Flotsam and Jetsam.

Manawatu Herald, 4 June 1892, Page 2

Flotsam and Jetsam.

(By Motuiti.) The courteous editor of the Manawatt; Herald has granted me the privilege of treating from time to time in this column of men, women and things in and about Foxton. In short, as Solomon puts it, I am to discourse de omnibus rebut et quibus dam aim. Eeader, mark the last six words. Of oourse, I don't know what they mean. Do you ? But they must mean something, and the editor knows. They look 1 earned, at any rate, and that's what's the matter. Ey quoting Greek, or German, or French I may be able to impose on a credulous public, and make believe that I am, perhaps, a learned and scientific individual ; and you may then read sometimes what I may chance to write about, yourself— no, never. Perish the thought l It was a slip, good brother. I mean never to write about you, but about " the other fellow," You know that, don't you ? Learned and scientific Ha ! Now, Maria sweetest, don't ourl your expressive nose, I admit at once all you say. I am not a scientific person. The Lawyer, the Doctor, the Schoolmaster, the Editor of the Herald, McMillan &Ehodes, and the three Hotelkeepers may be - in fact, they are, every one of them, scientific men, and good men, and publicspirited, and whatever you please. My word ! See how they have been making Foxton boom along lately. Look at the Flax business. Look at the Public Pump. Look at the new Tennis Court. Look at — — well, there is not very much else of the year's public work to make a song about ; and that's a fact. Bat still they are capable and scientific, the leading people of this town, and they will do a lot for the place before the end of the year. I admit at once, Maria, that I am not a leading person, or a scientific. My education was sadly neglected in my youth. Two white men and a Maori are required to decipher my manascript, and the printer's devil, I know, curses me dreadfully. Poor little devil ! Now then, Maria, are you quite satisfied, Cushla Machree ? That's Irish, my dear, and means " How clever you are !" Just so. I am disposed to look at the smooth side of things mostly, and so find pleasant things to write about, and sometimes even funny ones. This paragraph, however, will not be funny. Let us walk down the Main Street. See that man — what is the matter with him ? '• He's drunk as a fiddler," you say. " And that one very Bhaky and tottery as he moves along — what's the matter with him ? " Oh, he's killing himself. He's tight as a drum just now," you say. And that other one, and that other — Good heavens ! There is something very wrong here somehow. Everybody knows that there are " prohibited " folks about, and that'tbey oannot be supplied with drink. Let us try to think it out. The Licensing Act is a very good Act, admirably drawn, and designed to regulate the Licensed Victuallers trade distinctly with a view to promote temperance among the people, and not this other thing. Why does it fail so lamentably in this particular way ? The Act provides that the publican or any other person who provides a "prohibited" person or any one "under the influence " with drink is amenable to the law, and may be heavily punished. But in many, if not most, cases the publican is innocedt. For example, Tom wants a bottle of whiskey, but ho is a " prohibit." What does he do? He gets Dick to obtain it for him. And then the blessed pair of them go off and finish it aud get " tight as a drum." And the hotel-keeper is as innocent actually as you or I. Thus the Act fails. Perhaps the cause of the failure may be this tbat the Act provides punishment for the wrong man. The law says Tom must not be allowed to drink liquor, and that if he does the publican or the friends who get him the liquor will be punished. If, however, Tom di3obeys the law and gets drunk, why irr the name of patience should not Tom be punished himself? Suppose the punishment were " three months' imprisonment with hard labour," don't you think bbtween ourselves that the knowledge of the fact would be a strong help to a man to withstand temptation? I confess I would like to see a trial made of this plan in some two or three cases I know of. But what of Tom's wife and family while he is in gaol ? Bless you, the wife and family will have one lets mouth to feed till he comes out again. That's so, is it not ? But this drink business is dry work. Away with it ! And now let us turn to something better. I saw 6uch a love of a bonnet — or was it a hat ? — the other day, and such a face under it ! Ye powers ! My soul is filled with that hat, and I have dreamed about millinery mostly since. This paragraph is about millinery. Millinery dates back as far as our first mother. What did you please to remark, Mr Editor ? "No more room, and the devil wants copy.' Very well, suppose we let the millinery par. elide till next week.