Pair of Chews.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IX, Issue 19, 20 December 1884, Page 1 (Supplement)

Pair of Chews.

At an intended wedding, just as the ceremonies were to begin, the bride suddenly called upon the bridegroom to abjure tobacco, on pain of forfeiture of wedded bliss, etc., which he refused to do — then and there taking a fresh quid from his tobacco-box, to show his independence^, Whereupon the young lady took out a dainty box, " took a chew," amid the applause of the guests, and ordered the clergyman to go ahead. This was too much for the bridegroom, who fled the scene, leaving the girl triumphant, with a piece of liquorice m her mouth.

An Indian named " Man Afraid of Nothing " married a white woman m Montanya recently, and one week after the wedding applied to his tribe to have his name changed. —Bismarck Tribune.

An engaged couple having appeared several times before a clergyman to get married, who on each occasion declined to perform the ceremony because the groom was invariably drunk, at last reproved the girl for bringing her lover before him m suoh a condition, whereupon she burst into tears, and said: " But, sir, he won't come when he's sober/ 1 '

14 So Mrs. Jones' brother is dead," said Gossip No. Ito Gossip No. 2. "So I hear," " Will she go into mourning ? " 41 1 understand she will wear half mourning." " How is that ? " " Why, you see it ia only her half brother. " — Marathon Independent.

44 How do you like the new minister, Mary ? " "I think he's just too sweet." 44 Preaches eloquent sermons? " 41 1 don't lmow ; our pew 's too far back to hear well, but he called the other evening while pa and ma were away, and said he was going to restore one of the customs of .the earlier church." "Did he give yon any idea of what it was?" 44 Oh, yes ; he gave it to me several times." 44 What did he call it?" 14 The holy kiss."

"My sou," said an old negro, "now dat you's outen de penitentiary, try ter keep out, nn' alter dis, doan steal, leastwise doan do lack yer did befo', steal a pair o' boots ffafc was too big fur yeself an' too little for yer old laddy. Ef yer kaint pick up suthin' dat'll ■Xo yer some good try an be nones'." — Texas liftings.