THE INSPECTION.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 25 April 1918, Page 2

THE INSPECTION.

By " GUNNER."

" You never knew Mr Travers, did you, Bill ? No ! I think it was before you came to D Company. " Best orncer in the British Army, 'c were. The lads 'ud follow 'im to 'ell and back just for a smile, and fight! ' iStrewth ! couldn't 'c fight! If you ever went over in a raid with

Mr Travers, you were sure to come through: couldn't 'elp it, you yrere too well led. 4§ilk " ' Now, lads/ he'd bay, 'no to-night; it makes too much .noise and gives me a' eadacho. And those nasty bombs, we'll not have any; of them, sticky things. No ! We'll just give 'em the bayonet, lads, aud keep count as you drop 'em off:, 'cos I've to put in a report in the morning.' And away we'd go over the top as

'appy as you please

" Well! I remember one day wed just come out of the line for a restup to the ears in mvd —most 'orrible mess. We were just frying to dig borne of it off, when up comes Mr

Travera,

" ' Boys.!' says ho, 4 there's a brass hat coming to see you in the morning. Clean your buttons a bit, and put on your clean pinnies '; and away he goes smiling

" Second-Lieutenant 'c were, and didn't give a tuppenny for nobody. Used to talk to the Old Man as if 'c were 'is long-lost brother. And as for G-enerals, 'c thought them very small beer.

"We tried to clean up a bit the next day, but it were no use; we couldn't get the mud off, and you can't clean buttons by breathin' on 'em when you've had no beer for a month—can you ?—I aska ? Well, we forms up outside the billett in two ranics, and as usual about an hour later up comes tbe brass-'at with the Brigade Major, and the Old Man. and the Company Commander, and all the rest of the bloomin crocodile.

The other platoons managed to get through some'ow, Heaven knows 'ow they did it! And then 'c comes to us. He takes one look at us, and sort of staggers, Then 'c sticks the winder in 'is eye, and walks down the line getting redder and redder, and edging away from us as though we were some dirty 'Tins. When 'c gets to the end of the front rank, a nasty look comes into 'is face, and 'a turns round to look for the orficer. Up comes Mr Travers, and salutes as smart as you please. Morning, sir 1' says 'c. The old brass-'at glares fit to eat 'im for a minute, then turns to us

" 4 Well, I'm not 'ere to thrown bouquets,' he says. ' You're a dirty lot! Do you 'ear me ?—a dirty lot I Never seen such filthy soldiers! If you was to go right through France you couldn't find a dirtier lot V • He turns round to the orficer and says—'Do you 'ear. me, sir! All through France you couldn't find a dirtier lot!'

"'l'm not so "sure,. sir. You haven't seen the rear rank yet,' says Mr Travers. v \':i- r