THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF WILLIAM.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 9 March 1916, Page 2

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF WILLIAM.

I, William, Emperor and King of all the Outlaws, Barbarians, and Greatest Criminals of the Earth, having become completely fuddled by vanity and ambition, dictate this, .my last Will and Testament, in anticipation of seeing myself nailed to the pillory by the civilised peoples I have outraged. I bequeath:—

First: To the Widows, Orphans, and Aged whose woe I have caused, my' personal fortune, and thenght to curse me to the end of the centuries;. Second: To my Chief of Staff and my Ministers, all my titles and my decorations, which I have sufficiently dragged through mud and blood; , Third: To Austria, my colossal Zeppelins, or so many of them as shall remain ; as well as my last cartridge, to^ enable Francis Joseph to blow oxfftm brains when he shall w»li«Uhat Jfe has£ SS d falUng int° the trap-^JJiforTf Fourth: To France, I give up, under compulsion, Alsace-Lorraine: and to England I leave the memory of my navy, since that is all I have left of it; Fifth': To .Belgium, I give all mjfjt admiration for her heroic defence against*^ my scoundrelly aggression; Sixth: To Russia, I give those few - cannon which she has not taken from ' me ; Seventh: To valiant little Servia, ,1 give Austria; Eighth : To Italy, a ro d which I have m pickle for her ; Ninth: To all Peoples, I grudgingly / give peace ; Tenth: As to my well-beloved son, the Grown Prince, I leave him nothing, considering that the dose which the Alhed armies will g ive nim will b e sufficient; but resets, I leave those to my family. nSeo tf oa tisty"iia-^»^ ■x> ■ v ,-, William, August, 1915.. —' -Life," New York.