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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 201, 3 October 1878, Page 2

At Glasgow the other day a bride was fined its Gd for being drunk and incapable. She gave us her reason that she was to have been married the previous day, but as her intended hu3band was too druuk, the priest would not perform the ceremony. In order to solace her wounded feelings, she went and did likewise

A southern contemporary says :— This is how employment is obtained on the wharf at Wellington •— A man went to a City Cfchineilloi- and got Him td write a letter to tlie wharfinger; saying that he would "do Mitt a favor" if he Would give- the bearer something (o do Of course it was the duty of the what finger to" do favors" to members of Ihe City Council who were his musters. The result was, that Win. .tones, who had no friend in Uie Council, was " sacked" to make room for .lack Robinson who h.id. His .Honor Justice Kiehmond has not a very good opinion, of the capacity of Wellington lawyers. .Dining the hearing of a lvccni; case tiis Honor is repotted to lmve s:lid that—" What tie deplored in this and many other of the pleadings that came before the Court \v«s not the want of art or artifice, or of any technical matter, hut the wiujt of first mastering a case and then stating it in feootl plain English. There, was just enough in the declaration to keep it on its legs, and enable it to stagger along." (A laugh.) The "urgent" code of telegrams-mes-sages on which a double fee is pnid, and which in transmission have precedence of all others— has proved a great success as wellas a great convenience to the public. During the year ended 30th June last, the number of Urgent messages sent in the colony was 13,455, valued in revenue at £2099 lCs Bd. The system is a very excellent one, and of the greatest convenience to merchants and business liien as Well as td travellers, Who evince their appreciation by frequently using the code and willingly paying for it— Chronicle. The " Loafer in the street," of the Christchurch Prtsi says:— A recent teiegram informs us that a Samoan native has been flogged for a drunken assult on a European, Th^ Native Judge stated that it was his inten ion to suppress all outrages on foreign residents in a similar manner. They are a long way behind high class civilisation in Samoa. In New Zealand the authorities would under like circunlstaudes, send n Native 3ome blankets and ilour and silgar, and apologise to him for his name having inadvertently crept into the local papers. The following singular advertisement appears in a late issue of the Wellington Chronicle :— " Wanted a wife, by a bachelor in^ easy circumstances, who lives iu the Wairarapa district, and has a good home of eight rooms to take a wife to. His disposition is kind, frolicsome at times, though he is domestic in his nature, and is naturally fond of home. Would not object to a widow if she has not too many encumbrances. A small phaeton will be kept for the family use, and one female servant. Widows of a sandy or fair complexion preferred, but must be under thirty years of age. Widows of a dark complexion over thirty five need not apply, and spinsters or maiden ladies not over twenty-eight. Immediate application by letter, staling education, disposition, native coilntry, and age, with likeness enclosed, will be attended to promptly, and an interview appointed immediately, or within four days. Apply without delay, by letter, to " Wairarapa Bachelor." A writer in the Wangamii fh raid says :— I heard of a case of absent, mindedness the other day which cost the subject of it a trifle. He was coming to Wanganui from a Ranuitikei station. He took his ticket out twice before leaving the platform ; when the guard came round the absent minded one could'nt fiod his ticket, so lie. paid his fare for the third time ; and when the guard came to collect the tickets after leaving Aramoho, the ticket was agaiu missing, so there was nothing for it but to pull out his purse for the fourth time. When he arrived at Wanganui and got up to leave the train, there were all the tickets on the seat, at the sight of which there was a roar of laughter from the other passengers who had "been the amused spectators of his several successive contributions to the railway revenue. Probably the saddest event that ever happened on the Pacific coast came to light last week. A well-knowu actress, residing at the Baldin Hotel, and whose gorgeously appointed appartments testified to the substantial appreciation of her professional talent as chic (American pronounciation), was entertaining a friend whom we shall call Mr Cheapbroker, when she heard at the door the well-known rap of another gentleman, who might be referred to as Mr Kichbrokcr, For reasons it will be unnecessary to enquire into, the charming artiste found it expedient to hurriedly lock the first-named iu the closet before she opened the door to the new comer. The last visitor stayed a good while, and when he left the lady went down to dinner, feeling both bored and sleepy. The next morning she started for a trip to Europe. All this took place over three weeks ago. Yesterday a cablegram was received by the hotel proprietor— "For Heaven's sake, open the closet in 9,042, without delay." A porter hastened to the room, and as the closet door was unlocked, the skeleton of Mr Cheapbroker tumbled out on the carpet. She had forgotton him— that was all. They sent his remains home to his almost distracted wife in a market basket, and — but we hasten to draw a veil over the terrible scene. — San Francisco Chronicle.