HOW I TRIED TO SKATE.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXII, Issue 887, 3 September 1910, Page 2

HOW I TRIED TO SKATE.

The following has been handed to us for publication and should interest those who have acquired the art of roller skating ; “THE EXPERIENCES OF A NIGHT WATCHMAN. “To pass the long hours away I thought I would learn to skate, so I sat on a bale of fibre and got ’em on and gave myself a good start and off I went. Them bloomin’ rollers went full speed ahead. Oh my head ! I must have been going about a hundred miles a minute when the bloomin’ floor rose up and hit me on the top of my cranium, and I fancied I was shot up into the milky way. I seemed to be amongst the planets and comets sailing round the moon. Although the blow had put my top lights out I could see more lights than I ever saw before. There were the lights of other days, the northern lights and southern lights, satelites, skylights and twilights, rushlights and fanlights, but hang my lights if I could see the light I left behind me, I seemed to be rushing through nothing when I saw a fellow Wrigling along with a Staple, and by Shults he was going by Hooker or crooker to drive it Into what seemed to be a danger Signal, which seemed to ease my aching head and I realised I was bump up against a Kellow corner post and the skates half-way up to where the ceiling should be. So the next time I think I will start on the ceiling and travel around like a blow-fly, and now I am going to rub some Stevenson liniment Jon the lid of my knowledge box, as the hairs are standing up like skittles after someone has had about three shies at them. The blow has raised a dint in my nut that will take a lot of rubbing out, which will keep me busy till sunlight. I remain your old tea, toast and butter.—E.J.M.”