A MIXED-UP MESS.

Lyell Times and Central Buller Gazette, Volume VI, Issue 267, 3 April 1886, Page 4

A MIXED-UP MESS.

There is a type-setter formerly employed on the Granite Falls (Dakota) Tribune, who is dodging a vigilance committee composed of the editor of the Tribune. The type-setter is two days ahead of the vigilance committee, and is walking fast across the bleak prairies, through snow drifts facing blizzards, anything to get away from the wild editor who is after him It •eems that the village is discussing the feasibility of building a bridge, and the editor being a village official, much of the discussion in regard to the bridge is held in the sanctum ot th« Tribune Type-setters who have been compelled to set type in an office where general conversation is going on will appreciate the position of the poor fellow w ho is getting out of the country as fast as bis legs will carry him There was a meeting of the town board of Granite Falls, in the office of the Tribune, and a consultation wan held wilb a Minneopolist engineer who had been sent for on the allabsorbing bridge topic. A lady had sect in a communication for publication on the subject of " The Loveliness of True Love," and the type-setter was setting it up, with the constant bridge talk coming to his ears through the tobacco smoke. The article was put right into the forms, and the paper was printed without the proof being read, and when the paper was all printed, and the meeting adjourned, the editor went home with a copy of the paper. Before reading tar he came to the article on love, and read as follows : "in starting out to wrjte an article on the essence of true love, there should be an icebreak to guard the central abutment. Few people realise in the most exalted sense how this sentiment permeates the bt tter pa* t of our being, and how much more a bridge would cost at the lower than the upper crossing I cannot, with what ex penence I have had in Buch matters, believe that a young man can live a life of celibacy without endargering the main structure where it rests on the pier at the east end. He who leads a life of promiscuity of sentiment is apt to run the expense up so high tbat it is probable that the town would kick, knowing as they do, that the old bridge will last for some time y?t if properly repaired. To be sure the additional expense of raising a family of children may bear too heavy on so long a span, and cause it to sag; and in no case would we advise a young man to seek a life companion at a gait taster than a waik. It I succesd in getting this appropriation through the Legislature to assist you in building the bridge, you must of course expect that married life is not all it seems, and great care should be taken that the underpinning is all right." A dull thud was heard in the sitting, room of the editor's family residence, and when his family gathered around the editor was unconscious, clutching the paper in his hand. Kestoratiyes wfre applied, and when the editor's eyes.opened he shouted, " Put a pint of buckshot in the musket," and he went off into a delirium again. Several times be came to long enough to give some order of a sanguinary nature, and it was shortly noised around town that he wrs on the warpath. The compositor read the paper, and divined the cause of the trouble, and he started for St. Paul on foot The editor became conscious, and started after him. The lady who wrote the article for the paper read it, and started for her husband, who started for ihe editor. It is believed that Governor Pierce will have to call out the militia to quell some of the people.—Peck's Sunbeams