THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XI, Issue 262, 2 December 1876, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Like almost everyone else in Nelson I felt bound to "be present at the Horticultural Show, and a very pleasant sight it was to see so rnany people to all appearances thoroughly enjoying themselves, notwithstanding that the temperature was up to stewing point. It was gratifying, too, toiobserve what pleasure was occasioned to the gainers of the prizes by their success. It was not the value of the prize, which was, after all, a mere trifhv but it was the satisfaction of knowing that you had outstripped all other competitors. At the close of the first day I met a friend leaving the Hall with d^ight so strongly depicted on his countenance that I could not help stopping Mm and asking what it was that so pleased him. It was no secret, he had taken "first prize " in a certain class, and waa overjoyed at hairing been able to produce an exhibit which 'had beaten all those, that were pitted against it. I did not tell him, what I happened to know at the time, that his was the solitary exhibit of the particular kind, lest it should have damped his spirits. But although there ie much real pleasure afforded by the winning of a prize, there is also something to be Baid on the other side. Imagine thirty-five ladies sending in bouqueta, each firmly believing that hers would eclipse all the others, and only two or three getting prizes. Do you think there wasn't just a little bit of soreness felt amongst the thirty-two unsuccessful ones, or can you suppose that none of them felt a contemptuous pity for the bad taste of the judges? I must say I never heard a grumble, but I can quite imagine that there were a few, not expressed perhaps, but thought. I daresay those who have been in the habit of attending the law courts have often wondered at the patient forbearance exhibited by the presiding judge or magistrate when listening to long and argumentative speeches from counsel, it being quite clear to all in the Court that he had formed his own opinion, which was not to be shaken by any amount of talk. It is not often though that the Bench addresses a lawyer as was done here the other day. The latter was pouring forth a torrent of burning eloquence, and was gradually becoming more and more excited as he expatiated upon his client's wrongs, when he received a sudden check from the Magisterial chair in these words:— "It's not a bit of good for you Mr Hole to go on speaking, nor for counsel on the other side to address the Bench, "which has thoroughly made up its mind." I never saw so sudden a collapse. The interrupted one, however, received some consolation on learning that it waa in his favor the judicial mind had been made up. I find that since last Saturday I have been promoted to the brevet rank of grandmother. The notification of my appointment was contained in a paragraph which appeared in the Colunist last Tuesday, and as I ara desirous that it should be seen by the public and not merely by the few who depend upon that dull and dreadfully dreary publication for information upon passing eventg, I will ask permission to reproduce it in the Mail in order that the people of Nelson and the surrounding districts may have an opportunity of perusing it. This is how it runs:— . " The Evening Mail's <F' labors with all her might to extract fun from a letter which appeared in our columns from a Riwaka settler. The old lady must have often been ■dispoged' to put her lips to the Hennessy bottle, for which her subsequent paragraph indicates such a grandmotherly affection, before even she could suppose that underrating, suppose it exists, is a warrant for taxing without any equivalent." Now, I am not at all sorry that the Colonist has conferred upon me the right to speak out my mind to my numerous grandchildren, because there are some of them who require to be talked to pretty plainly. I must deal with them one at a time, and shall address this my first letter to one whose career I have watched for some years with much anxiety : — TO MY GRANDSON JOSEPH. My dear Joseph— As your loving grandmother, who takes a deep interest in your welfare, I wish to hava a serious talk with you upon your general conduct, which has not been such as to afford pleasure or satisfaction to your aged relative. Were this a sermon instead of an ordinary private letter, I should have to commence with a text, and, had it been necessary, this is the one I should have selected:— " Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel." This, at once, and without any unnecessary circumlocution, points to that leading feature in your character to which I now propose to call your attention. With so many demands upon my time as were made hy my numerous other grandehiidren, I was unable to watch you in your youth, and therefore knew but little of you at the time you first came forward as a public man. Still I was aware that you were possessed of far more than average ability, and it was with no little pleasure that I learnt that you had been elected to serve your country as a Member of Parliament. But my pleasure was not long-lived, for I very speedily discovered that you had not created a favorable impression as a legislator, and from casual remarks that reached my ear I felt satisfied that you were never likely to do so, for you at once obtained the reputation of being altogether unpractical, and, what is worse, inconsistent and unreliable. But it was not until that eventful year when you voted one day one way and a few days later in exactly the oppoaite direction that it was bruited abroad that your action was influenced by some consideration in no way connected with your country's welfare. From that time you were ruined as a politician. Not only did you indulge in that pernicious habit of "sitting on a mil," but you did it so clumsily and played your little see-saw game so badly that you at once stepped into the unenviable position of being the laughing stock of New Zealand. The press saw through you at a glance, and from the Bay of Islands to the Bluff you were sneered at and ridiculed as a disappointed place hunter As years rolled on, the time came for the dissolution of Parliament, and you sought re-election. With what result ? Why, your brother Edward, greatly inferior to you in ability, book learning, and worldly experience, defeated you

lgnominiously. Why ? Because he was trustworthy, whereas; your former constituents could not feel sure to what extent, in ; ' the event of another political crisis arising,, you might turn about, and wheel about, and generally do the Jim Crow business, in which yoa had proved yourself to he such a proficient. I was greatly in hopes that this defeat' which I have no doubt you felt very keenly would have proved a lesson to you, and that you would have forsaken those ways that are dark which you seemed so fond of pursuing. But no. In a few weeks you were placed in a position that afforded you every opportunity of talking, in such a way as to ensure your being heard by a few, about political matters, and you at once commenced in the most sickening way to besmear the then Premier with the butter, of flattery. You bowed your head before j_im, you kissed his very feet, you fawned upon and toadied him to such an extent as to attract the attention of all your brothers, who with one voice exclaimed, " Well, there's no mistaking what Joseph wants now. If ever one man established his right-to a billet by servilely cringing to another he certainly has done so." And some of them went on to say, "If I. could secure the best paid office in the colony by such conduct I could not bring my-! self to pursue it." And then, even while men were thus talking, you suddenly veered round and went upon an opposite tack. Him upon whom you had fawned you roundly abused; of him before whom you had bent the knee in all servility nothing wis too bad for you to say. You reminded me, and others who were watching you equally- s closely, of an Irish beggar woman who, when imploring alms of a passer-by beseeches all the saints ih the calendar to shower blessing^ on his head, but on finding that nothing is to be got out of him, heaps curses upon him. And so, whenever your name is now mentioned, men speak slightingly of you .. and | say ■■-»«.• Unstable as water he'll never excel." lam glad the Colonist made a grant-mama of me, Joseph, -because it affords me this opportunity which I should not otherwise have had of speaking to you. with that freedom and absence of reserve which should always characterise the relations between grandmother and grandson. I hope you will take to heart what I have said. Just think what might have been, and.compare it with what is. With your talents, abilities, and opportunities, it was open tp you to be a leader among men, instead oif which the sole distinctive mark by which you are to be singled out from the common herd is your coat of many colors. There is a deal J more I should like to say to you, but I must for a time reserve any further remarks, as I may, perhaps, be called upon to address you 1 again. — In the meantime, I remain, my dear , Joseph, your affectionate Grandmother I F.