MR SNYDER INFORMS MRS. S. THAT BE WANTS TO BECOME A BOROUGH COUNCILLOR.

Manawatu Times, Volume II, Issue 79, 21 July 1877, Page 2

MR SNYDER INFORMS MRS. S. THAT BE WANTS TO BECOME A BOROUGH COUNCILLOR.

(Prom the " Charleston Herald.") Mr Snyder went home one morning about eleven o'clock, and tpld Mrs S. that he intended to stand for Borough" Councillor. - Mrs S. at the time was preparing a pumpkin pie for dinner. When she heard the/ announcement she sat down ,on the. corner of a chair, the flour reaching to her elbows. She said, Snyder, .you are going to make a spoon_ of yourself, as you have done many a time since 'I've known you. That's 'what your are going to be at. What .do you want to be a Councillor for? Aren't you at peace with yoursel£ and all the world P Then ' -why do you wjsh to rush into strife. Mr Snyder said it was a great honor to be a Councillor/ It showed what confidence the burgesses placed m him. | Besides there was no knowing what would come out of it. v Attorney-Gen-erals, Premiers, Chief Justices, and Commissioners of ever so many things

had been Councillors. What was to pfe* vent him .from becoming one , of them? Mrs thbug&t^there fras about as much chance of' Mr. -Snyder becoming one of tlieiii as the pumpkin on the table iiad^Dpf a The cnaifces \ were more • in' \iavof of the i^pjdmip'kiiu.-* " " I - ; AlSf • . & Mr Snyder didn't likVio be made fan /of by^tiisCwife^arid he told her so. Mrs S. thought it was better to be made fun of by -her who had some sort of respect • for him, which perhaps after all was more-than he was entitled to look for, than by a lot of, people yho didn't 'care whether he had a button to his shirt, or went to work" without "his" boots "being blacked. ' '» > " - ' ' - Mr Snyder thought Mrs'S. was wandering from the subject. Mrs. S.- said to be sure and of course. Ste was always wandering from her subject m Mr Snyder's opinion when she tried: to prevent him making- an idiot of him* self. What did Mr Snyder .want to be getting into hot water for, which- h$ would be sure to do. , What; did, he want to be set up and -knocked' down "and sat upon , by the "newspapers, and told by the people he was robbing 'em) and to be' called, a. log' roller and 'that he,was spending 'other peoples 'money m making a gravelled J .footpath,iir&pnt of his own door, and a' metalled flight. " of way at the back, while other, people who^ paid fdr' it had 'to wade~ through water and mud to get to "their dwellings. And what did 'he' want far be wasting his previous time for, -and only get abuse instead of>thanksrfor ( it? •: Mr Snyder -said virtue, brought its own reward. (The consciousness of trying" to do good *f or his fellow oifizens, was t ample , satisfaction. He "shouldn't be losing his time as theGouncil sittings would take place of an evening. Mr S. knew about that. There' was a/Councillor Wilkins m the last,town she lived m, and he used to come home at eleven or twelve 'at night, and sometimes one or two m the morning, and he always, made the excuse r that there had. been a late, sitting and a long debate, arid that, he had been",'engaged fighting the battle of "the burgesses— „ Burgesses indeed ! Why one morning^ Twhen > her husband ''returned long after* midnight, complaining .how completely done up he was, and how exhausted he was, and how he must have some brandy and water, when the next, morning as Mrs' Wilkins happened to 'take, up the, paper which the runner boy had dropped at the door, almost the first' words she read at .the 'bottom of a column were — " And the Council adjourned at 9 p'.ra., till that day week." , • Then she; soon found it all out.-;- _ Found out that the. Councillors got over their work as soon as they could" and then went boozing away for hours" m the parlors of public houses. The Councillors afterwards bribed the reporters not to put the hour of adjournment m the paper, but, once bit, twice shy* Mrs Wilkins " wasn't -to "be done again. The next meeting night she walked square into the -and ' moved* a resolution seconded it and carried it all herself, without' asking any help or giving time for an amendment that her husband be requested to return home there and then or shewould pull out what little' hair he had. left on his- head. And it wasn't many days before Mr Wilkins sent m his resignation. Mrs S. long before she concluded, ' had worked herself up to a very high - pitch of excitement, and she was not soothed when Mr Snyder told her to scrapethe flour off her face and nose^ which she had" coated them with, or there, wouldn't be enough left to complete the pumpkin pie-. Mrs'S. supposed the first thing Mr' Snyder would -be at if he got into the ■ Council would be to tax the people.- ' Mr Snyder said that 'would be abput » it. .There wafc an inherent propensity m man to tax his fellow man. It was • a sweet revenge for 'the wrongs he had suffered m his career through Imp; > * Mrs Synder supposed that v&y soon people wouldn't be able to keep a' pig, r or a goat, or a few fowls, orthrow>tneir ' potato peels out into the back yard, or > nave liberty to <Jo anything. Mr Snyder was of opinion that^Mr.s , S. had supposed just the right 'thing:' 5 ' or else what was 'the good of being a Councillor. ' ' • Mr S. considered that Mr .Snyder l would ,be selling his birthright for a mess of porridge. ' "* " ' Mr S. said did Mrs S.mean pottage t Mrs S. said she did not paean anything of the kind. She meant just .what she said. Mr S. could make it pottage or . porridge to" his fancy as long as he didn't try to aggravate her. Then* Mr Snyder entered upon a calm explanation. He told Mrs S.-what a ', nice thing it wpuld be for her to be looked up to as a Councillor's wife. How she could write home to all her relations and tell them what her husband had risen to, because they wouldn't of course know that anyone who paid a few shillings a year for rates could be a Councillor if he got enough votes. He told her how, when he became a Councillor, she would have 'to have anew silk dress, and how she ..would be invited out to tea parties, and of course go to the ball to be given. to 1 the Prince of Wales when he' comes. He told her how savage and wild Mrs Stuckup and Chickalbiddie set and the other women would be when they heard her addressed as r Mrs Councillor Snyder, while their own husbands had to submit to being taxed by Kirn, and their tenders rejected and ~ the like. - ' - Then the clouds which had so- long gathered about Mrs S. began to clear away.-and she^thought upon considera- f tion that she would nave no objection to Mr S. going into the Council. ; ■ ; Mr. Snyder said there- was only one . : slight' drawback. '?. / ; ' ; ';- :' Mrs S. wished to k^dw'iifhat that waa/

, r Mr S. said^he was not qualified. /j Mts Si wanted to know what that meant. She supposed he could read* tod write. ] w C £ . T * ' Mr S. said neither of these acquirements were necessary m order to become a Councillor. ' Mrs S. next wanted to know whether Snyder did not pay his butcher and Iris baker, and his grocer, andhis landlord, to tEe last faf thing, and everybody else. Mr S. said these virtues did not constitute a qualification. Mrs S. wanted to know then what didP •- J ' ' V Mr S. said being placed on the burges'S'TOll. / He was not on 1 it and was vejyglad indeed. •- Then Mrs S. saw that Mr Snyder had been hoaxing her all the while, and he only cleared the -pumpkin by about three inches as he bolted out a of doors. * 7 A.1 ' !t * '•" (1 ' T ' ' '■/ v