THE HUMOURIST.

Marlborough Daily Times, Volume II, Issue 118, 7 May 1880, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE HUMOURIST.

TRUTH THE WORST OF ALL. M- — . S! A man .who said he was trying to get| ! '||r enough money together to reach Toledo yes*|a|| terday entered an ollice on Griswold Street, and told his story, and added that his name LA was Caesar. felt ‘ Any relation to Julius or Augustus ?’ M queried the citizen. |j|- * Well, no, I want to be honest and square vij: about this thing, and I tell you honestly that I am not related to either. ’ ‘Then I can’t help you any. You arc nothing but a common sort o’ plug, and it jf|i| won’t make any difference whether you ever hi! get to Cleveland or not. If you were re- L]. : latcd to the great Julius I should feel in duty *| bound to help you.’ h.l; The man backed out without another word, and entering the office next door, lie iujp walked up to the occupant with the remark, pp *My name is Caesar, and I am closely re- fib lated to Julius and Augustus. Can you flfj spare mo ten cents to help me to get to | Toledo ?’ ‘Sir, you are a base deceiver !’ replied the lljs other. ‘ You are no more related to the id Cicsars than lam ! Had you come in hero •« and told me a straight, truthful story I y|\ should have given you a quarter. You can d|}j go, Sir.’ J The man went out, aud he determined to !?«| tell the truth, and nothing but the truth. ’ | Halting the first man who came along, lie if|,j said : i|ij ‘ 1 have been telling folks that my name was Ciesar, and that I was trying to collect \’jq money enough to take me to Toledo. Now, fife the real truth of the matter is that I am ;;||i named Clark, and 1 wanted the money to mk buy whisky. That’s the solemn truth, and T| : can you help me with ten cents ?’ ‘ Ten cents ! Why you base liar and de ;jfe ceiver, I’ll hand you over to the police !’ ex- j; claimed the other. i* ‘ I’ve told you the truth. ’ ‘ And it’s enough to send you up for six - months. Don’t, you dare ask me for money !’ k The tramp sat down oil a cold stone block, | took his last chew of tobacco, and mused : f ‘l’ve lied and I’ve tokl the truth. I’ve ■ told the truth and I’ve lied. I made as .i much one way as the other, and nothing out j of either. Looks now as if I’d got to play J deaf and dumb, or go to work!’—‘Detroit ; Free Press. ’ §