THE COMING MAYORALTY CONTEST.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXIX, Issue 3762, 21 March 1907, Page 3

THE COMING MAYORALTY CONTEST.

1 To the Ddltor. SIR| —Knowing that you are very jlad to print items of news in voir paper about things that happeiji in the town, I send you the following particulars of a meeting of prqninent identities to settle who s|ould stand as Mayor for the coming year. “ Billy’s ” friends were nirly numerous and Billy himself looked charmimg, as the “ afterioon tea set ” say. He wore alcoat, not like Joseph’s of many colours—but of spotlessly white material, save for a few spots ofironmould; 1 no waistcoat, a prettily - patterned shirt and coloured handkerchief, and lovely new incleskin trousers with seams down tl|e centre and the smell of freshneS still upon them, fastened below tie knees. His beard was well grcpmed, and his classic brow shone ii the candlelight. Truly he was si “ joss ”, among us. Anyone coula pick him as the coming Mayor! ! In fact “ Harry ” with his digits sticking out of his waistcoat, sai? it was a “ hundred up ’’ “ Shaddy ” couldn’t live with him. Didn’t jou hear his address at the Railkray Station last Saturday night wlien the band got jealous and started to play ? and if it hadn’t bien for the kettle-drum-mer, ‘ Biliy ’ would have held the crowd,” said Old Harry. Anyhow ‘ ‘ Acquarius ’ ’ moved “that it is the opinion ot this meeting that ‘Billy’ is the best man offeijng for the Mayoralty and that evetyone present be a committee put him in.” Then there vas a terrible row, — “Shaddyis” men declaring that “Billy ” had packed the meeting. “Smithy” and “Nappy” seconded and thirded the motion and “Billy’’put it and declared it carried amidst great confusion. “ Shaddy’s ” supporters then left in a body to lubricate. Then “Billy” [mounted a box and started to give us his views on Municipal! Politics, and, man, it was grandj Didn’t he rub it into some of tie Councillors, too, and when he sjoke of sanitary matters be brought tears to their eyes, and “ Nappy ’’(collapsed. This is his platform :-f- Abolish all rates, every man to keep that portion of footpath and jroad fronting his property to the centre of the road clean and in good repair ; flaxmills in the borough to pay an annual license of £SO each for the noise created; public houses to pay j£ioo a year license, and to provide a house and conveniences for drunks, the Mayor and Councillors to have free drinks at least twice a day ;lighting and drainage to be provide! by private enterprise, householders to please themselves whether they have • it or not (“ Aquarius ” here demurred but a threat of ejection quieted him); Mayor to act as Town Clerk, Inspector of Buildings, Nuisances, Dog Tax Collector and Librarian, with free house and a year. This statement brought forward murmurs from one or two office seeking individuals who thought “ Billy” wanted to monopolise everything. A heated debate followed and it was decided to adjourn pro tem. This is all that transpired, at the, first meeting, Mr Editor —Yours, etc., Arf-an-arf.