THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 135, 9 June 1877, Page 2

THE WEEK.

" Ardahan is a— is a — well, it's a little dot on the map of Turkey in Asia." Desirous, as I always am, of imparting information of a reliable nature to the many who, I have I msoa to bcliere, do me tho favor of perusing my weekly gossip, J had made up my mind that on this particular Saturday . 1 j would tell them all about Ardahan, so, with ! this, object in view, I consulted all the Gazetteers on which I could lay my hands, but without success, and consequently, as a last resource, I made enquiries of one of I those perambulating (encyclopedias of knowledge with whom most of us are acquainted in a greater or less degree, who know every- | thing, and are prepared to satisfactorily solve I the whole Eastern Question ih a quarter of an hour. I regret to say that the couple of lines with which this paragraph opens comprisa the whole of what he had to tell me. I feel that it is incumben. upon me to say why I was so barticularly anxious to learn all about Ardahan, so I will at once give my reason, which was that a great many people who are in the habit of reading the war telegrams, and I may, perhaps, add, every newspaper proprietor who has to pay for them, have learned to look upon the name with a certain amount of suspicion, and to regard it a sort of geographical Mrs Harris, only to be trotted out on special occasions such as when news from the seat of war is scarce. For instance, on looking over the telegrams received within the last two or three weeks I find that, first of all, Ardahan was captured from the Turks by the Russians. This waa interesting, even if not true, as we in the colonies had no reason to doubt its correctness. Then there came hurrying along the wires in the air and under the water the news that the Turks had girded up their loins and retaken Ardahan from the Russians. This too was exciting in its way. A few da^s later we were informed by the same expensive medium that the last telegram might prove to be all gammon, as fche news of the recapture was not confirmed. Herein the element of excitement was wanting, but just as our minds became clouded by these harassing doubts, the wires spoke once more, and assured us that ifc was all right — the recapture had been .ffieially confirmed. In the face of our experience in New Zealand of fche amount of reliance to be placed upon official statements we looked upon the information as unquestionable, and had just begun to speculate upon the moral effect likely to be produced on the Russian forces by this proof that they were not able to hold their own againat their Turkish opponents, when once more tha cable was talking in letters of light to the staff located at Cable Bay, and requesting them to wire through the colony that the official confirmation was open to doubt. This they did, and so here we are all in a muddle about Ardahan and its occupants. It's a I great blessing, is the fact of our being in telegraphic communication with Europe during the time that an exciting war is being waged. Two days ago I met in Trafalgar-street one of the most disconsolate, woe-begone, unhappy-looking individuals it has ever been my lot to stumble across. Recognising him as a newspaper reporter, and having, a brotherly affection for gentlemen of that persuasion, I asked why such sadness exhibited itself on his countenance, when he thus unburdened himself: — "I never did see such a place as this Nelson. Nothing stirring, nothing doing that can' by any amount of ingenuity be worked up into a local. Why, oh, why are we not favored here like other communities? Even in an out of the way place like the Wairarapa they have contrived to grow a cabbage weighing ' nearly 40lbs, and then look at Oamaru J Why there they have actually had a shower of worms, real, live, crawling, wriggling worms! Is it not heart breaking to think that in Nelsou there are none of these things?" Poor fellow. I did and said all I could to console him, but it was of no avail and I left him still sorrowing. ' The Resident Magistrate has held so many Court levees this week that it is not to be wondered at if some of my talk to day should refer to what takes place withiq that imposing structure. One of the conclusions I have arrived at is that the principals in actions are of opinion that tho opposing counsel should be deadly enemies, not merely while the cases are being heard, when they are trying their best to trip each otfier up, . but ever after. I was jparticularly struck by an instance of this which came under my notice a dfty ojr two ago. _4 man and _jis wife were among tbe parties interested, and , it was really beautiful to watoh their faces ' as their lawyer tore the other and his cause I in pieces, but their countenances fell visibly when that gentleman, at the close of his address, sat down and cracked a joke with ' his opponent. Evidently they regarded him as a traitor. Another common fallacy is ' that the lawyer takes a deep interest in his client instead of in his case, but this idea I saw rudely dispelled lately. The client was crotchetty, verbose,, and irrepressible, and his manner sufficient to worry' a counsel or auy other man to death. At the close* of the evidence he asked his lawyer if he could leave the Court. That lawyer's face at that particular moment was something worth looking at, pitted as it was all over with dimples, each of which contained a smile" of satisfaction. It was an unexpected aud welcome iwlief, and the plienf had not to ask more than onue for leave of absence, More about Court. A gentleman who had lately been "on the spree" for two days, during which time he had run up a bill of four pounds odd flew to tbe Tippling Act for relief from bis debt. Oue of its provisions is that moneys owing for spirituous liquors supplied cannot be recovered, and to get over \ this the counsel for the publican ingeniously pleaded that "Schnapps," which figured largely in the bill, was not a spirit within the meaning of the Act, which was passed in •George the Second's time, and before the invention of that particular description of liquor. - It was well for him that fche enterprising, advertising, proprietor of the seductive fluid was not present to hear the spirituous qualities of his pet "Schnapps" called fo qu-stion. Had he been, the Wolfe would have gone for the Bunny, and there would have been a tragedy to record. F.