Laugh it off . . .

Lake County Mail, Issue 11, 6 August 1947, Page 11

Laugh it off . . .

Little Tommy: “Mummy, I should send a cross letter to Santa Claus if I were you. He’s parked a mouldy-looking lot of toys under your bed.'’

Yokel (to barman at village inn) : A mother-in-law.. Barman: Well, that’s a new ’un to me. What do you mean? “ Stout and hitter.” 7

Son: Dad, what is bankruptcy? Dad: Bankruptcy, my son, is when a man puts hif( money in his trousers pocket and lets his creditors take his coat.

“Don’t you know it’s unhealthy to have this pigsty so close to the house?” “Nonsense, that pig has never had a day’s illness in his life.”

Miss Flatt: I’m sorry you don’t think much of my voice, professor. The people npxt door say I, ought to go abroad to study. Professor: But I don’t live next door.

' tSnitpr:.. (to little brother).: Little chap, how old is your sister? Small brother (-thinking hard) : I think she is 35, hut I’ve a good idea she’s been marked down to 27.

A man entered an Aberdeen store and bought an attache case. “ May J wrap it up for you?” asked the assistant. “ Oh, no, thank you,” returned the man, “just put the string and paper inside.”

Old Lady: If I give you this sixpence will you promise me not to spend it in the public house over the road? Reggar: Certainly, mum. Is there any pertic’ler house you’d like me to patronise?

The parson met little Bobby, in the village. “ I’m so pleased that you like going to Sunday school, Bobby,” he said. “ What do you expect to learn today?” Bobby answered brightly, “The date of the picnic, sir! ”

They couldn’t find a church to suit the bride-to-he; each one was too small, or too narrow, or too unfashionable. Finally, a friend took her to see the ideal church. Still she shook her head. “ Well, what’s wrong this time?” they asked her. “ The visibility,” she replied, “ it’s very poor.”

The young man was outside the park waiting for bis girl. Tiring, be leaned against the railings, which he discovered were freshly painted. Further down tin; road he saw the painter still busy. Going to him he said indignantly: “ Hero, why don’t you put ‘ Wet paint 5 on these, railings?” “Why, I be doin’ that, bain’t I?” queried the painter.

His car had taken fire and was destroyed. Being insured he went at once to the insurance office and demanded his money. He was given a claim form, was told he would not get the money but that the car would he replaced. “Oh! ” said he, “ if that’s the way ye do business, give me back the premium I paid the other day on my wife’s policy.”