The Telephone.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3700, 11 August 1906, Page 3

The Telephone.

alleged humour. Ting-a-ling ? Palmerston, please! Right. Hullo, Billy, I was greatly taken back at yon not receiving a portfolio in the \\ ard Ministry. However, don’t despair, but keep on pegging away the same as we are for progress, and maybe the powers that be wi think ot you some day. VVell Bilk old Joe Ward has made a good selection. At all events, 1 am satisfied, so who cares . 01 course we all expected Charley Mills and Duncan to be dispenser with, but the Maori chief wonk find it hard parting with a few hundred a year. However, McNab, Eowlds and Millar should make good additions to a successful administration, and don’t yon forget to tell them I said so, for we want a cut out of the Government surplus, and I believe this- “ todying ” is the only way to get it. However, we may give it a trial. How is the boom, Phil ? Boom, why that is no name for it? Do you know unemployed are simply flocking into the district, and as long as they arc willing to toil hard, and they dc not come in large we will be able to accommodate em. Building improvements are everywhere. Don’t know, Billy, if yon have been 11 blowing the gaff, but someone has evidently done so, for the “ show ” people are rushing us. Our aristocratic Opera House (?) is engaged for five con secutive nights, and by fou different parties. Fact ! Fanesome of ’em will have to go shor of rations after they appear here, so don’t be surprised to hear 0! walking showmen. By Jove, w had a great Ball here during the week. There were_ all sorts shapes, colours, and sizes present and they did have a jolly time. Some in fancy dresses, others thai Ought to have been, and then there Were others of the fair sex thai were just charming. Your humble was present, and as yon ca imagine, shone conspicuously a fie halt for rations. Talk abon the fancy dresses! There wer soldiers, sailors, gipsies, Irish an Scotch lassies, town and countn girls, etc. The first prize lack looked charming, Bill, and I ca.. just imagine you in high glee pie suiting your compliments. Ther is another flash affair here nex week, when I hope to see you cheery face. The ladies are dial ting much about the haudsom dresses likely to be worn, and 1 believe supper will be in a marquee, and all will be treated right royally. Palmerston’s McMinn i supplying the music, and it is sai John Stevens and lots of visitor: will be there. Yes, it is a fact that one of on storekeepers has lately taken t the sporting game, and has bee;, ni icle an auditor of the loca Racing Club. Speculation is rif as to whether he can be persuade:, t) put his quid on the machine, t tough ? He is too shrewd for that,"l’m thinking. It is said that gas proposals will be put before the Council on Monday night. What oh, she bumps! What about progression ? Our Athletic Club have some novelty events on the programme next November, Bill. “ Grinning through the horse-collar ” and “ Baby Show, under age of nine months ” reads well, and it is said many of the committee intend nominating their young for the baby event. Ii is an open question whether any of the babes will be ancient enough on sports day E walk to the judge and inquire foi the prize. However, there uia\ be “ringing in,” and the committee expect to have to call birth certificates into use to decide numerous protests after the event. Funny thing about the whole affair fc that the gent instrumental in having the event placed on the programme is a bachelor, and it is rumoured they are likely to make him judge? If so, that gent should be a particular friend of the mothers until the sports, but after that—oh lor ! Flow many disappointed mothers will despise and spurn him. Best left unsaid ! About onr river, Bill. No doubt the colony knows that two more steamships have been hard and fast round these parts recently. Really, this subject is becoming sickening, but it can’t be ’elpcd. Fact is that the wind blew pretty hard last Saturday and the Putiki \in making for the river, became entangled" with the .beach outside the bar; the Moa got inside, but became ’ard and last just inside the bar. The Flnia came up from Wellington to pull them off, and was rewarded with success so far as the Putiki is concerned last Thursday morning, when onr pilot smole the first smile ot a week; but the Moa refuses to shift, and may not until next Spring tides. Both boats had to

discharge nearly all their coal, and enterprising fishermen and others have been, picking it up from the beach in tons. One man boasts that he has enough firing for the next 12 months, while another syndicate of four have over 200 bags ready for market. Rather a true saying, i! It’s an ill wind that blows no one good.” As to the stale o( the. river, perhaps the wind bad much to do with chocking it full of sand, but that it wants attention is certain. Even the Charles Edward became entangled with the bottom twice the other day before she reached the wharf. Beautiful river, Billy, and don’t forget to let Joe Ward know. John Stevens will for sure ! dowever, Bill, we will live in hopes. Yes, the rope-works is in lull ■swing, though they can do with more women, girls and boys. Say Bill, a good tale is going the rounds here about onr military ■aptain bayoneting a pilferer at the Sail the other evening who was jetting away with the triple and ruit salads. Cannot vouch for truth, but have not heard of any leaths yet. For the present, good-bye. Ring off.