A Tour Round Town.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3613, 21 December 1905, Page 2

A Tour Round Town.

A DAY WITH ADVERTISERS.

SOME PLEASANT READING.

By “Santa Claus."

Bent on a visit of inspection so that I may be conversant with Foxton and its doings at Yule tide, I map out a route of travel for myself, touching the outskirts of “flaxopolis” in my initial stages. It is not long before I discover that there is a man named S. Saville in Union street, who erects buildings by the process known as carpentering, and in less time than it takes to tell I find Jackson & Swift, nurserymen and seedsmen, who run a business in Norbiton Road. Then I get into good going in the Avenue, and it is made plain to me that Mr A. Jonson will undertake to remove me from this world by means of a 6 x 2 box when I feel disposed to “shuffle off this mortal coil.” Rather despondent at the thoughts of leaving this world with all its pleasures and pretty girls, I make good speed to the Avenue crossing, where Ike Fake and his staff of workmen have just completed a concrete culvert. That concrete throws forth a limeJi.ke odour which severely tests my~ tdhsilr Mini- gave.- way. so quickly that I had to seek refuge at > Levett’s Manawatu Hotel, where I refresh myself with a glass of ale, and last long enough to reach the Council Offices. After raising the necessary permit from the Borough Clerk (Mr Alf. Fraser), I make my way through the back gate of the Police Department, and secure the signatures of two eminent officials of the law — Messrs Whitehouse and Lander. Feeling proud at possessing such noble authority, with jaunty step I walk into

G. H. Stiles’ Drapery, and find that window curtains, drapery of all descriptions, boots and shoes have been specially selected to meet the taste of Xmas customers. Jack Gillespie looks at me pretty hard, so, lest I should be thought a pilferer, I make my exit, only to discover that L. Edwards has recently acquired premises next door. “Lu ” has an ice-cream coat on, and certainly looks like a barber; and when he wishes to know whether it is a “ shave, sir ” or “’air cut” I know I am not mistaken. He invites me to test one solitary cigar, which I intend to reserve for the Poutu sports, where I am likely to have a real good time As I leave the tonsorial artist’s premises, the icecream proprietor reminds me that “The Sunbeams” have lately been re-organised, and that over half-a-dozen star artists will strengthen them at race time. After hearing him ejaculate “I am in ’em now,” I leave immediately, and make my way to Mrs Hussey, who has a large stock of toys, books, Xmas and Post-cards. I purchase some of the latter, and find time to address them while Mr C. England of the

Bank op New Zealand gazes carefully at a feeble cheque I present for payment. I never did like money, so I rid myself of the sight of it, and journey down to Mrs Wright’s, purchase some fruit, and with an extra sixpence, attempt to guess the name of a bride doll she has on exhibition in her window. While I am wondering whether all brides are as innocfent and pleasant-faced I turn into Lye Moon’s grocery, which is full of currants, fruit and household goods. Then I think of Ern Ball’s tobacconist establishment, and find myself asking for a shave. An assistant places the lather on me with a brush, the proprietor meanwhile wishing me a Merry Xmas and informing me that his stock of cigars, cigarettes, and such like are second to none.- He is still talking to me about the superiority of his hair-wash when I extricate myself from his comfortable chair, and make my way out into his billiard-room. There an attendant is tipping all day, and giving patrons their cue when the 50 or 100 up is concluded. From this haunt I stroll quietly out, only to be accosthd by the proprietor, who compels me to test all the cigars he has stocked. I vote them excellent, and make for

Haywood’s Hotel,

where Speight’s ales are always on tap. Large stocks of best assorted - wines, whisky, etc., make me long for Xmas Eve, and then I wak« up in The Red House inspecting the large stock of wickerware, groceries, etc. Mr Walker shows me some BY Patent Flax Hooks, and then I hear the clatter of hammer and nails at the scene of the late Bank fire. It is the carpenters who are busy completing a new. building, so that Chung Wah & Co., greengrocers and fruiterers, can open at once. Down further Tom Gingell, coach proprietor, can always be found, willing and courteous in his transactions. It is he who holds the Shannon mail contract, . and you can rely on his steeds. Right next door

George Gray tells how the election was won, whilst I am bemoaning my fate at the defeat of Oswald Gardner, and burying my sorrows in a glass of Speight's. On, on, my journey, and I come to

C. Easton’s Butchery, where legs of lamb, mutton, beef,’ and, in fact all sorts of meat, are for sale. A parcle of mint .is obtainable with Xmas lamb, which by the way, X am very fond of Weighed down by my large list of purchases, I instruct v k. * timber merchant, to construct a wheel-barrow to carry my goods home, and was then shown .the large workshop which he is erecting in his yard. I then start off on a jaunt to

