GENERALITIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 389, 26 May 1908, Page 4

GENERALITIES.

The American fleet did not greatly impress Captain Swan, of the tramp steamer Otterburn, which arrived in Australia recently after coaling the fleet. “ The crews comprise men of a good type,” he remarked, ‘‘but the navy of the United States is not like the British Navy—it is too free and easy. I believe I am within the mark when I say that fully 50 per cent, of the sailors are boys who have never been to sea before. Yes, half the combined crews have never seen a ship before they started on this great cruise- They are good lads —very intelligent, I daresay—but they are not sailors.”

The following unique application for a slaughtering license has been received by a clerk of a local body in Taranaki” Herewith I enclose postal note for 10s, not for you to boose up as you generally do, but to buy me a nice brandnew slaughter-license as the old one is getting worn-out and it takes me all my time to slaughter at all with it.”

An entertainment was given at a lunatic asylum, where many lunatics whose insanity was slight, and which related only to some special subject, were admitted. In the conversation which ensued during a break in the evening, a lunatic with a thick red neck was heard to say in mournful tones: “Is there anything worse than a giraffe with a sore throat.” To his astonishment a venerable madman replied, saying in words broken at intervals with stifling sobs, “ Yes, a centipede with chilblains.”

An English newspaper recently invited a discussion in its columns on “ What type of woman does a manlike best?” and a writer in the Argus has summarised the correspondence that ensued. The result was most successful, for during several weeks the question evidently absorbed a large number of readers, who rushed to express their views. One opinion largely shared was that a man is hardly capable of realising the type of woman he likes best before he is 40. In most cases this is too late, and it therefore only remains for him to put up with the woman he has.

Five years ago a Paris doctor obtained a divorce from his wife, who deserted her home and her three children to elope with another man. The doctor recently received an appointment as one of the visiting physicians at a public sanatorium 20 miles from Paris. A few days afterwards, while he was examining new patients, a wan, consumptive woman, still young and with traces of past good looks, was brought into his consulting room. The doctor looked at the woman, and recognised her as his divorced wife. The woman turned pale and trembled violently, but the doctor gave no sign of recognition and quietly prescribed for her. Eater he went to the ward occupied by his wife, and had a long conversation with 1 her. Reconciliation followed, and the woman has left for the Swiss mountains in the company of the doctor and her eldest son, to be nursed back to health.

A former resident of New Zealand writing from Johannesburg on April sth to a member of the staff of the Lyttelton Times, says: —‘ ‘ Things here are gradually settling down and getting sounder. Of course, the financial stringency is really the result of an artificial condition of things. The gold mines spend in the Transvaal about annually, and our white population does not exceed 400,000. The Rand is suffering from over speculation, and the farming districts have not fully recovered from the effects of the war. They are however, steadily increasing their flocks and herds, and bringing more land into cultivation. If New Zealanders owned this country it would be one of the most prosperous on earth.”

A high school boy brought perfect spelling papers home for several weeks, and then suddenly began to miss five or six out of ten. ‘‘How’s this, my son?” asked his father. 14 Teachers fault,” replied the boy. “ How is it the teacher’s fault?” ■ “He moved the little boy that sat next tome.”