FOUR OUNCES TO THE TON.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume V, Issue 165, 15 July 1870, Page 2

FOUR OUNCES TO THE TON.

[The following humorous letter has beeu forwarded to us by a correspondent who professes to have picked it up in the street, a statement which, without wishing to cast the slightest reflection upon his truthfulness, we are somewhat disposed to disbelieve.] Nelson, 13th July. My Dear Brother — I don't know whether my former letters have conveyed to your mind a correct idea of the dulness of this place, but I assure you it has of j late been becoming unbearable. The men go about the streets with heads bowed down, and woe-begone countenances, which make them look as though they were in a perpetual state of attending funerals ; the women too, have that melancholy expression which is caused by seeing in the milliner's windows this lovely shawl or that exquisite bonnet which their husbands and fathers are not sufficiently wealthy to purchase for them ; and the street boys — well, boys nre all descendants of Mark Tapley — and so they somehow or other contrive to retain a certain cheerfulness of countenauce. After this description you will be able to understand the surprise I felt on going into town this morning to find the people gathered together in small knots with glistening eyes and faces lighted up with smiles. My curiosity was at once roused, and I asked the first frieudl met why this sudden change. " Three ounces, eight pennyweights, and four-fifths," was the reply, as he rushed away to where a crowd was collected at the window of a small tumble down looking tenement on the other side of the street. I am not usually wanting in intelligence, but T confess I did not quite take in the meaning of his words, so I addresse 1 a similar question to another gentleman and was answered in the same excited tone, " A hundred and seventy-one ounces and a half. Hurrah ! " Confound the ounces, thought I, the town is surely gone mad, but I will try once more. " Would you

be kind enough to explain to me the reason of all this excitement ?' : This was addressed to a sombre-looking gentleman who appeared tome to be altogether above being led away by^his feelings. "Havu'tyou heard" was the reply in a tone of wonder and astonishment, "four ounces to the ton. Come Jcway and have a drink." I understood the latter part of his speech, and it being about the ti'mo at which I take my customary draught of sarsaparilla I started off with him to the Masonic Hotel, where all the speculations are hatched. On .our way he told me that the Perseverance Gold-mining Company had just received news of a splendid crushing from their mine, and as the hopes of everybody in Nelson rested on this, the excitement was at once accounted for. On entering the Bar we found a flushed and talkative crowd, all of whom appeared to be conversing on the same subject; their sentences as they reached my ear were a little disconnected, but if I relate a few of them you wilt perhaps understand the burden of the conversation* Splendid yield of — Grin, and peppermint, if you please — Fifty tons crushed — From 171 to 172 ounces — You see the gold is mixed with the quicksilver and forms an amalgam of — Two beers and a brandy please — What will you have to drink old fellow — Two ounces of quicksilver steamed out of the retort — You squeeze the quicksilver through chamois leather and — Shandygaff and bitters — Poured on the copperplates — The stampers soon knock out — Change for sixpence — The machiue works perfectly and the wheel is turned by — Three sherries and a gingerbeer, if you please — and so on. I was begiuning to get a little confused with this somewhat rambling conversation so I weut outside, aud in the street I met a mau who has owed me 13s 6d for tha last 17 months. Thinking this au excellent opportunity for dunning him, I suggested that the payment of the amount would be convenient to me, but was met with the reply "My dear Sir, you really must excuse me but I am so excited with the news from Collingwood that I feel quite unable to attend to business matters." The hot blood rushed to my cheeks as I felt that I must have been guilty of a grievous faux pas and with an abashed countenance I passed on without the money. Walking down the street I met another friend bustling along at the rate of thirteen paces to the dozen. "Oh! I'm so glad I met you," said he, " I want the benefit of your [advice as I am, thinking of buying a carriage, aud would like you to help me to choose one." I expressed my willingness to do so, and, at the same time, remarked how pleased I was • that his circumstances had so far improved as to enable him to ride instead of walk. "My dear fellow," he said (and he stretched himself out lo at least two inches higher), " I consider my fortune as good as made, I have five shares in the. Perseverance." : Perhaps h8 was right, but I didn't think " the merchant would take his five shares as security for the carriage. On our way we looked in at the window I have before mentioned, and there was the cause of all the excitement — a lump, about the size of half a Dutch cheese, of something that looked like a cross betweeu a bar of soapand a chunk of bees- wax. [The remainder of the letter is missing]

The following condensed report of Mr. J.C. Richmond's speech on the Financial Statement is from the Evening Post : — | The financial policy was a kind of gigantic Christmas tree, with a prize for everybody. It was all prizes and no blanks. First of all, there was the great prize to those on. his side of the House of the Colony at last engaging in a really great. Colonial enterprise. Then there was & little prize to the country districts in the shape of Road Boards, for it seemed that the Government was now aware that the plaint which had so often gone up from -what the prentlemen opposite used to term the out-and-outlying districts, had -some foundation. Of course, those who now took up the cry were not like their predecessors "political pedlars." Then there was the little prize to the Superintendents in the shape of a veto on the public works, and there were a variety of little prizes for every one concerned, but after all, the scheme would bear very hardly on Provincial Governments. The Treasurer seemed completely to have got over the anxiety by which two years ago he pro* fes3ed to be overwhelmed for the safety of that pure virgin, the constitution, the

