VICTORIAN TEACHERS IN NEW ZEALAND.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 16, 18 January 1879, Page 4

VICTORIAN TEACHERS IN NEW ZEALAND.

A Canada cow died the other <!ay ih spite of two doctors. A post mortem revealed the canse— "a crooked darning needle stickirig in her heart." In the stomach of a Canada horse were found seventy-two shingle nails and a pound of gravel stones — the nails worn very smooth, the Toronto Globe says, " and had the appearance of having been swallowed two years ago.' ' A story is current to the effect thSt a Yankee dairyman found one morning a forge bullfrog sitting patiently on a roll of fresh batter in one of his deep cans of milk placed in the spring the previous evening. The theory is that the butter was churned by -the continous strokes of the prisoner's long legs in his persistent but unsuccessful efforts to get out during the night. It is not said that a patent has been applied for. A worthy citizen of Auld Reekie, having visited London for the first time, was thus addressed by a friend on his return—" Weel, John, what think ye o' Lunnon, noo ? Isna yon a grand place?" "A grand place?" echoed the disappointed tourist ; " 'deed, man, Sandy, it's just like a thousand Coogates !" What is the difference between a summer dress in winter and an extracted tooth ? — One is too thin (tooth in), the other is tooth out. " Ink can be preserved from mould by putting a clove in the bottle." When airs Spriggins, wife of Spriggins, of the Morning Awaiener, read the above, she cried excitedly, " There ! now I know what Mr S. always carries cloves in his vest pocket for 1" And the good old unsuspecting soul looked as pleased as if she had just heard of a new way of putting up blackberries. His Shirt— This is the way the editor of one of our Yankee contemporaries gets even with a rival ; — " A cable despatch informs us that the latest styles of gentlemeu's shirts are of black cambric, with small white spots. All that the editor of the will have to do to be in the fashion will be simply to Uke a piece of white chalk and make spots on his shirt." " JEgles" writes in the Australasian : — A squatting acquaintance of mine shears over 140,000 sheep. Towards the close of the shearing he made his appearance at the station. The evening 3he found very dull, and at last suggested to the young fellows, who served him for XI a week each, a game of whist. " Oh, not whist," suggested one of them, "we have no practice ; let us play at four-handed euchre 1" The employer gracefully acquiesced, and ere the sitting was over had the 1.0.U.'s of the whole party. Before returning to town all hands were paid, and their cheques were just about enough to discharge the liability of each of the partakers in the game which relieved the ennui of the owner of 140,000 sheep.