SATURDAY NIGHT.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 211, 11 August 1883, Page 2

SATURDAY NIGHT.

THE FIRESIDE. < Now, then, the first boy of the Gram, mar class stand np-* First boy stands ud ,bla*uic. f Here. I be, _ir.' Examiner -r 4 Well, my good boy, can you tell me what vowels are?' « Ess, of course I can ' ' Examiner-T ell me, then, what are vowels ? First boy (grmnini? at the simplicity of the question)-? Vowls, 'air l Why, yowls be chickens.' The most apaUing cue of deafness that we ever, came across outside of an asylum was that of an old lady who lives, across the street from the arsenal yard On a royal birthday they fired a salute of 2i puns. The old l«dy was observed to start wad listen as the last gun was fired, and then exclaimed, * Corhe in.' Somebody asked Baron Rothschild to take vension. 'No,' said the Baron • I -never eatsh wenshon j I d.m't tink it jk_> so coot as mutton-' 'Oh/. said the BaroS friend, 'l wonder at yonr savin* so- if vension is not better than mutton, why does vension cost so much more ?' •Yv ' replied the Baron, • I |vill tell >_„ T * dia varld de people always prefresh vat is deer to vat is sheep.'. - « That's what beats me,!;" soliloquized slippy h07 > -^ gaZ9d «■ W. m£ The Philadelphia TimeTsiya the Ne„ York girls are noted because they know how to dress. Then why don't theyjc, ' Yes,' said the wood dealer, ' I pre f er to sell wood to men who do thai; own^aw in* You can't convince ama„X h L js"iaa^v^- *'*-*« The title of the lesson was '• The T??-J, ' Youn, man,' and ; «„ golden Te.t w a9 One thing thou lackest.' A teachwfr! the primary class asked a little tot fnV peat rhejtwo, and looking e^nectlv in £ the young lady's face the ch?!dl£d thing thou ii^^"^ nlitd P to°^ anre - Bidinff at Gr^nockap. plied to the magistrate tho other da v to. have two of his children admitfc Jon thi T rr °\ %™™»y bav-Vou^t the worthy Baillie. ♦ Five-and,LJ? sir,,' replied the petitioned "kJ^-ST* l; n l7f Oh, no, sir,' replied the poor man, • I am wearing the fbnrfch V An Irish journal say* the following bill was present^ by a farrier: 'To curini your pony th« died yesterday, £1 1_ ff Scene— Public-house parlor. Dramati, Persons -Benefit Society CommK F.r 3 t committee-man, angrily ;■ I risß t* f pint o» order,'- Second °coi^i£^ drily' : « £ r i 8e tae order a pint.' * Inductive reasoning. vr r ' \rr ; , r Doodle : < Yes, Miss Frost, lal waw itS gloves Ht ni<-ht;they ma^S JT so soft.' Mias Frost : "Ah f and dn d 3 sleep with your hat on r * d ° y ° u A housekeeper aaka :— « What i« »i._. &&&&£££ P*n£r y f or a few m j_ ufceg 00 * "P.m the Now, boys, when I as fc you a auestmn you musen't be afrdd to 4ak S o u ? and answer me. When you 1,3 J and see all the fine houses f ir kloand cattle, do you ever think rt m 8 allnowl' Vourfa thet cTwn IT they notl* * les sir • Vi.«Tj beai ' do drunkards louneui aro,.hs ,1, ,c ? "">• will they be m twenty year* ft} y^ her^ 1 Dead !' ' And who Lh ? m **" ? ards then ?' 'Us boys ™ _k 5e the drQnk * I bashed vonnsters 78i Bno *°d the u naii