full of notices indicating considerable : imaginative power on the part of the writers :of the paper; yet few or none of the announcements .appear more absurd than many of the perfected inventions of the present ! day would have appeared to our forefathers ;of a hundred years ago. The paper, which jis got up in tolerably exact imitation of the ! Times ie very readable and mirth-provoking.

Amongst tnany /amii'sing incidents and adventures narrated its Captain Theodore Wacblig'.B :^ Wanderings in Mexico," not the least diverting is the author's, account of an entirely new cure for dipsomania, the application of jwbieh to a trooper in an Indian Corps of Irregular. Cavalry he himself witnessed. It had- been resolved by the delinquent's comrades to make an exnhiple of one who, as an inveterate sot, was a chronic disgrace to the regiment and to the sober Mexican nation. The regiment having formed square, three corporals led the conivial Indian into its centre aiid took up their positions near him, two being armed with formidable whips of indurated hide and the third bearing a huge pitcher filled to the brim with a strong mixture of soap and water. All men and things being thus in their places, the colonel addressed the corps' in a brief' but fiery speech, setting forth the abounhaiions of j intemperance, and then turning towards the " frightful example," condemned him to swallow the contents of the pitcher, even to the last soap>bubble. Stimulated by a flourish of the corporals' wbips, tb£ toper gulped a I mouthful of the nauseous liquor, while the drums and trumpets rolled and brayed with deafening din. As, however, ••■ b.B turned shudderingly away frohi the pitcher a shower of hearty .cuts descended oh hi* buck and shoulders ! without intermission, until he . stretched -^ijt his hands . imploringly for another pull at the saponaceous draught. And so the" ceremony went, on for some twenty minutes, until the drinker bad succeeded in draining the pitcher, whereupon the regiment sgrig the Mexican National Anthem in chorus, and f&ttirnfed to its Quarters in the highest possible 'spirits, The curd it eeetns was an effectual! one, for Captain Wachlig states that henceforth the soberest maa in the regiment waa tbe ex-dipsomaniac who had been forced to swallow some four gallons of stiff soap and; water. An advertisement having appeared in the Greymquth papers addressed to Irishmen and Irish sympathisers soliciting contributions for tbe'defence of the Land Leaguere, a correspondent writes to the Argus objecting to any such fund being raised, and in the course of his letter says :— "I, Sir, am a native, and would like to know what this colony has to do with Parnell and his crew Why should my children become involved in a question which in no way concerns them ? This colony is populated by all classes— is, in fact, in this respect thoroughly cosmopolitan. Then, in the name of reason, why should it be sought to import to these shores the memories connected with the Boyne — "the yellow and the green." We throw open our schools, our'hospitals, our institu-' tions, to all classes ; we invite natives of all lands and climes,- aud tell them that so long as they are law-abiding subjects they are welcome to remain. What matters it to us jf Teddy Ilorke fought against the Prince of Orange } or Phil M'Carthy struggled against Father Roche. All we want is the good, the free, and we will, show: them hearts and minds, and wish them, one and all, success. Only the other day. we were informed that £10,000 bad been raised for Parnell as a defence fund, and that it, waa contemplated to obtain the best American counsel, and yet; forsooth, this is hot enough, but; NeV . Zealand must contribute her quota. < If lbs residents of the Grey Valley 'want to Btaow $heir patriotism, why. don't they look nearer borne, and raise a fund to assist the bard-up laborer, and help to feed and clothe his family. Let them read tbe, Christchurch, Wellington. Auckland, and other newspapers, and learn tbe number of unemployed in the colony, and, by so doing, the patriotic will find ample employment for (heir spare cash. When the Government rate of wages is Ss and 4s per day, methinks it would redound more to the credit of these '.active gentlemen' if they. would remember the: widow and orphan a little more, and assißt tbe Benevolent Societies throughout the colony. But, no, they won't do thU, because there is no 'patriotism' involved, and their names will not be spoken of— ' Shure, Sir, he's a stood fellow. Didn't he get up the Parnell Fund ? ' " A Melbourne correspondent, writing to a contemporary regarding the Exhibition, says:~-In pursuance of our self-imposed task, we have 'not yet made much progress in finding out what is not manufactured in Victoria.. We have, however, satisfied ourselves that they do not manufacture paupers nor workhouses. Neither do ihey make torpedoes *nor breechloaders. We have generally remarked that those nations: which excel in the one field are usually pre-eminent \u the other- May bad legislation and high civilisation never