' Christian martyr, which he had one memorable occaaioD so poetically alluded to. He had professed shame and anxiety at the treatment that lady was being subjected to, but it now seemed that, although Mr. Vogel would not let any one else do so, he had no hesitation in maltreating her' himself. Probably he thought that the feelingof thatlady was, as expressed in theline If the hand that lioye lays me low, Then there cannot be pain in the blow. The Government might think that the proviuces would prefer death at their hands to dishonor at the bauds of any one else, aud certaiuly the Government proposals were nothing short of a scheme of rapid starvation to the provinces, as the capitation grant would year by year decrease, until it ceased altogether, owing to sheer inability to find the money. At present, the burden of this colony was in proportion to its population double that of the national debt of England. The Government scheme proposed to make it five times as much. That was a broad fact ; but there was another, and that was, that after the assurances given by the commissioners in England to the bondholders, it would be an act of moral bankruptcy to endeavor to break faith by contracting another enormous loau. With regard to the railway scheme, Mr. Richmond, while strongly in favor of cheap railways where needed, adduced a mass of figures, showing on the experience of Victoria and other countries, that if the Government scheme was carried out in 1880, instead of the lines, as Mr. Vogel anticipated, paying half a million above working expenses, the utmost that could be expected would be a deficit of £15,000 a-year. He advocated single Hues of railway along the present liucs of road. With regard to immigration, he advocated a colonial scheme, one element of which should be liberal land laws to induce the emigrauts when here, 1o remain and settle down. As to defence, Le was in favor of a part of the cost being charged on loau, although the Government had last year bitterly condemned such a policy. He thought an armed defence force would be necessary for the next twenty years. Looking at the whole scheme, and remembering the statement uttered by Mr. Fox when he returned from England, to the effect that it would be a good thing if the credit of the colony was so utterly ruined that it would be impossible to borrow another sixpence, he feared that Mr. Fox had outwitted his simple, earnest colleague, the Treasurer, and, under pretence of a plan for borrowing largely, had really promulgated, a plan which would effectually prevent their borrowing at all. He counselled the Government to withdraw its proposals, and leave it to the country to decide to what extent immigration and public works should be carried out. • For remainder" of News see Fourth page.

At Evan's Flat, Otago, Tuapeka coal (lignite) is sold at 12s. a ton. Mr, Larnach; themanager of the Bank, of Otago, has offered to advance half-^a-million of money at 8 per cent., for the construction of the Clutha railway line. A new Periodical, the Tomahawk, is , to be published in Auckland, and will be the same size as the Punc h used to be'. The illustrations will be done by Mr. Frank Varley. A large extent of ground has been taken up between Lawrence and Waipori, Otago, for the purpose of mining for antimony. This mineral is worth £42 a ton in England. The ground is said to be rich. Mb. Justice Chapman recently suspended the discharge of a bankrupt at Dunedin, named George Young, for three years. This is the longest time allowed by the Bankruptcy law, and the first occasion, we believe, that the law has been so rigorously enforced. A Boat's Chew Missing. — From a telegram in the Wellington Post we learn that the schooner Daphne arrived afc the Bluff on Friday, having left Port Ross, in the Auckland Islacds, on the 22nd of June. Acting-master Cousins reports that on the 19th of May Captain Ashworih part owner, a crew of four, and a diver, left in a whaleboat, with a week's provisions, to proceed to the spot of the wreck of the Geueral Granf. After waiting five weeks, and seeing nothing of the boat, the schoouer sailed for Invercargill. The captain left no memorandum on tha island, so, should the men have made the land, the Blanche can gain no knowledge of the fact. A public meeting was held at Invercargill to enquire into the affair, and a committee then appointed have commuuicated with the Geueral Government who have undertaken to despatch a vessel immediately. The Honorarium. — On Mr. Wilson's [motion anent the question of the honorarium coming before the House, a rather warm passage-at-arms took place between Mr. Borlase and Mr. Wilson through some unhappy allusions which the latter gentleman made to the want of experience displayed by "young" members, and the undesirability of having men in the House who could not pay their own expenses, Mr. Borlase took umbrage at this peppering of chutney and curry, and a little smart repartee was the result ; "young " Borlase retorting by stating that perhaps the hon, member for Coleridge would like to see the country governed by a lot of "old buffers " who happened to be the fortunate possessors of pockets full of money without a corresponding amount of intelligence, remarks which the Speaker ruled to be somewhat unbecoming. Fdrtur.ately the scythe of Time had reached halfpast five on the dial plate, and the Speaker brought about a truce by announcing the fact. — Advertiser. The Wellington Evening Post of the 7th says :— We understand that the debate on the financial policy of the Government has been postponed by consent of both, or rather all, parties until to-morrow evening. The Stafford party, as we understand, held a meeting yesterday, but what the result of their deliberation may have been, we are not in a position to state. Rumour says that they will not offer any direct hostility to the Ministry at present, but, in the course of the debate, will endeavor to alter materially Mr. Vogel's scheme, and send it to the country with a new face. It is also expected that Mr. Ormond will play the useful role which ha undertook last session, and suggest, as a private member, modifications which, Government are prepared to accept. If; really seems as if the opposing parties were afraid to join issue until they have allowed time for the opinions of their constituents on ihe gigantic scheme to be expressed. There is so much glitter about these millions, even although they are visionary, that weak-sighted people are apt to be dazzled by them. A New York paper speaks of a man with one eye named " Robert Welch," but does not tell what his other eye was named. "I hate cats almost as much as old womeu," exclaimed an Hibernian in acoffee house; "and if I had been the English Minister I would have vlaid the dog-tax: upon cats."

High Water at Nelson. Morn. Afternoon. Friday July 15 ... 10.38 10.58 Saturday „ 16 ... 11.13 11.28 Sunday „ 17 ... 11.44 12.1 Monday „ 18 ... 12.18 12.35 Tuesday „ 19 ... 12.35 1.16 "Wednesday „ 20 ... 1-42 2.8 Thursday „ 21 ... 2.20 2.51