GENERALITIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 399, 18 June 1908, Page 4

GENERALITIES.

A Frenchman can claim more accidents than perhaps any other man. He commenced by injuring both hands in a circular saw; then, in turn, he broke both shin bones, fractured two ribs, broke both arms, crushed one foot and fractured his skull. What is believed to be a record in potato-digging has just been established in South Canterbury, a young man named George Joyce, an ex-contingenter, having dug and bagged unaided, 33 sacks ot potatoes in one day, from 8.15 a.m. to 5.15 p.m. Wharanga Hanga, a Maori, with a decidedly celestial cast of countenance, gorgeously attired in a red and white football guernsey, entered the dock at the Supreme Court, Auckland, the other morning, apparently in a very optimistic frame of mind, to receive his sentence for the crime of forgery and uttering. A long list of previous convictions notwithstanding, prisoner confidently asked for probation —three years, no less. “If your Honor grants it,” he smilingly added, “ I do not think you will have me before you again.” “ Probably I shall not,” commented his Honor Mr Justice Edwards, “but not in the way you think.” Whare’s optimism was changed to pessimism in one fell swoop as he walked dejectedly from the dock to ruminate on the mountain for the next two years. —Star.

At the Hikuangi Hall near Whaugarei, during a performance of “ Wedded, But no Wife ” by the Phil Walsh Company the other night, a large oil lamp suspended from the roof fell into the auditorium and burst into flames. A panic along the audience was only averted by the strong action of the members of the company, who exhorted the audience to keep their seats. The flames were smothered with considerable difficulty. The cause of the collapse was alterwards found to be the suspending ring of the lamp having burnt right through the woodwork. Fortunately no one was injured, although the dresses of several ladies in the front seats suffered considerably through the scattered oil. None of the doors in the hall opened outwards, and those who tried to leave got jambed in the exits. There were about 200 people in the hall at the time. A gay young Tothario in Hunterville recently gave out that he and a few ladies were about to give a surpiise party. He did so without naving first consulted the ladies, who were rather indignant and decided to carry out the joke to their male acquaintance’s discomfiture. They therefore pretended to enter heartily into the matter and having supplied him with a tin containing edibles and a roll of music sent him ahead to await their arrival at the gale of the residence they intended visiting. An hour rolled by, but there was no appearance of the fair sex, and the young man naturally became impatient. Two ladies wheeling perambulators came towards the gate. He rushed up and remarked, “ Now girls, no larks, what kept you?” He was again doomed to disappointment, and made up his mind to constitute hirasef the surprise party. He entered the house and prepared to act in the hospitable manner usually attendant on surprise parties. He opened the tin, but, alas ! it was filled with broken crockery, and when that supposed roll of music came undone the climax arose—it was a dummy roll. If anyone says ‘‘surprise party” in that young man’s presence you can hear the blushes cracking, says an exchange. An individual bearing the unfortunate name of Kain made a cannibal attack on a man at Waereug-a-hika the other night. Gisborne Times says that Kain, who is evidently a seafaring man, and was much the worse for liquor, got into an altercation with a man named Hainslej'. In a struggle which ensued Hainsley’s finger was badly bitten by his assailant, whose teeth went clean through the nail and flesh. The police were at once informed of the assault, and Constable Dandy was despatched to the scene. On arrival he arrested Hainsley’s assailant, and conveyed him on horseback to the local police cells.