HONE’S PHILOSOPHY.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1479, 30 November 1915, Page 3

HONE’S PHILOSOPHY.

“Hulloa, Hone, back again ?”

“Been werry busy, Mita Edita, mustering and looking after te lambs for Wiri Renton out on Barber’s run. Py kripe, Wiri te alright chap, he breakia’ his neck go to te war. He ins’ like te Maori warrior in te ole time, when he once been in te fight he want some more. Werra, tis te funny weather, isn’t it? Just like te weather when my great grandfather Noah sail In te ark. Noah te best admiral, isn’t it?’’ “Yes, he was a very far-seeing man, Hone.” “I tink Foxton soon be all te same London.’’ “Why, Hone ?” “Werra, te Borough Council gettiu’ ready for te' tram car and put down te tar. My boy read in yonr paper te tar to keep te dust away. I larp te werry big iarp. I see te sand blow in te shops and te man throwing it all te same. I ask Harry Coley what for te big rangitira on te Council put on te tar. He say te Council want te gas .works to pay, and 6d te gallon too little for te tar, and better trow It on te road. Doctor Mandl he say kapai te smell for te whoopin’ cough. Mitta Woodroofe he say to keep te fly from te meat. Anyhow, I tink te Council save some to paint te young feller because he won’t go te war.”

“What do you think about the war now, Hone?” ‘‘l werry sorry te little tribe Serbia. I tink be get broke up. But Ino like te Greece. He te bally humbug alright. He got te two face —one for Kitchener, one for te Kaiser—and he just like te tuna (.eel), werry slippery. Te best way for Kitchener to do, put te sand on his hands and hold him, and if he wriggle put te spear through te tail.” ‘T see te price of flour go down now, Mitta Edita, and wool go up. But te ole woman no like to pay big price lor te bread. I tell te ole woman better he start te bread shop and sell te bread 4d loaf cash and let ewery body take it home.” “What about meat, Hone ?” “Oh, I kill te young sheep, not te ole one. I sell te ole one te butcher, and get te good money ewery time. One feller tell me he taste it and it just like te puffalo.” “I say, Mitta Edita, when you make te prohib order against Hone, he can’t get te beer. But I see te odder feller wit te prohib, and be trunk about te street, and he got te soldier coat on ? He newer go to te lock-up, but if Hone do that he go to gaol and fine £2, No good one law for te pakeha when he get drunk and another for te Maori, isn’t it? I go in te train te other day, and two men talking, and another man drunk. One man say he travel all over te world—he see ewerytiug. Te drunk man say, ‘You ever had te dee tee?’ and te udder feller say, ‘No !’ Te drunk man larp, and he say, ‘You seen nothing !’ By ktipe, I larp. “Werra, must go now, Mitta Edita. You see, I got te noo watch from Mitta Gold a. He want me to buy te alarm dock. I tell him Ite married man. He want te alarm clock, isn’t it? Kia ora.”