Political Prattle

Maoriland Worker, Volume 3, Issue 80, 20 September 1912, Page 1

Political Prattle

WHAT IS A LIBERAL?

As far as Vernon Beed'e oouoemed, he added with & wink, He's just a otoioeity, w wit «l (ffiissing link, For VeJnon c'en 6f MrjWwjense na*n't got his proper whaok, He's very near all dOnfceyl ttfo a case of throwing back I A. M. Myers, who Was Minister of Finance, Defence and Railways ia fhe Mackenzie Cabinet, has followed in the footsteps of Wilford and renounced allegiance to the Liberal Party. ; [Who'll be the next? i * * * "It is my ambition to fed to the Legislature." "Huh. X3ut* isn't an ambition; it's a disease." * *.■ k j Political amenities..— tear," said Isitt, in the House of Representa- I tive3 when Buick oommenoed to speak. J "Go down and get your bait tut and J your ears cleaned, and then you'll be J able to hear," remarked the buoolie/ Buick. Now, that's a toice Sctft of thing to say out loud enough to get into .-' print, isn't it?, * * * "Wliat do you think of the two can* didates?" asked one Egmont elector of another. "What do I think of tfoem?" was the reply. "Well, when 1 i!binkiof them I'm thankful only one of them can get in." •■.."* * * A Press Association message front Christohurch states that "Joe" Lesina, of Queensland, has been appointed ftew Zealand organiser for the liquor trade. Lesina represented Clermont in tb* net. Queensland Parliament, but the constituency was abolished in consequence of the redistribution of Beats, and Lesina did not stand at last election. Sir Arthur Guinness, who has btoeu in touch with Cabinet Ministers, has telegraphed to Greymouth his opinion, that the Government will go on with, the Otira tunnel if the contractors abandon the work. The Minister of Works, however, etates that no decision can be come to on the subject until the Parliamentary Committee now discussing the contractors' position has reported to the House. *. ■ * « The Minister of Defence was asked by Mr. Bradney lest week.ifc. the WM; aware etc tJu» various jails of the Dominion, \an4 would he give the Hisu&e his assura£oe> of their immediate release. The Mm« ister replied that it is the intention of the Government to introduce *Ms see* sion amending legislation providing for the Jsubstition of military detention for imprisonment in cases such as thoee leferred to by Mr-< Bradney, but until such legislation was passed by tie ( House the law as it stands must her I complied with.

One of the puzzles at present agitating the public mind is, What is a Liberal. The immortal William wrote: ' "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By' any othei as" , sweet." But then William knew nothing about "Liberals," or he would never have written it.. He had too much respect for a rose. Men of our times, whose rotundity proves a daily acquaintance with turkey and truffles, would say "A Liberal is a man with liberal political views." There is a certain amount of truth in this. The views of J. A. Millar have always been "liberal" enough to embrace anjt sort of policy likely to result in his being top dog. Bob Semple would most likely describe a Librral as a "creature," while to the Editor of The Worker "A Liberal is a cross between a Laborite and a, Tory, with a. big dash of Opportunism thrown in," and our sporting editor would give it as his opinion that ''Liberal is by "Modern Times out of Necessity." Apropos, we have taken the liberty of localising the warble of "Hush," in the Adelaide "Herald":— "What is a Liberal?" That is what the people want to know ; What brand of politicians are Joey Ward and Co. ? Some say their evolution would make a comic story. ■And others that they're just a cross 'twixt Laborite and Tory. A friend of ours, who's travelled and "seen things," so to speak, Has studied in the local 'Ouse some specimens unique. "A Liberal's a coon," he says, "who's always after 'pelf!' He doesn't care for others, but he's 'liberal' to himself. As for being a patriot, that's not the way he's built; He'll tackle any politics that bring him , in the gilt. He'd turn a double somersault, or some such nimble feat, If he thought the act would land him upon a Treasury seat. He'll pull the poor old voter's leg for ever and a day. His motto's —While the sun shines you should gather in the hay! • • m Another keen observer of Liberals of the day Thinks they're simply hybrids and argues in this way: Gross a donkey with c horse, and you will get a mule'; Half the progeny is horse, the other half is "fool." In other words a "donkey." Now, this little allegory Means one half is Labor and the other half is Tory; He's got a certain horse sense, while he's cunning as a mule. That's how he 4teeps the worker as a sort of "Libteral" tool!