MISCELLANEOUS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume IV, Issue 216, 18 April 1873, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Wilftjl Ignorance Rebuked.—ln one of his first law cases General Butler said, in the usual way, when the case was called, " Let notice be given." "In what paper ?" asked the venerable clerk. "In the •'Lowell Advertiser,' " said Butler, selecting a local paper detested by the party to which the clerk and judges belonged. There! was a pause. " ' The Lowell Advertiser !' " said the clerk restraining his feelings; " I don't know such a paper." " Pray, Mr. Clerk," said Butler, " Don't begin telling the Court what you don't know, or there will be no time for anything else."—' Monthly Magazine. 5 A trout weighing lOlbs., and four years old, was taken in the Maitai river, IST elson, the other day, where it was exhibited to admiring visitors at the shop of .MrJackson, . bootmaker. This interesting visitor was trodden upon by a horse crossing the ford, to which simple accident we are indebted for this proof of the success of the Acclimatisation Society's efforts.— TSTortheim Paper. _ The prospects of the Provincial Executive are improving. _ Numerous defections from the Opposition party are reported, and it is pretty certain that during the session faction Opposition will not meet with the approval of the members of the. Council. Most of the members are sick of the wretched squabbles, log-rolling and party ambitions which have hitherto- disgraced the Council, and have resolved for the future not to permit the business of the Province to be impeded, or its interests sacrificed to save the private ends of individuals. The " responsible Government " found in Provincial Councils is about played out; any set of men that will honestly administer the affairs of the Province; will command the. support of the sensible portion of the Council. —' Tuapeka Times.' ' J Although the open season commenced on the Ist of April, we have not heard of any great sport having obtained amongst the native game in this neighborhood. We understand, however, that some very good bags have been secured. At the end of the week, when some sportsmen (?) were about, a fine old gander, belonging to a gentleman in the immediate neighborhood suddenly and "mysteriously disappeared, and all search to find him dead or alive has proved unavailing.. His mate came home the, other day in a maimed state, aid bore marks of shot in the head and various parts of the body. On Saturday, we are informed, two .keen sportsmen belonging to the township had been out all day along the river banks iu search of game, but finding nothing they left for home again in disgust. On passing through Mr. G-eorge Elder Brown's property, their dog suddenly gave the usual indications of being in the immediate neighborhood of game. Walking up stealthily, a fine bird was observed amongst the native grass, and to make sure of their mark our sportsmen (?) gave the bird no time to take wing but dropped it as it stood. Both sportsmen and dog rUshed forward and picked it up —a fine fat rooster ! The owner—the Chinese gardener —speedily discovered. the fate of his fowl, and- it is said our quasi sportsmen will have to pay pretty, smartly for their questionable mistake.— e Bruce Herald.'

Some one remarking that the dinner hour was always getting later and later, " Ay," quoth Bam Rogers, "it will -soon end in-our not dining till to-morrow." A complacent editor announces that " several deatlis are unavoidably delayed till next week." Sir P. Dillon Bell, the Speaker of the House of-[Representatives, has intimated to Ms constituents his intention of addressing them on' political matters in a few weeks. Here is some plain language addressed to Nebraska husbandmen by the editor of a local journal:—Farmers it is your own fault if you do not get what you want from our Legislature, because you send men who will waste weeks in the expenditure ot political buncombe* and who lack the wit or energy to put even any good law in force on our statue books. Why grumble, then ? Let us do what we can with those we have placed in high places. Mr. Baird, Receiver ol Gold field Revvenue, took up his quarters in the new Court-house last week. The furniture and fittings have been supplied by Mr. James Taylor, builder, and although the original specification was greatly modified with a view to economy, the materials are of excellent quality, and the workmanship is faultless. The old " dog-kennel" is to be removed from its present site and reerected along-side the new building, where it will be used as a well Argus.' " Pray, sir," said Lady Wallace to David Hume, " I am often asked what age I am ; what answer should I make ?" Mr. Hut?:e, immediately guessing her Ladyship's meaning, said, "Madam, when you are asked that question again, answer that you are not yet come to the years of discretion." .

