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Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 194, 15 November 1872, Page 3

. Considerate.—A man being awakened by,t- e captain of. a passenger boat with the announcement that be must not occupy his berth w'th bis boots on, considerately replied, " Oh it won't hurt 'em—they're an old pair." A G-eorgia coloured preacher during a funeral sermon lately said : —" He niminates no longer among us ; he have exonorated from the syllogisms of this world's discrimination, and when he get to de cold dry streem of the Eiver Jordia, the Kerosines and' Periphens will meet him dare to row him over on dry land to the silvestering.city." ..The'Detroit Post"* is responsible for the following : —A young man asked, a young lady her age, and she replied : ,f 9 times 7 and 7 times 3 added to my age will exceed 6 times 9 and 4, as double my age exceeds 20." The young man said she looked much older. Now what is her age ? That's the question. "What time is it my dear?" asked a wife of her husband, whom sne suspected of being drunk, but who was doing his best to look sober. " Well, ihy darling, I can't tell, 'cause, .you see" here are two hands on my watch, and each points to a different figure, and I don't know which to believe."

"Look here, squire, where was yeou born ?" said a persistent Yankee to a five minute's acqaintance. 'I was born," said the victim, "in Boston, Tremontstreet, JSTo.. 44, left-hand side, on the first .day of August,' 1810, at five o'clock in the afternoon; physician, Dr. Warrens; nurse, Sally Benjamin"' Yankee was answered completely, For a moment he was stuck. Soon however, his face brightened, and he •quickly replied, "Yaes : wa'al, I calculate you don't recollect whether "it was a frame or brick house, dew ye ?" The late Lord Justice-Clerk Hope was down shooting in Ayrshire, and happened to trespass on the'field of a very plainspoken farmer ; he was' walking among the honest man's turnips, whereupon the farmer caDed upon him to turn out of that, as he had no right to be there.. " Eight here !" said the Justice-Clerk, "Do you know, sir, who lam ?" —" No," was the reply, " and what's more, I don't care/' " I am, sir," said the judge, the Lord Justice-Clerk."—" Ye may be anybody's clerk ye like," was the retort, but. ye must not get among my neeps 1"