HONE ON GOLF

Manawatu Herald, Volume L, Issue 3941, 11 May 1929, Page 2

HONE ON GOLF

“Ever played golf, Hone ?” we asked our genial copper-coloured old friend as he eyed n hag of clubs lying in a corner of the sanctum. “No, I dunno pout tis —what you call gouph —-golloph.” No, Hone, golf —g-o-l-f. Hone then handled each club and seemed puzzled. What te use tis ting, anyhow 1 '? What you do wit it? We then explained the uses of the various clubs and showed Hone the little ball which was used and informed him that the player who sped it on its way to the various holes with the least number of strokes was the winner.

Hone gazed at the outfit and said: Py kripe! You pakelia phelletr te bally limit. You show te Maori how to play pilliard, snooker, pool, cricket, football and two-up wit te pennies —tat te best game and ie fastest run I ever make when te hobby chase me! Now you got te noo game, te werry silly game —hit te little ball and chase ft all round te paddock,” and Hone 1 a ugh ed uproa viously. We explained that the game was played by both sexes and provided healthy exercise.

Te wahine play too? said Hone becoming interested. Jus like football eh? te full-pack, te tree-quar-ter, te half, te forward, te serum te goal post te barrack and te bally row after wit te referee? Oh, no Hone. Nothing like that. We then endeavoured to enlighten Hone as to the methods of play and the technical terms. When we referred to the “tee,” Hone’s eyes glistened. Tat worry good! Ewery time you put le hall in te hole you trink te ten and hat te kai —kapai! kapai. Tat te pholler —1 tin'k I play te goff! Wo had to disohuse Hone’s retted ions in this connection, likewise his suggestion that beer should he substituted for tea! Hone’s sudden outburst of enthusiasm for the game then cooled. Casually he asked: - What te ooniform te player we air ? We got as far as mentioning a jersey which Hone confused with a cow and he wanted to know what part this gentle bovine took in the game.

We substituted “pull-over” for “jersey” and got on to “plus fours.” The mention of these netlion garments tickled Hone immensely.

Now I know. All te same te pakelia wahine wear te short skirt — to show te skinny leg. Tat it. Only te man and wahine wit te skinny leg play goff. No good to Hone — kapai football. Ha ere ra! Mitta Edita,