THE LADIES' COLUMN.

Kumara Times, Issue 1679, 15 February 1882, Page 2

THE LADIES' COLUMN.

[AUCKLAND FREE LANCE.] There is something mysterious about the following announcement, which is extracted from a Chicago paper ; " Gertie Hamilton took a small dose of morphine at Sioux City, not because she wished to die, but in order to touch the heart of the man she loved. On recovering she learned that she had swallowed poison in earnest and was dead."

" Mary," said fcbe master of the house, when be. got out into the passage, after gnawing a bit off the loaf, and drinking all the milk in the jug, " breakfast is so Jate now, I never get tk»a ta have any, Cau't you get ifc

earlier ?" " No, sir ; it's missus's oiders. The captain—the new lodger that came last Friday week—don't get up till 10, 30 he and misdiis has it togetker. But I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll tell missus the 5 captain wants it earlier. She'll do anything for him; bless you !" « Oh; she" will," will she]" said tlie landlord, and he walked slowly to the tram rubbing his chin reflectively. . . . There was an auction sale two days later, End how there is a chance fdr a quiet and musical family having no other boarders; who will tiike in a military man of agreeable manners upon reasonable terms. We heard a good story told of si rustic youth and country girl; who sat facing e'acli other at the supper-taMe of a husky parry. The youth, srHitteii with the charms of the beautiful maid, only vented his passion in sly looks; and now and then, touching Hatty's tdd with his foot under the table. At that time, there being no Bloomers, the' girl, either feaifnl of the p'urity of her stockings, or determined to h'iake the" youth express what he appeared so warmly to feel, bore with his advances a little while in silence, and then cried out, " Look here, if you love* me, tell me so, but dcfn't dirty my stockings." It is ssid that love conquers all things; but a jumping toothache, that knowS its business and strictly attends to* it; can, for the time being, make a mart forget that he ever loved at all. An old bachelor, who particularly" hated literary women, asked an authored if she could throw any light on kissing. " I could"," said she, looking archly at him ) " but I think it's better in the" dark." A lover once wrote to a lady who' had rejected him, saying that he intended " to retire to some Secluded spot and breathe away his life in siglw," to* which the lady replied by inquiring whether they were to be medium dr large size. The man uas not since beert heard fiom. Train up' a 1 daughter in tlie' way she should go, and when she is grown up she will not depart by the way of the' back window to be married to a worthless adventurer. " Girls will be girls," says a contemporary. Oil, no, that's a mistake. If the gal.-,' wishes are consulted, they will be married women some day;