IMPRESSIONS AND REFLECTIONS.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 31 December 1912, Page 3

IMPRESSIONS AND REFLECTIONS.

By "Old Salt.'.

[Last week end we had a visit f 1 from "Old Salt," the well-known S journalist, and writer of short . stories. At our request he fur- T nished his impressions of his visit. € -Ed.] ni With a mind filled with plans and projects for assuring success ( to next year's Auckland Industrial. Mining and Agricultural ; Exhibition ; with a body tortured ' with the pains of sciatica, perhaps ® my mood, on leaving the train at Helensville last Friday, was not one of receptivity, such as should +, distinguish all good journalists. H My first impression was of dust,. •; all pervading and all embracing; my next was of smell, for the tide was out,1 and the " dull grey level beds of ooze " shrieked their com- . s plaint to an offended heaven. In some doubt as to whicji was the lesser of the two evils, I blessed n both impartially, comforted to some extent by a recollection of the schoolboy's definition of dust i as mud with the juice squeezed ■ out of it, since it established such a close relationship. The sugges-. i tion of juice served to remind me of the absence of intermediate re- -^ freshment rooms on the Kaipar'a line; so haltingly—the pains were very bad —I set off in search of solace for the inner man. A two g horse waggonette stood ready for , the journey to Parakai Hot Springs ; but I had had more than <j enough jolting "for one day, so de- j cided to leave that excursion for t< the morrow. , n Three years ago the then pro- £ prietor of the bus and of the hotel i: had assured me that he was think- f ing very seriously of installing a I motor bus service. Perhaps he a was not serious enough; for the t old vehicle remains, a very bad i; advertisement for the progressive- t ness of Helensville and Helens- T villians. Of course there may be *' obstacles in the way —there are c. plenty on the road as these poor old bones can testify —but the differerice between petrol and horse k feed seems to be so enormously q in favour of the former, that I cannot see the reason for the re- c tention of an animal that must be t fed, and fed well, whether it is at t work or in the stable. Truly they € do things slowly in Helensville, i and possibly the motor will yet i arrive; but should it prove as slow t in going as it has done in coming, i it would be wise for passengers i to' provide themselves with lunch- "< eon baskets. The spirit of the * maxim festina lente and petrol ( appears to be a queer blend of l spirits, but it is astonishing what ' may be accomplished by a whole- . hearted and earnest determination to stay in a rut. After a. ■ pleasant evening spent in renew- j "'ing old friendships and making new ones, I followed the good example of the inhabitants by going early to bed. Early to rise—although neither healthy, wealthy, nor,, I fear, very wise —I was astonished to find no bath available ; since a water famine was being experienced, and I was left to re- i concile the astounding fact that a .town with a drainage system almost completed, should be without any water supply other than that vouchsafed by a not always kind , Heaven. Certainly lam not a civil engineer, but as a frequently uncivil journalist, I want to predict that if the. destinies of Helensville be in the hands of the same people as install drainage before a water supply, when that problematical motor car arrives, it will be driven with the bonnet astern and the chassee in the bows. After various delays —the mixed train and the express sauntered in, locked together, about half-an -hour later than the latter was expected —I reached the Springs after an excrutiating journey, at the nice convenient time 6f a few minutes before noon. My charioteer informed me that the return journey would be made at three fifteen sharp (could 1 believe my ears ? Sharp !) to connect with a train which left about (that was more in the Helensville manner) twenty past or half past four. I four fifteen is schedule f irae; but time was made for -slaves and the good chaps of the Kaipara are free men, with everything except money. S My bath proved a delightful experience, and let me offer sufferers the benefit of my experience and a free precription. Do not take the advice tendered by Paul to Timothy; but take a lot —a thundering lot—of Schnapps diluted with the hot mineral water. Then sit in the bath and let the perspiration ooze out of you. A three shilling bottle of schnapps should be emptied at two sittings ; but if the patient have leisure to take a course of baths he should obtain-a quotation for the medicine in trade, lots. NudgerCuck- . sey is an obliging chap and always ready for a deal. I bought a line of very excellent hock from him and he presented me with a ' small sack of toheroas with which to keep my balance true. ' Now will any obliging reader please inform me why the approach to the bathung house

should be so long and so circuitous ? By all means leave the carriage drive and attend to the flower beds ; but for the sake of suffering humanity make a short and direct cut from the main road to the baths entrance. It is a thousand pities that the members of your Domain Board do not suffer from stiff backs instead of stiff necks. Other improvements I would suggest are the provision of tea and coffee, and of a few comfortably cushioned lounges upon which patients might cool off at their ease. The best of good forms is an offence to a sciatica subject. Another inexpensive addition in the shape of seats with hooked arms to catch the sides of the bath, would be much appreciated by the aged and infirm in particular. Hardley and Hardley, of Auckland, have these in a very cheap design which, however, is eminently satisfactory.

Punctually at three fifteen the cab was nowhere in sight. Ten minutes later it emerged from a cloud of dust. The driver assured me that he thought he would be going straight back, so I went up that awful drive with him —I had walked it twice, larding the lean earth each time. After arrival, my cheerful driver changed Tiis mind and thought he would wait. I decided not to, and after a third passage of the road of sighs, I was fortunate enough to secure a seat with friend Goad, who was going a-shopping. May I here be permitted a little digression ? At the first port of call I waited outside ; it was not necessary to hold the reins, the horse was tired, my driver took a round turn iound the whip socket, not to hold his steed in, but to hold him up. In the shop, friend Goad—a name like that should be a spur to the dilatory—had to ring a bell three times before the enterprising merchant arrived with the information that bananas were four pence a; pound (five pounds a shilling was.the Queen Street quotation, and less in the suburbs). A deal was effected and perhaps I have made a deal out of nothing ; but—! Has Helensville ever been referred to as Sleepy Hollow or as Struggletown ?

Now I fear 1 have exceeded my space limits, so in conclusion will merely urge that my readers will do everything in their power to facilitate the transfer of their very valuable and too little appreciated asset to the paternal care of the Government authorities. If the change result only in the establishment of regular, reliable and convenient means of access, the increased patronage with the result* ing advertisement by grateful patients will surely force the Hot Springs into the place they deserve in the public estimation, and so be the means of doing uncaiculable amount of good to Helensville and residents.

With the best of good wishes, Earewell ! Please accept too this expression of my hopes that the New Year will be fiilltid with prosperity for you all.