THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 87, 14 April 1877, Page 2

THE WEEK.

We only get an Easter Encampment once a year, so that it would never do to be too lavish all at once with the little anecdotes to which it gives rise, consequently I am comipelled to dole them out oue at a time. That which I have to relate this Saturday I should, if I were publishing it in a pamphlet all bv itself, narrate under the heading " How they got their grog." This was how they did it. The scene, of course, is the camp. Approach ' two weary and shivering officers to the tent of another warm and comfortable officer who had not long turned in. From without the tent a stealthy whisper, " Have you got a nip of brandy there?" From within a harsh growl—" No, I wish I had, for I'll be hanged if I believe in turning in without it. But hold hard a minute, and I'll tell you how I think we can manage it." What followed was in a whisper, all that was audible being that in Jones' tent was half a bottle of brandy. The tenor of the conversation, however may be judged by the sequence.— Scene 11. Jones' tent. Inside, loud and continued snoring; outside, three officers, from whom proceeded subdued whispers and muffled laughter. Enter one of them, who softly strikes a match, lights a candle, and having waited till the flame had a good hoid of the wick, shakes the snoring officer by the shoulder,andin agruff voice exclaims "Lights out, Sir." Officer in nightgown (turning round uneasily)—" Fours, right!" Officer in uniform— "For it's not right, Sir, at all; how is it that your light's burning at this hour?" Officer in nightgown—" Beg pardon, Sir, really thought I had blown candle out. Very sorry to trouble you. May I offer you a tot of brandy?" Produces bottle from under the bed, and hands it with instructions where to find glass to officer in uniform, who sternly reproves the delinquent for his neglect, and says that on this one occasion he doesn't mind if he does. At that precise . moment two more officers in uniform appear at tent door and exclaim in severe tones— "How's this? How's this? Light's out instantly.".. Officer in uniform inside tent . blows Out candle, rushes off. with half a bottle of brandy, and from outside there arise sounds of laughter that can only be smothered, not repressed. Officer in nightgown, rapidly understanding the situation—" Sold, by Jove!" 1 have of late been much troubled with nightmare, which assumes different shapes according to the surrounding circumstances. . On Tuesday evening, for instance, I visited the Provincial Hall, and on entering the Grand Jury Room I was inveigled by the presiding genii. (I am not sure whether "genii" is a feminine noun, but at all events I make it so for the present) into partaking of. a light supper' consisting of five dozen oysters, six rounds of bread and butter, and a bottle and a half of porter, after which I went home and to bed like any other decent citizen." Inthe course of' the night" I-fouud myself seated in a rough coral basket, in which I was bein-* hauled up to the top of a giant pine by;a cruel fairy, .who was seated on the summit, aud let down again to earth with a bump that shook every bit of breath 'out of m'y.bbdy, while from ;the boughs, came shrieks of laughter from a swarnr of: .'little creatures in queer costumes— Mother Hubbards, Little Red Riding Hoods, fishwives, ' muleteers, and the like. This nightmare I 1- ave called Christmas Tree. But she is nothing to another I unfortunately have in the stable. Her name is Karamea, and she is without exception the queerest creature, aud the biggest mystery I ever knew. Sometimes she trots alongside mc in the shape of a sewed up special settler who says he has been done brown, and has been working for two years past for the sole benefit of Mr O'Conor and his cattle; then she visits me in the shape of Mr O'Conor himself, who solemnly protests that personally be has derived no advantage from the settlement wl-ere "not a single hoof" belongs to him'. Then tho two become blended, and return accompanied by Thomas Johnston Jo.es and Charlie Matthews, and the lot perform a war dance, and then set to fighting and scratching aud backbiting, until, half in fright, half in wonderment, I awake to find that it— that is the Karamea and all that pertains to it— is a confused dream, to interpret which I and others are just about as able as were Nebuchadnezzar's magicians to tell him what was intended to be conveyed by the visions by which he was so sorely troubled. We sadly want a Daniel to come and tell us all about it, for without him or such as he the Karamean mystery" seems likely to remain unsolved. In some, indeed most, parts of the civilised world a meeting of creditors is regarded as a serious matter, aud the proceedings are of a semi-iudi c i a i character. I heard the other day, though, of one that was held iu one of the islands of the South Pacific, where a totally different state of matters prevailed. After

some remarks from" a number of naturally excited individuals who we&; present,- the chairman expressed his opinion • that ' :< C#e whole affair had been a participle piece of , well, ; I won't repeatdns word, because a copy of this paper might \each the island in question, with which wearfe connected' by* the law of libel. Shortly' afterwards another creditor, full of wrath at the way in which he averred he had been " done," stated that he would willingly forego his claim if by so doing he could get a chance to puuish the bankrupt. Thereupon the bankrupt, misunderstanding the word used, fired up and replied— " Want to punch me, doyou?"" All right, old man, I'll give you a chance as soon as this stupid meeting's over." "No thank you," said the creditor, " I'm not a blackguard." "Oh! ain't you?" retorted the bankrupt, "I thought you were, from your talking about punching me." From these little pleasantries it will.be seen. ibat. the simple inhabitants of the island I have referred to, without naming it, conduct proceedings to which we attach/considerable importance in a much more free and easy manner than we do in civilized New Zealand, where we repose entire confidence in our legislators, and trust implicitly to them to frame Bankruptcy Acts and the like which shall have the effect of protecting tradespeople against being taken in by strangers. F.

The Victorian Commissioner of Customs acknowledges the receipt of eight guineas as conscience money from "one signing himself "Duties unpaid." .\ . r At a meeting of the ".Philadelphia Committee in Sydney,-, ife was stated that locomotives could 'he- ; manufactured in Ameyica at 30 to 40 per cent below the cost In England. ,>• v • v The Ahaura correspondent of the G. J?. Araua writes aa follows :— Mr Browning, Chief Surveyor of Nelson Provincial district, who hits been sojourning with us for some considerable time past taking '« lunar," " stellar," ahd other* observations, has broken camp and left, he having completed surveys, &c, and formed trig stations. We will now have every chance of having correct surveys in this part of New Zealand. It is, I believe, owing to Mr Browning that the surveys of Westland are admitted to be the most correct iu New Zealand, and have received the warm approbation of some colonel somebody who was sent to (inquire into matters of surveys generally.