MR WHITEHALL'S ERRAND.

Manawatu Herald, Volume II, Issue 90, 6 July 1880, Page 3

MR WHITEHALL'S ERRAND.

At the farmhouse gate the other morning Mrs Whitehall said to Joseph as he was ready to drive into town — " Remember, now, what I told you. I want a spool of thread No. 60, ten yards of calico with a dot in it, and a yard and a half of brown drilling to line the . w?ist." Joseph drove into', the city as straight as a bee line and as happy as an old giraffe when the circus is out. •■> He sold his butter ansJ < eggs, on his way to a dry goods store, when he met a man who once came awfully near marrying his sister J This was reason enough -w hy they should drink together, and they drank. 'When a man meets a fellow who might have? been his brother -in-ta# if a mule hadn't kicked the prospect tive bride across the dark river he can't tell when to stop- drinking. Farmer Whitehall couldn't remember whether ho imbibed seven or seventeen glasses, but the resuH was the same. When he finally got ready to do his .trading, he entered a store and said, •' Shir, I want shixty spools of dots, wix a waisn in'em !" That was as plain as he could make it in any of the half dozen stores he entered, and/ by-and-by he suddenly discovered that he wasn't in a mood for trading. He found another saloon ancf mOre beer, aad* it wsis evening when he entered ai jewellery store and said — "Shir, I want a vardan' a- half dots wiz shixty in 'em." He was turned our, and late in the evening he fell down on the street near the monument, too tired to go farther. As the officer raised him up he murmured, " Shir, I want ten yard drillin' to line 'er spool thread wiz." He was quite sober when walked out for trial, and moreover a little anxious to know what had beoom e of his vest buttons and one coat-tail. uDo you feel better ?' tenderly, asked his Honour, as he looked down upon the prisonei. " No> sir — I feel worse," was the answer. " Nice time you had rolling around the street last night." " Squar'," began the man, as he faced around, " this is the Brat time I ever made a fool o' myself with both eyes open. I've got 'leven dollars down here in my vest, and you can take it all if you'll let me go. I'll bet a cucumber the ole woman didn't sleep a wink last night, and she'll put one of the boys on a hoss and send him up the road after me this morning." "Then you'll plead guilty?" "I do. I'm guilty and an idiot to boot." "Do you want to dust right out for home?" "Do. IP Why, I can't hardly stand. I want to meet the boy as fur out as I kin, and tell him I got upsot." " Can you remember wh<it your wife told you to get ?" "I kin. She wanted sixty yards of waist linincr, a yard and a half of dots, and ten spools of calioo, and I'll get 'em as Igo out." •"' Well, you may go." ""Thankee ! Whar's my hat- . good bye ! Whar's that jack kinfe ?—- --good*-bye everybody. 1 ' But what did his wife say?

for nil our land, and if we wi-h to make roads onwclrep, well and gord. Th-iti" all. From the Committee of Ni»i tir.iu'mwa. Hoam Taipca. . Comm'ttse llouie, Otaki, June 28, 1880.