THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 12, 13 January 1877, Page 2

TH E WEE K.

If one could only direst the mind of the serious consequences that might possibly accrue from the new Counties system which in an: ill considered form has been hurled at 7 us witlr instruction;? to make the best use we can of it, a good deal of amusement might be derived from watching its operation. It is. an amalgamation of four Acts, "The Counties,'* " The Rating," « The Regulation of Local Elections," and "The Public "Works," so tna^ s t u ,iy one as closely asiyou . may, you know nothing whatever of our hew constitution until you have made yourself perfectly acquainted with all. You have a . .grievance for which you think a remedy is to .be found in " The Counties Act," which you .make your offensive weapon Striking what r.y9_. conceive to be a regular floorer with it i you are surprised to flnd that it is dexterously and .efficiently averted by "The Public Works Acj;,'^. which ia made, use of as a goard. Then, not to be done, you rush at your opI ponentwith "The Rating Act," expecting I him to go down before it, when he clutches iat The Regulation of Elections Act," aud j- so saves, himself from what appeared to be jan unavoidable fall. This, although perhaps a little exaggerated, gives some idea of tbe fencing^that took place between the two lawyers who- conducted the election petition case in Court on Thnr-day.' It is true they only armed themselves with two of these allied Actsv as are ; supposed to be, but it was interesting to observe bow they converted them into hostile forces, and how sometimes theytireated one*6f them as a friend and the othbr aa an enemy, ahd at others reversed theiP positions.' The more I see of these Acts •ant} of their bearing one on the other, the mof c do I feel convinced that the majority of us know but little of their possible working!, and that among the majority may be included the greater part of the legislators who assisted to pass them. I was really glad that I was in Court when those election petitions were being considered, for; I derived an indescribable amount of sail, faction from watching the pleased and happy smile that stole over the countenance of one of the County .Councillors who was present when he heard the presiding Magistrate assert from the Bench that he was disposed to r adopt the course of procedure laid down in " May's Parliamentary . Practice." To that Councillor's ear the sound of the word "Parliamentary," when used in connection with any proceedings connected with the august body of which he is a member, was pleasant as tye tipple-of a flowing stream to a thirsty and parched wanderer in the desert. If the Magistrate had only seea fife to speak of the gentleman whose ; election wa3 petitioned against as " the honorable member for the Motueka Riding," I believe his cup of joy wonld have been full to overflowing, and he would have regarded the whole enquiry as a special interventionof Providence to uphold the. dignity of. .County Councils. There, was another feature in the proceedings _ which Afforded me, special delight. I learnt, what I have long desired to know, a reaMy. easy: and not altogether unpleasant way o£ p&ying off one's debts. One of the candidates at the disputed election happened to be chairman of a Road Board in the district, and as the day of nomination drew near he berp_anto feel a little uncomfortable on tho score of hot haviug paid his rates. I dare say a good many who read this wili be able to sympathise with him, having themselves at times experienced a degree of discomfort from the same cause. But unfortunately all are not chairmen of Road Boards, and consequently are not in a position to escape from their 'difficulty with the same facility and convenience. He was a really clever fellow was this chairman-candidate, for, having some doubts that if his rates were not paid his nomination might prove invalid, he took | the precaution to free himself from the obI ligation before the eventful day came off, 1 and this was the way he did it. He dipped the ratepayer's left hand into the ratepayer's left breeches pocket, and took therefrom the requisite sum ol money. This, with therate____j^-___-_-^__^ H _^ M £_-__-_ 1 -^_- ta __^ (I _ a _ K ___ d _

payer s left hand, was carefully placed in tbe Chairman of the Road Board's' right hand, and .thence transferred to the • Chairman's right breeches pocket. ; Thus :was the ratepayer enabled to exclaim with Mi: Micawber, "Thank goodness, that's' sealed, while the Chairman found himself in a position to a_plrm th^t so-and^g(H-there's no occasion to>mention' names—was a duly qualMed elector. So charmingly simple a method of "qualifying/ I feel sure, never suggested itself to the minds of the legislature when in passing the « Counties Act " they provided what the Magistrate the other day called "a peculiar franchise" for the first elections. Talk I about sleepy hollow after this! I ahonld like to know whether in any County in the colony any other individual ever dreamt of becoming a duly qualified elector in the same" manner. ! To my fri.nd Smith! gpnerally.look^o keep me posted up in fche fasfiibns, o! which I always feel that I ought to know something, although I generally find them a problem which, unassisted, I am auifce unable to solve or to understand..; Smith had completely ! lost his head over the Gainsborough or I •Djuche_3 of Devbashire hats, regarding which he last; week wrote me a long speaking of them iv terms of ecstacy.. ■ ife so happened that wane of; space prevented my embodying it in my., last Saturday V letter, and I am glad now I did not, for since- then I have received another' communication from . him, in which he. reviles these. wofiSMul head adorners in terms as 'strong; as those in which -he formerly "praised them, on the gronnd that they make' all , the' wbmeni especially those about the samejieight and figure, | appear such exacfc:counterparfcs of one another j that ifc is very, difficult, if not impossible, to. distinguish between.. hem; What wrought this change of opuiim. I have iearri£-in a rather roundabout way, bnfc I cab explain it : m a few words. > Last; Saturday riighfr SBuifch was sfctolling. through the st'f§etß, wheri; ; under ' the brilliant; light; that poured-from 1 one of the dtapera' • windows he caught sjght; as he believed, of his adored 0ne.. ... -Walkingup to her from behind, quietly bnfc >i.h a beating - heart; he touched her gently,dn the shoulder ! and said, "Oh, Angelina, this is indeed an i unexpected pleasure.'? He meant 'to say' more,, bufc.a well delivered back-hander met the hps which were prepared to utter so many \ soft nothings, ; a pair of angry flMiiog r eyes, which werfj not those of Angelina, were ' turned full upon him, and an angry and-iex-1 cited voice exclaimed, « None o' yer Angelinaringme, yoring man." Smith _aw his' mistake, accepted the. rebuff, and walked oni as though nothing had occurred, but the way ; he talks about Gainsborough hats now is something awful to listen to. - r. -• :: I have always been an advocate fcoa certain extent of what is known as funeral reform/ for I believe that we cannot bury our dead dear as they may have been fco ns, with too little show or too much simplicity. lam not, however, prepared to • make -a ■ iunerali k. cheorful ceremony, as appears! to have been i done in a certain part of the colony, not-- very far from Nelson. The newspaper paragraph containing the description bears internal evi--denceof having been written by-the- -enter-, prising undertaker who ,' conducted the" funeral, but whether ifc was or was not so does not much matter. Here is an extract from it, names being omitted:—" The coffin was an exceedingly neat design by Mr . Instead of the sombre coffin furniture it had mountings of rimu, with handles of white .twisted' cord, which showed with a strikingly pleasing effect. Two magnificent wreaths of freshly^ gathered flowers resting upon the' top; com- : pleted one of the most agreeable contrasts to the ordinary coffin which we have ever witnessed, and seemed repeatedly to exercise a cheerful effect upon what is usually a cheerless occasion." After describing the procession, the paragraphist goes on to say: J. 'Every surrounding waa suggestive of cheerful thought. The very situation of the grave was eminently so," &c, &c. The man who afc a funeral can detect " agreeable contrasts." between the coffin before him and others he has. seen on previous ;occasioiiS;s have a cheering effect producecl-upon him by 1 the ceremony; and regard the situation of the . grave as "an eminently cheerful " one, must have a good deal of the Mark Tapley spirit in him, and be prepared to be : jolly ; under f any circumstances. - j» t