BACHELORS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXIX, Issue 3747, 5 February 1907, Page 4

BACHELORS.

Bachelors can be found roaming at large in ail parts of the world (says Tom Masson in the “Delineator”). They inhabit apartments, clubs, open fields, bodies of water and music halls. They are also seen behind the' scenes. They hover at times ndhr front gates, and have been found in back parlours, with the aid of a searchlight, Bachelois are nomadic by nature, and variable in their tastes, never going with one girl long enough to be dangerous. They flourish in large cities, and are generally used at dinner parties to fill in with. Every bachelor was once a baby —being the single instance of where history does not repeat itself. Bachelors are divided into two classes—selfish and unselfish — those who are unborn being unselfish.

The open season for bachelors is in the summer time, but on account of their wily natures they are not easily lured from their haunts for more than two weeks at a time, and are likely to elude the pursuer;

Bachelors make love easily, but rarely keep it. Rich bachelors are hunted openly and shamelessly, and are alwaj’s in great danger. Those who finally escape are as a rule useless ever afterwards. There can be no doubt that the bachelor is a menace to civilisation. The fact that he leaves nothing to be desired in the long run counts against him. Kvery bachelor should be licensed, and compelled not to exceed the speed limit.