conduct us to that deplorable consummation! We find, however, which could hardly be anticipated, that among the Victorian manufactures are railway locomotives, first-class American tftloon cars of elegant construction, PaUinau cats, semaphores, and all kinds- of telegraphic apparatus and' agricultural machinery, and among them all tbonucleus of a niuseam of antiquities, in thc-iform of the first plough ;ueed in the colonies. This patriarch among ploughs bears the marks of age and rough service endured in. its pioneering mission, and should; be preserved in a glass case, for future generations, , Such, things ias parquet flooring, china, pottery, bronzes, and embroidered vestments are amongst the Victorian exhibits. What would the gold-dig-ger of aT)y gone day say to the last named ? (Perhaps, what Captain Costigan said of the jgold epauletted, be-decorated staff officer on the occasion of bis first beholding that 'glittering personage— " How I should like to pawn him." It is a singular fact that imtho last letter Miss Dobie ever wrote she {expressed herself thus:—-" I am now here going about and doling all sorts of things, but my mother Bays .that I'm too daring, and if I go on something will happen to me.". ....... ; Tanner Cocktails are all the rage at Ocean Grove. They are make by adding one ounce of cracked ice to three ounces of filtered rainwater. Tbey are considered, very ;healthy and, fattening. - i ' ) ; i The other day an Englishman went over jto Ireland to see a frjehd of hia, who is an jlristi -landlord. He said that he should like Ito meet one; of the most ardent opponents of landlords, and his friend referred jhim to 'the .village blacksmith, who, he said, was a good lenough fellow, but who, he' believed, contemplated sfiooting him shortly. -To the forge he betook himself,, and the 'blacksmith exiplained the wrongs of Ireland. '<Are we mot," .be said, {'suffering from absentees taking from Ireland all the money that we earn, and do you suppose 1 tbat wet: mean jto continue to pay this tribute to the Saxon ?" "Bat," replied the Englishman, " here there are many resident landlord?." " "" You are ;mistaken," answered the blacksmith ; "I iknow the country, and I tell you that it if full of absentees."— Truth. r '■ A very strange story ia being whispered about among tbe " hupper Buckles " of tbe |City of Auckland. Tbe fair Misi- (but no ! I dare not even indicate her name) has, dear Mrs says, "developed somnambulistic tendencies, and was met out walking in her night dress about a week ago. It appears .that jolly young spark K. was wending his way V hdmS\ about S laimgl oj^Taesdiiy week, i when he was startled by seeing & white figure , •advancing slowly/along the pathiowaxds him. Fbr'about half a minute he felt paralyzed with terror, but. having » skinful of whisky under cover, soon 1 waxed bolder, and approached the mysterious figure. Judge his surprise on recognising the fairUfies Blank just waked' ;up, terribly frightened, and crying bitterly. To take off his coat and 'wrap her in it was the work of an instant, and the pair retraced their steps -to Miss 's house, which was close by. No one need attempt to guess the actors ih'this little drama, Only about five people know of it, and they are bound under dreadful pains and penalties to keep it quiet. — Observer. A new departure in sheep-farming in this district is about to be tried by the Messrs Parsons Brothers, of> Ashwick, who, as stated by the Kaiboura Star, pnrpose going in extensively for cabbage .growing as. feed for sheep. Several acres of the vegetable named will;be sown, not merely as an experiment, but because they have" found it, by personal experience at home, to be attended with excellent results. The area to be planted is said to be over 12 acres. "What is the first think to be done in ( ase of fire ?" asked Professor Steams. "Sue the insurance company," promptly answered the boy at the foot of the class, whose father had boon burned out once or twice,

At a recent competitive examination •■ for clerkships in an '■ Irish Bank the e *» min « Was heard suddenly to ejaculate.'— " Ii tnat gentleman who is copying from his neighbor Will be good enough to leave the room, nothing, more will be" said of the matter. Instantly Seven gentlemen rose like one man, and' disappeared in silence* . The City of Ogden, in America, is to be lighted with the electric light. Four lighta, of 3000 candle power eacb, will be placed on a flag staff, at- an elevation of 200 feet. A Wellington paper says i— " The Hew Zealand Trade Protection Society, which started in the beginning of 1873, giving a monthly return to subscribers of bills of sale aud similar securities for the whole colony, has.for some years past issued a weekly list, and has now started a daily publication for Wellington. We believe there are more registrations in a week now than were recorded in a month at the time this society commenced/ ... The Simla correspondent of the English tells the following story of General Burrows: -« You must know that in order to intelligence ' a*d ' survey ' the country accurately and elaborately several camel loads of pencils and paper were sent up with Burrows to the Heimond, One day on the retirement of the force for want; of supplies there were no rations at all for the troops, so the General, recognising the extreme gravity of the situation, assembled them, made 0 speech, and then ordered- each man to be/sapplnd witha lead pencil and a.sheet of paper. He said that as General Primrose had disappointed him in sending up- the provisions he had weeks before ordered for the troops, the pencils and paper were intended to enable them to tlr«w their rations as usual. There have'been nineteen different Ministries since the establishment of Responsible Government in New Zealand in 1856. They are as'follows:-Bell-Sewell, 1856; Fox, 1556, held office for thirteen days; Stafford, 1856---61 ; Fox, 1861-62 j Domett, 1862-63 ; Wbit-aker-Fox, 1863*64; Weld, 1864-65 ; Stafford, 186569 ; Fox, 1869 72 j Stafford, 1872, held office for 31 days; Waterhoase. 1872-73; Fox, 18.73 ; Yogel, 1873-75 ; Pollen, 187S ; Yogel, 1876 ; Atkinson, 1876 ; Atkinson, (reconstructed) 1876 77 j Grey, 1877-79 ; Hall, 1879. Election day in San Francisco (writes tbe Herald's correspondent) deserves a word of notice, as being the very quietest and mo9t orderly day of the year. No liquor is allowed to be sold, and as you walk along the streets there is nothing to be seen except a group of quiet nen at every second corner, with a little table on which lie the election tickets You" wonder where the voting is going on, when a face appears at a small window and you see men walking quietly and unobtrusively through an open door, where, in a room used for the occasion, the votes are recorded. No drunkenness, no riot, no sound : it is as though a hnge national funeral was in process of celebration. In fact, the election law of this State is the best in the United States, and the polling in the different wards is an immeuse improvement on the grand hustings system. i Those who are in the habit of visiting the Queen's Wharf (says tbe Poaf) may bave from time to time noticed that Melbournebound steamers bave frequently conveyed from this port large quantities of green flax, and it has been a' matter of conjecture among the curiousaS to what use the flax is put to. It has been hinted— and th© suggestion is not at all an improbable one — that the flax is manufactured in Victoria . into rope and Bold here and elsewhere as "Manilla"— a class of rppe which readily fetches £40 per ton. However this may be, it id certain that & large t jade in the exportation of flax from Wellington it being quietly carried on. It is known that some owners of flax swamps in the vicinity of Wellington receive from £2 to £2 10s per ton for flax as it grows, and the purchasers at this figure cut and deliver it at their own cost.. Some extraordinary Bcoring was witnessed on the Melbourne Cricket Ground, on December 2nd, when a Ballarat eleven (minus Figgis and J. Morey, their best bowlers), tried conclusions with the premier club of Victoria. The latter held possession of the wickets for the whole day, making 482 for the loss of eight wickets. Of that number Dunne made the tall score of 233. . Melbourne is not likely fo fare bo well in the return, as Ballarat will then play her two bowlers, and have a tower of strength in Midwinter, who has been engaged as a professional. ] The Melbourne Evening Herald of the 11 th inst. published a complete list of the Exhibition prize-takers for beer exhibits, and we learn on good authority that although the jurors had not then made their report, the list may be considered ag semi-official. The prizes awarded have, only been telegraphed in driblets from " the other side," and it may therefore be of interest to give spme further particulars regarding the exU ibita, New Zealand* haa the credit of having carried off all the fitst prizes for bulk' beer, and one of two firs'tipTizes for bulk porter. Besides the three first prizes which fell to New Zealand, three second prizes were also ajirarded, as against one second prize awarded to Victoria and one to New South Wales. Lower down the scale of prizes we find that Victoria has scored a win of all but one of the third and all but one of the fourth prizes. This is very creditable for New Zealand, and shows what can be done here in this local industry. The jury must have had a very pleasant time of it in sampling, as may be gathered from the following extract : — v They sat in a room and the various samples were brought to them in glasses. After rejecting the samples considered unworthy of a! place, those passed were again gone through, and the process was repeated until the final selection was made. Some idea of the work may be gathered from the fact that something like 150 samples in many of the Classes had to be adjudicated upon." — Post. I Mississippi, in the United States, leads the world in radical reform. Married women are now made equal to men in every legal respect. One law briefly sets forth that " a bjusband and wife may sue each other."