Bowls—or What ?

Levin Daily Chronicle, 25 January 1917, Page 1

Bowls—or What ?

% (l!y Y\'.H. in The Te AroKa Xews.) A friend with the kindliest intentions invited me up to witness some of the .games in the Domain the other afternoon. L have a sound knowledge of cricket I can follow the intricacies of llugby, ami am able to score at tennis, but- have never interested myself sufficiently in bowls further than to know that- a- player shoots his bowl at a little white ball of the sex of which players themselves differ, as some call it "Jack" and others "Kitty." Having a couple of hours to-spare after luncheon, I accepted the invitation, and was soon lounging in the pavilion facing an almost perfect sward. Then my trouble commenced, for I always like to understand a game I am watching, and, if possible, to master its terms but after an hour 1 confess that my mind was considerably obfuscated by the curious idioms of the game. I was watching an exceedingly stout gentleman with «■ 50-inch waist deliver a bowl, when to my great astonishment the man at the other end ishouted out-: "You're much too thin—narrow as a Presbyterian!'' This was a distinct libel on the bowler, who was a 17-Moner. Xot two minutes later a very thin man with a sun-dried face shot a bowl, and the same man said. "You're too wicTo —you take too much paddock. He a good deal thinner next time and trail "kitty" to my feet" Here was a confusion of terms. In the first placs* the man was thin as he could be, and looked its if he were short of gra.-s rather than guilty of taking too much paddock. T waited for •enlightenment, and it came when the thin man who was too wide knocked "kitty" along the green without tile slightest respect for her. "Ilu'hi! Jack, this is one for the suburbs!" said one- skip as a bowl rolled wide away from the jack. "What about an extension of the green for you?" At which some of those with a full understanding la lighted raucously. At the next attempt one skip was evidently puzzled a,s to what- to do. | An enemy bowl -rested just beside the one that was nearest the jack. At last, after .scratching his sliead he paid quite seriously: "Come up on this hand, and crack an egg oil it!" As thero were no eggs available, and if there were it would be a messy thing to do to crack an egg on a bowl the player took no notice of the injunction but just slung his bowl up and knocked the one to bo "egged" out of the way, whereupon the skip clapped liifi hands vigorously as -though insisting upon an encore. '•Burn the jack!" Good heavens, why should -such vandalism take • place ion so beautiful a lawn, ,1 thought and moved round to witness the blaze but there was no fire and nothing' wars burnt. All I saw was a tall young fellow smack the white hal-l into the ditch a long way away.

"Here's one fo rthe sewer!" was the next exciting remark. T looked about fo'r the drainage connections, and inwardly rejoiced that ;I had mot so far noticed any offensive small such a-s comes from most sewers. The bowl came down with a very slight bond and narrowly missed three or 1 four others 'resting within a foot or so of the white ball. It rolled joyously on and suddenly vanished from sight. I than realised that the "sewer" is the little trench at the end of the green. Another howl followed, and it too went into the sewer very wide of the mark. "That one's! dead—take it away," was the command and an old chap put both bowls up or. the bank—so that they could not bs hit. "Oh, a beauty—a regular iDinny Hayes or! You're a. player." "Well, Dinny Hayes could not have done better, for the -bowl just crept up to the white ball and lay right up against it-. "Chalk it!" Three little crosses were made oh the howl. "What's that for?" I asked of a