News in a Nutshell

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 25, 28 December 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell

...In money matters,' said a miserly old fellow, 'treaty strangers as though they were your relatives.' When Fogg was asked regarding the latest additions to the English language he; «afti he -would asV his wife. She* always, bad the last word. (When. Henuy. was courting ; Sarah be U|«d to i boast that he had aj 1» boss' girl • now that he is married he finds that he' has a 'boss wife: but heneyer mentions 1.. Five thousand broom-handles a day are made m aj certain township 'out West' remarks an American paper, and the mkr» ned males never stay out later -than niue o'clock. ! j-f r , 'No more reflections, please/, said the lookingrglass after it had tumbled down the staire. A magazine is; speculating as 'to • the kind of clothes ghosts wear.' We always supposed they wore spirit wrappers.' 'I say,' cried a fashionable voufch to an old usurer, « the ready is needful.* * Yes * cried the other, 'but the needful isn't ready.' . It was a son : of Erin who . asked the meeting to exoosebim for serving on a committee asj he expeefcod to be call ttn« expecfcedly eway. , . • What ia the, worst thing about, riches Pasked a Sunday-ichool teacher. * Their scarcity ,' replied a boy ; and he was imme» diately awarded a chromo. It is said that th* man who will make a pun will pick a pocket. He is not so bad* however, as the man who steals his puna instead of making them. ;... .! P Vff Qnib * ll s people. thatilive en other folks?' 'Yes,, my dear.'. .'Then, pa, Uncle Sharpwita must be a cannibal, for m a says he's always living on some* body,'