SCRAPS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 294, 13 December 1877, Page 4

SCRAPS.

The Cheapest of Lawyers. — Keeping ones own council. The Acme of Impecuniosity.-— A spiritualist without a rap. What day of the year is a command to go ahead ? — March 4th. Three are a mob according to law. This is what a young fellow thinks when he and another chap are courting the same girl, A little boy whose sprained wrist had been relieved by bathing io whieky, surprised hia mother by asking 4< If popa had a sprained throat." Wheo a clergyman remarked there would be a nave iu the new church the society was building, an old lady whispered that she " knew the party to whom he referred." "Pay me that six-and-eight pence you owe me, Mr Mulrooney," said a village attorney. u For what ?" " For the opinion you bad of me." "Faith I never had any opinion of you in ail my life." An old Scotch lady gave. a pointed reply to a minister who knew he had offended her and expressed surprise that she should come so regular to hear him preach. She said, "My quarrel's wi' yot) r man, it's Hot wi the gospel." As much as it could carry — ** I say, Faddy, that is the worst looking horse you drive I ever saw. Why don't you fatten him up ?" "Fat him up is it ? Faix ! the poor beast can hardly carry the little mate that's no him now," replied Paddy. Big Stock. — A New York paper, speaking of the remarkable rise of an oid townsman, stated : — <( He arrived at California twenty years ago with only one shirt on bia back, but since then with continued application to business, he has accumulated ten millions."