Mr. Stanley received a rather demonstrative reception from the jtnill-girls .at Paisley. Two tliousand of them surrounded the explorer, who "was in the end glad to escape to his carriage. A dilemma. —While a country parson was preaching, the chief of his parishioners, sitting near the pulpit, was fast asleep; whereupon lie said, "]>7ow, beloved " friends, lamin a great strait; for if I speak too softly, those at the farther end of "the Church cannot hear me, and if I talk too loud, I shall wake'the chief man in the parish." In the obituary notice of a lady the editor wrote : —"lt is feared that her husband will not be able to bear Jier demise" —which the careless compositor, with but a change of two letters, transformed to, "it is feared that her husband will not be - able to wear her chemise." The horror of the bereaved husband, and of the editor, and of the mjurning relatives, may be imagined. A Highlander was tried for a capital offence, and had rather a narrow escape ; but the jury found him " Isfot guilty." Whereupon the judge, in discharging hirn,. thought fit to admonisii him. " Prisoner,before you leave this bar, let me give you a piece of advice. You have got off thistime, but if you ever _ come before me again I'll be caution (surety) you'll be hanged." " Thank you, my lord," an-, swered t)onald, "thank you for your good advice; and, as I'm no ungratefu', I beg to gie your lordship a piece o' advice in return. Never be caution for onybodv, for the cautioner has often to pay tlie pen--alty." ; The Cltjtha Saces. —-The following are tlie nominations : —Handicap-—'Wildboy, 9st; Kawarau, Bst.9lb ; Little Bst 81b ; Empress, 7st 21b ; Catapult, 7st 21b; Rosin a, 7st 21b; Saladin, 6st 81b : Misfe Howe, 6st 41b. Elying Handicap —Wildboy, 9st 21b ; Little Nell, Bst 101b ; Empress, 7st 4ib ; Catapult, 7st 41b ; Ilosina,. 7st 41b ; Homeo, Bst 101b; Miss Bowe, 6st 61b. The' General Government ai'e callingfor tenders for the construction of the . railway between Tokomairiro and Lawrence —a distance of twenty-two miles. In tlie [Resident Magistrate's Court, G-rahamstown, on the 14th April inst., Henry James Lee. Secretary of the LoyalWaikato Lodge of Oddfellows, charged with embezzling the Lodge funds, was discharged the Trustees declining to swear an information against him. The defalcations are alleged to c-xceed £IOO. Sir E. D. Bell addressed his constituents at Invercargill on the evening of the 14th April inst. A motion of confidence | was followed by an amendment to the I effect that he did not deserve the confidence of the: electors, in consequence .of. his supporting the Fox-Vogel Ministry. The show'of hands was claimed by both sides. The Chairman sat down in despair, and when half the people had left the hall —prompted by someone else —he rose .and declared the original motion carried. Thomas Luther Shepherd, M.P.C. and M.H.H., intends to address his constituents ac an early date. . The Government will take steps to enforce the full penalties against Mr. Webb. Wb have to acknowledge the receipt of Dr. Copland's lectures on " The Phenomena ofSpirifrualisrn/' which are now issued in pamphlet form. Osr Saturday last as a team of seven fine draught horses harnessed to a waggon were being driven about the town without reins, for the purpose of showing their tractability previous to being put up to auction, they suddenly bolted in a northerly direction along the north road, knocking a lamp post down near Thompson's hoarding house, and afterwards proceeding at a mad pace as far as Le Oren's gully, where they fell; the waggon, with the impetus that was upon it, going right over the fallen animals. There were also two horses tied behind the waggon,-which, after one of them had been dragged for a considerable distance, broke loose. After the' horses had been extricated from their entanglement, it was found that they were all more or less injured, and one mare was so cut about the chest that her wounds had to be sewn up. The unfortunate accident mi'it;>.ted against the sale of those horses afterwards put up to auction, the badly injured ones being withdrawn. The accident arose from a stupid bit of bravado on the part of the driver, and will let us hope, be in future a warning to lvim and others.—Timaru Herald.' • An effort is being made to "raise fund4>f6r the establishment, of one or more scholarships, of not less value than. £3O "a-year, -for the ladies attending the University classes, -The pamphlet circulated by the friends of this movement as the expression of the views they hold, is drawn up by L. W. Dalrymple, of Port Chalmers. The view taken is'a high one, being no less than an attempt to fit women to fulfil the duties of life. Women's rights, votes, &c., find no encouragement—the motto of education instilled being "To fit the individual to realise the path of duty.." The intellectual giants of English history have been so often brought up and influenced by mothers of more than ordinary ability, that we may almost found a rulS that the Australasian Colony,of the future, whose women are the truest and ablest, will take the. lead and keep it.