AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING

Mataura Ensign, Volume 7, Issue 404, 28 October 1884, Page 2

AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING

» — . By Cyclop. The violin craze has extended from Gore to Boston, and exists at the latter place in a violent form. "We are told that five hundred young ladies have commenced the " study " of the instrument. The chief wonder, to me, is where all the cats come from. There is one consolation, however. As the number of i violins increases, the supply of cats must decrease pro rata. 1 have not quite made up my mind whether I prefer cats or violins. On the whole I think I should prefer tho cat in a dead condition, and in the form of a violin. We should then be at least free from the everlasting household plea that the " catgut " it. A witty member from a goldfields district remarked the other day — " Whenever I see a Bill with the name of the Honorable Sir Julius Yogel at the head of it, I know that I have struck gold, or else I am very near striking it. The color may not show on the surface, but j it is somewhere about, and not far either, j and I am quite content to let the boss work the claim for me in his own way. All 1 hare to do is to look on and vote straight.and when we clean up at the end of the session, I shall get my share of the pile with the rest." There is more truth in this naif statement than perhaps was intended. Sir Julius has cast a glamor over New Zealand politics which has blinded most of us. A few months ago we were on the verge of bankruptcy and none was so poor as to do us honor. A touch of the magician's hand and, presto ! everything is rosecolored and we are the most prosperous nation on the face of the earth. There is no financial instinct like the Semitic after all. The handling Hanlan got at the hands of Beach, the New South Wales sculler, was received at Home with various feelings. Grave expressions of opinion as to Hanlan's break up were of course jinclulged in, and his speedy disappearance from the aquatic arena was speculated upon. To my mind the whole affair has a very simple explanation. The gate money plague has set in. Whon that consideration comes in, all our manly sports recede in public favor. It ruined pede.strianism, it ruined public cricket, it has given horsa racing a malodorous flavor and it now bids fair to make the healthful sport of boat racing disreputable. Sic transit gloria mundi. The ex-chief | detective of London, Mr Howard Vincent, {who has recently married money, has been treated by our Government as a distinguished guest. Ho has had to himself nnd wife a special railway carriage, and has otherwise been teted. I think iE I were fated to become an ex-detective I should not go about the world flourishingly in this style. A jNobwegun has been sentenced at Auckland to a month's imprisonment for attempting to kiss a young woman against her will. I should just like to be informed whether it was the offence or the failure to commit it that provoked the penalty. I have learned for the first time that the Scandinavian nature was psculatory. Perhaps thejyoung Tromahgot him had up " because he did not kiss her. It is something to be an editor, after all Amongst 35 applicants for the post o£ head master of a High School up Wanganm way was one, who,' as a qualification to entitle him to the appointment, states that he had " a wife whose brother was an editor." Tlie reflected light from the applicant's illustrious brother-in-law lid not, I am sorry J to say, secure the coveted position. My opinion of the influencje of the editorial position has ! fallen bejow «erp, T.h 0 world wili soon

» . ose faith, in editors if: they are to be ' snubbed in this way. The Salvation Army have rented a large ; house of ten rooms in Queen street, ; Auckland, which they are going to use ' as a casual ward for persons who are . shelterless and supperless at night, also ; for giving lodgings to discharged prisoners for a few nights until they can ; get honest labor. Captain Burfoot last week relieved about fifty people, the Army giving a collection ot L 5 one night to defray expenses. If the Salvation Army are thus showing their leavonl am almost persuaded to agree with them. T This is much better work than" Bowling* 5 about the streets' and disturbing the rest > 'of the somnolent. i -, E Sckxe = Table d'hote at fashionable hotel • in Gore, big market day. Farmer of the 1 old school has dined. "Waiter — "Fini- ? shed, sir ?" Farmer—" Fat's the charge ?" 1 Waiter — " Two shillings, please." Farmol • (startled)— "Two shillings? Weel I'iik J" nae deen yet." Resumes operations.- --' The host has not yet got over his sur- ■'• prise and indignation. 1 The biter was bitten the other day, at 5 the sale of the Gordon reserves. A mail 1 had been put up to bid for a certain section, it being known that a certain man J wanted it, and it was thought advisable I tojget as much for it as possible. The ? victim took the bait in an apparently • ready manner, and allowed himself to bo ! led on" from a few shilling to twentyfivei » Ho then said 'I'm done,' and it is said | that the countenance of the nominee ! underwent a visible and rapid change in about a second. Needless to add he did L nqt, implement .Ids offer, so . all , parties were sold. ■■■-'■ '■ I have another friend who is euphuistic in his method of expression. Speaking the other day about a horse which he owned lie said the animal was skilful in the art of tolutationi