News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 120, 16 April 1884, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

' Do you think,' asked a college student of a professor of theology, * that the lion and lamb 'have eVer • yet lain, down to* getber?' 'I; don't know,' ' answered the professor ; * but if they have ho doubt the Limb was missing from that date.' t , j A confirmed Old/ bachelor out at a social gathering the other evening,' where he was go unfortunate as to.become.seaied behind a party of vivacious ; y6u'n^'laclie'B.* Conversation turned upon' 1 athletic subjects, when one pert young miss inquired ; ' Mr BrtJwn, what is your- faVonteftxdfr^ cisc V ' Oh J I -have no preference v botjuot at present I shovld prefer aomb belle?,' was his rather curt reply. Harry Erskine who succeeded Henry ; Dundas, after Lord Melville, as Lord ' Advocate of Scotland, happening to have "a female client of the name of Tickle, defendant m aaotion, commenced his speech m the following humorous strain • ?<Tiekle, my client, the defendant, my lord.' The auditors, amused with the oddity of the. speech, were almost driven into hysterics* by the judge replying :' Tickle her yWnr* self, Harry. You are as able 3 toxioat as I.' : ;.: ■ .. r :vv . '-. No excuse. —An absent-minded Austin Justice of the Peace, whose customers are principally inebriates who are brought before his Court, was called ~on to marry a couple. He did not make any mistake until he asked this bride ijf ehe took the groom to her wedded husband. ! : I dt).» ( And what are the mitigating circnmF stances, if any?' inquired the ; abaen^ minded ( Justice. • ■ r • ,. ,01 Growing madder, — When the i Arch* bishop was one day engaged, m his gar-, dening operations, a, companion referred,, among other matters, -to the great revolution m the medical treatment of lunatics' introduced by pinel, whby instead of the 1 , strait waistcoat, and otli9r maddening godas, awarded to each patient healthy ful and agreeable occupation, including agriculture and gardening. ' I think gar* dening would be a dangerous indulgence for lunatics,' observed Dr. Whately. * How so?' said bis' fritnd, surprised: 'Becaiise they might grow madder,' was theWty Rejoinder. :',...■ . „, ' Messrs Greenwood, & Sod, Dent^t§r Wanganui, Registered under the X&fWial Colonial Acts.Dentistry m all its branches. Mr Oreenwood brings with ' Jn'ip all ftfce* tlie requisite apparatus fob administering Nitrous Oxide -Craa for; the pajalesi e£;. traction of te.eth, , .iTpxt' visit "to Palraeratonpnthursdaj $Hh May, (Walk* ley's Hotel;)— advt, '