Austin’s Machinery Depot to discover whether it is a feet that they are agent for Cable’s flax machinery. This I fins is perfectly correct, so I trudge along to Johnston’s Stables, where I am informed a coach leaves for Levin next Sunday morn at 3 o’clock, also a special coach for Poutu sports on Monday morning. Glad is my heart when I realise that I am now in the vicinity of Laing’s Family Hotel, and with timidity, I inquire after everybody's health. pitality is unbounded, and I am accomodated with a cup of afternoon tea, for which I acknowledge my thanks, and then make for the bar to test the various assortment of bottled ales. With the tingle of “ Auld Lang Syne ” in my ears and laden with a bottle of Scotch I manage to survive till the

Post and Telegraph Oppicb is reached. Here I forward “seasons greetings” to mother and my numerous friends- by telegram, despatch a post card to “Harold St. Aubyn,” and visit Smale and Hay's, where a splendid assortment of drapery and suchlike is displayed! Right next door E. Snow makes good my wom-out boots, and 1 make my passage to Fraser’s Stationery, or rather Xmas haunt. Every form imaginable of Xmas present he has stocked, and he has prepossessing young ladies to attend to you. My teeth begin to- ache, 1 and I am directed upstairs, where Elliott Hill applies the pincers, and with one strong pull and a ‘ D—his at* tendant informs me that no longer will I suffer from that disagreeable sensation.' Believing him toWa truthful young fellow, I quit the haunt of shining steel, and visit Shadbolt and Howan’s Butchery where German sausage and black pudding are displayed. There also lamb in any quantity, toasts of good dimensions, and some poultry. After this Jack Frew, Wycherly’s saddlery manager, tells me a good tale about the quality of their leather goods, and, not looking for proof, I journey to Osborne and Baker’s, whose manager, Mr Bradley, avers are the best tailoring firm south of the Line. Betty’s Boot Emporium and Thompson’s Boot Store are the next on the list. They both claim to have a good stock in, while Mrs Bradcock has a refreshment room open at all hours, where civility and good meals can always be obtained. Then W. Baker . is known to mak« gooi cho^fis.

Mark Perrkau

bakes bread second to none in Foxton. I may mention be is the only baker here! His Saturday night suppers are very appetising, while I had some afternoon tea there once which was very acceptable. Adjoining is the home of the humourous Irishman, Phil Hennessy, who has his shop stocked full of groceries and such like. Since my last annual visit, he has added a new block to his premises which contain wicker-ware in plenty, and which is worth the inspection of those who intend to marry. Levin and Co. next form my attention, and the manager, Mr

j. Overend, is quite willing to book me to any part of the world by their fast packet line of boats. But I prefer to go only across the road to

L. Wilson who has recently opened a grocery establishment on his own, and Is doing good business. He also has a stock of season fruits, and after testing these to my entire satisfaction, I purchase a pair of bootlaces from

Wright ad Son,

and then visit

Miss Walden, whose strawberries are O K. This delicacy gives me heart enough to face

Mss Hamer,

who has an artistic display of

ladies wearing apparel. All quality i and colours of costly dressings = m> gaze, to say nothing of the style and finish executed hy first-class dress-makers. Talking about ribbons, silks and such like is too effeminate a subject for me, and feelings resembling mal de mer steal over me, so I hurriedly rush Into Healey’s Chemistry,

where my complaint is put at rest by the aid of a pick-me-up, which I fancy must be Epsom salts- — judging by its bitter taste. However, my internal organs are set in thorough working order, for my pulse beats, and I am well enough physically to scan the display of C. Barnard’s jewellery establishment. Here I observe gold and silver-ware of every assortment and design—so much, in fact, that I become com-

pletely perplexed and bewildered, for I see so many nice presents a , ,that I dont know which my lady ... love will like best. I finally decide that she must come and choose for herself —no doubt much to her delight. Then I notice E. Howe, . cycle manufacturer, on my route, and, with thoughts of the motor, I pass by a second shop tenanted by

A. Fraser, stocked with Xmas goods, _ and deposit myself on the bench in Mr R. Barber’s.

The boss tells me that all sorts of engineering work is undertaken by his staff, also that vehicles of every description are repaired and constructed on the premises. I am now nearing the end of my

Journey, and begin to study the peaceful lives of the different men I have met on my round, with

such results that I finally come to the conclusion that there must be something in the game, •nd accordingly I despatch an order with Alex. Speirs to build me a home on the timepayment system, after which I steer towards the “ Manawatu Herald ”

and advertise for a wife who is not a believer in Women’s Franchise, does not wish to rule the roost in home life, believes in her husband staying out all hours of the night, and does not herself wear rational dress, drink, or smoke. I understand the advertising qualities of the** Herald ” are perfect, so such a life partner as I require may be discovered through the agency of this influential journal. Feeling that much good may come from my visit, and perspiring freely, I take a walk over to Soy Lee’s Laundry,

where I exchange my soiled linen for a bran new stiff sbirt and collar, so that I may not entirely be left behind the door when the 1905 Xmas season bestows its human feminine gifts upon bacherlordom. It is not far to Stark’s Studio

so I resolved to get a photograph taken of myself, and then go to rest for another year, at the same time wishing all my readers “A Merry Christmas.”