CURRENT TOPICS OF THE DAY

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 25 February 1915, Page 2

CURRENT TOPICS OF THE DAY

(l rßOi£ VARIOUS SOURCES')

The Kaiser's Sore Head | Assiduous study of existing but ephemeral literature discloses new facts about the Kaiser. We know that he is worth £30,000,----000, that one of his smallerestates has 250,000 acres, that; his favourite instrument is the trombone, and that he plays it "worse than anybody in Germany," that he prefers the cavalry because he has ingrowing toenails, that he causes a cold bath to be prepared for him every morning but never use§4| it, that at present he is engaged*^ at a new map of England with ■ his various palaces marked in red. It is at least interesting to ;. be told that he has had plans prepared for the " total recon- f struction ot Windsor Castle," < with which he has been familar as a guest, and that he intends = to turn the Tower of London;; into a military museum. Con- ; ; temporary German newspapers^ do not state whether the august - Wilhelm will be on exhibit in the Tower. | * * # A Happy Inspiration An English "'Tommy," while^ stationed in a Flemish village* wanted to buy a tooth-brush. Being unable to speak either I French or Flemish, he could not manage to make the people ■ understand what he wanted. < After several unsuccessful at-^ tempts, he hit on a brilliant idea,}, and entering a little shop, he proceeded to imitate the action of " brushing his teeth. At first the Q old dame shook her head, then % her face suddenly lit up with a i smile. Placing a ladder against the wall, she searched for several '-i minutes in some cardboard boxes V on a top shelf. She at last found ■}. what she wanted, and triumph-# antly handed him not a tooth- i brush but a Jew's harp ! ..;.': * # # ; The Prince and Pauper Wired, that Sir John French (says the Observer), who lately visited England for the last time! until the war is over, arrived in "an overcoat and wearing a private's soiled cap," which reminds one that great soldiers % (unless they be Barnum-Powells) ii do not travel round looking like a free millinery shows. During i the last war the most conspicu-J ous example of carelessness wasH that of that brilliant -officerO* General "Micky" Mahon, who A often didn't wear uniform, and could easily, be mistaken for a civilian transport rider. He had a penchant, for a certain greasy old golf cap (worth about 4d), and\i he never had a pair of putties ofv the same colour. And it is rather^ of interest that his favourite - staff officer was of German blood ' (Prince Alexander of Teck) brother of the Queen. The troops used to call the pair " The Prince and the Pauper/ for ■ Alexander always looked as if he* had come out of a bandbox," and " was extremely large and Ger- " manic in appearance, while "- Micky " was small and as Irish ' as the Lakes of Killarney. -r * * # :l

Supine Precident Wilson

The President of the XJ.S,A* * 4 may be right in his objection to ;S turning the country into ft "I military camp," but even that ' ;1 might be better than a Teutonic ' "J invasion. And nothing is more =-1 certain than that Germany would " have attacked the Monroe * '"M Doctrine long ago if she could ?| have been sure of Britain's stand- " -"*% ing aside. That might very -3 likely have meant a German '-'.■$ invasion of America, and what ~i amount of moral insurance could ;1 have prevented the invade^Blit .:^j happened to suit them, iSIRig Boston another Louvain^ *'* President Wilson has proved J f e T^ ost supine Administrator 'Q the U.S. has ever had, and the American papers are not far >f wrong when they point out that '^Jj Americas name is disgraced >1 through looking qn, while -<3 Belgium was outraged. 'althougX -•*« America a tq'l2 -M Hague Tr-eatips. ■--^•» -•- -j^a

Souvenirs of Briti 3 h Soil gl MrHaeok, a Belgian refugee* *$& I™l T ld:~~ J hen the Belgia^li I r,Z !eave England to trytd-^fi hnd their homes, or to get newel S s ' .^ e7 man, woman andjji f™* th.c Union Jack and , filleM or the fields. This will be hungW Lpl? I' 6? place in- theirS rnp^ Ch!i drf^ s QMldr;e ln to H:« S r t ha n was so^e oi th^m