HONE ON CURRENT TOPICS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 1729, 23 June 1917, Page 3

HONE ON CURRENT TOPICS.

Hullo, Hone! I’m real pleased to see you again. What’s wrong? Werra, Mitta Editor, 1 peen worry had wit te roomat. Mitta Patty, te chemist, he been pad to roomat, too, and, py kripe! te toctor he been pad. Werra, 1 larp when I see to toctor, he look like to return soldier, isn’t it? I take all te medicine you get te talk about in te noospaper—-no bally good! Only make me worse, and say te bad word to te missus and te kids. You’ll soon be alright, Hone. I notice you have been speculating in a new hat. It makes you look quite smart. Yes, tat’s right. Kapai te po(ae! I been Parr’s sale. He got te worry cheap taonga. But te potae newer make Hone feel alright inshido! When you go to te push you see te pig tree wit te prenty leaf on te top, but when you chop it down all rotten inshide. Werra, tat jus like Hone; got It 1 new top, but. I tink no good inshide! A very good figure, Hone! J durmo. 1 terra you I see George Kore on Wednesday afternoon, just by Motuiti. He ask it mo for 1e ride in te trap wit te ole wonian. Py kripe! he got (<■ scratch on te face. 1 terra George ho get te smash up in te motor ear. He say, ‘‘No (am fear, te bally rawyer!” i ask George what he light wit tc rawyer for? He larp and say he jus come out te Round Bush wit to Council ami te noospaper chap. He say te rawyer get te blood tis time, but to pakeha rawyer get tc bally boot! Ten George he give te missus te cigarette and terra me he got no 1 more. I say what te Council go to te |insh for ? He say te Harbour Board newer want to bush, and he going to swap for te piece of hind helonga to Council, so te Foxton people can go there to-hap te tangi. But te Council he must haf te rook first. Tat te way he go there. He say, “lat fc other pheller coming across (e paddock —all worry tired. 1 terra George I pleased to Council get te push, pceanse lie pelong my graridl'adder and te Board newer pay for it. George terra, me f te pally luimabtig, te push helonga to his grand fa ddei*, Captain Cook, and he gif my grandfadder to pranket and one poaka for it. Ten he wink te missus. I tink George te hard ease. I terra George he can shout for me and te missis for te ride. He say, “te devil, Hone; can’t shout now! We got te te ” “The Anti-shouting regulation, Hone.”

Yes, tat it, te anti-shouting vegratin. Py kripe! tat make me larp —te anti-sbouting regratin! Tat mean when Hone go te pub, be got to pay 1W bis own trink, and George lie pay for bis! Te antishoiiting I'egi'alin te lially humbug, and te Gowerment lie only foul le prohibition pheller. Five pholler go in for (e Irink —all get his trink —te small beer, 1c slutudy-gaff, te treestripe. to remonade-sarpara. \\ erra, nobody pay, only te tiarman be find (e lialf-erown on te counter belonga to nobody, and be lake it. Tat le way! 1 know! “That’s a very ingenious evasion of the law, Hone. You pet! It te Gowerment want to stoj) te trink, why he try to stop (e leak in te pipe wit soap? Tat no good. Te best way to do it if le Gowerment cut off te main and no leak. Soap for the leak newer stop it ! Never mind, llono, the people tire now demanding early closing. They are asking the Government to shut up the liars at six o'clock every night, and that will restrict the sale of liquor very considerably. Sick crock closing no good, only more soap for te leak! Te chap can go (<• pub pefore sick crock and buy tree, four bottles and take away. Tat newer stop him drink te waipiro. But suppose (lie Government won’t allow the sale of liquor for eoiisnuimption off the promises, Hone I terra you te publican te worry kind man, and he gif te waipiro to his friend lake home for te siek wahine, (esick baby, te siek grandfaddef, jus le same! 1 pel you le sack spuds In k* peanut be get te trink - jus te same. All te regret in te bally liumbug! If te waipiro good for te yuan —make him maroro (strong), work, and buy te clothes for le kid, buy le uou house, le noo dress for te wahine, haf to holiday, buy le motor ear, send te kid to eorrige, beat te Chermaii, den ewery body trink te waipiro! If lie don’t do it —to horra wit te waipiro! No good te Gowerment stop te leak wit te soap! You’re a philosopher,-Hone. 1 duimo tat pheller, put I see you again. Kia bra!