MISCELLANEA.

Kumara Times, Issue 1670, 4 February 1882, Page 2

MISCELLANEA.

First Fishwife : " I hear that poor old Martha Brown is dead, and that they are going to have a post-mortem examination on her." Second ditto; " Oh, they are, are fcliey ? Well, that's! a nice thing, I must say ] I'll take! care they never hold one on me—at least not while I'm alive." There is an awful state of affairs in a little Michigan town where a typesetter substituted the word "widows" for "windows." The editor wrote, "The windows of the church want washing badly. They are too dirty for any. use. and are a disgrace to our: village." An Irish ostler was sent to the stable to bring forth a traveller's horse. Not knowing which of the two strange hoises in the stable belonged to the' traveller, and wishing to avoid the appearance of ignorance in the business, he saddled both horses and brought them to the door. The traveller pointed out his own horse saying : " That's my nag." " Certainly, yer honor, I know that very well; but I didn't know which was the other'gentleman's." ' Kissing the baby may result in der forming its nose or bringing on nearsightedness. The safest plan is not to ki s a baby of the feminine persuasion until it attains'the age of sixteen years. The cartilage of the nose is stronger then. Quite a sensation was created in the Galveston's Recorder's Court by a no* torious colored chicken thief accusing his Honor, by implication at least, of being in with him in stealing chickens. The charge is not regarded as reliable bv the friends of the official. On Jim Webster being brought up, the Recorder asked him : " If you did not intend to steal those chickens, what was your motive in taking them?" "Judge, I has bpen up here before you so often that I has come to lub and respec' you, and foah God, Judge, I intended to make you a present of dat pair of pullets." " I don't believe anything of the kind. Policeman, what did this man

say when lie was arrested V " Your Honor,' when I caught him he told me that he had a partner, hut T did not know tthti it \Vaa at the tirne." His Honor fined the policeman for con tern pi and had Jim Webster locked up for ninety daya.