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Manawatu Standard, Volume IX, Issue 54, 5 February 1885, Page 4

The following bunch of jocosities is respectfully comended to the railway departmeut ot our beloved colony: — ** Wendell. Philips, while wearily waiting, with others, at a solitary station, saw a cemetery near, and enquired why it was so well filled. He was calmly informed by a Vermonter that it was used to bury passengers who died while awaiting the arrival 8f the trains. — This reminds " Prairie Farmer " of a certain empty State prison. A visitor enquired if tnere were no criminals m the State. " Oh, yes," said the atteindant, "plenty of them, but they have to come here on the D. and J. R. R., whose cars run so slow that there sentences all expire before they reach here." — Also, of the woman who was trying to pass her son on an half-fare ticket. The conductor asked if she expected to get such a large boy through at halffare. " Well," said she, "he may be too old now, but he was young enough when we started on this railroad." — And of another : A conductor having been discharged for carrying a passenger free said he did it because he was tired of riding alone. No successor applying, he was taken on again, with tfie priviledge of inviting a friend when he was all alone. The next day, seeing a man walking along the track he, hailed him, offering a free ride. The man thanked him but declined, on the ground that he had no time to wail;.

" Apropos of the apotheosis of Mr Gladstone, it may interest the curious m such coincidences to note that it comes m a month memorable mMr Gladstone's career. It was m December, 1809, that he was born ; m December, 1882, he first entered Parliameut; m December, 1852, he was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer : m December, 1868, he first became Prime Minister; m December, 1879, he inaugurated that ' campagne" 1 which resulted m the present Parliament ; and it is m December that Mr Gladstone crowns, and, as you anticipate, may close his political career, with a triumph of which you say 'no other Englishman could ever have dreamed.' n