“HOWLERS”

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 1679, 27 February 1917, Page 1

“HOWLERS”

WHAT THE POPE CALLED HENRY THE EIGHTH.

The new issue of Hie University Correspondent contains an amusing collection of schoolboy “howlers.” Among them are the following ; Walter Scott was imprisoned in the Tower because he could not pay his debts; while there he wrote the 'Waverier Novels, hut he was afterwards burnt alive; he also brought tobacco from Virginnia, so called after his beloved mistress Queen Elizabeth. .Inna's I. claimed the Throne of England through Hi is grandmother, because he had no father. The attempts at colonisation in Elizabeth's reign were that Raleigh brought smoking into England and had a buckel of cold water thrown on him, and Drake discovered potatoes round the world and planted them in Lancashire. Henry the First’s son William was drowned in the While Ship and never smiled again. Lambert Sinmel was defeated at Stoke and sent to roast in the king’s kitchen. The Pope called Henry VIII. “Fido the Offensive.” Joan of Arc lived in the French Revolution, and one day she fell into the arms of the English and got burnt. Chihli! Herald was defeated by William the Compteror at the battle of Hastings. By eating slowly, food is digested before it is swallowed and thus enriches the blood, which goes down one leg and up (he other. Things which are impossible are eijiial to one another. The present Primate of England is Mr Lloyd George. Poetry is a thing you make prose out of. The laws are made by Lloyd George, or else by the policemen. The Daylight Saving Act shortened the day by an hour. The speaker did not expect ironclad cheers. When a drunken man sees what a fool he has been, and is going to turn over a new leaf, he is called a Reformer. John Wyeliff was a Reformer.