MADAME WILMOT ON "COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE."

Kumara Times, Issue 1573, 12 October 1881, Page 2

MADAME WILMOT ON "COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE."

There was but a thin attendance at the Theatre Royal last evening to hear Madame Lotti Wilmot's discourse on the sui ject of ■". Courtship and Matrimony." This was in great measure, no doubt, owing to the inclemency of the weather, which prevented the majority of those who live at a distance and who generally form the major portion of a Kumara audience, from attending. Shortly after the appointed hour, Madame Wilmot (who is a tall and well-proportioned woman, with Grecian physique and somewhat masculine) came upon the stage, at.d without any ceremony, at once announced the subject of her lecture, "Courtship and MarriHge." She began by stating that a rigl.b or wrong choke in marriage laid t<*e foundation of our future happiness in this world, and possibly in the world to come. The lectumss stated that she would deal with " the lords" first, lest any of them should get up and

walk out before she had an opportunity of making known to them her mind plainly. She would tell them when to court, whom to court, and how to court. They ought not to begin to court until they were in a position to marry and support a wife, and there should be no shiliy-shallying in the matter. She animadverted on the folly of boys in their teens wasting their own and girls' time in many years of " spooneying," as it is frequently not inappropriately termed, when they might be better employed in preparing themselves for the exigencies of life. On the other hand, girls and their mothers should not allow this waste of their time. It was absurd to allow of the attentions of a youth who coald not possibly be prepared to marry for several years. She considered all men ought to be prepared to marry at the age of 25, and young women at 20. ! She would impose (and she has spoken j to several members of Parliament on the matter) a £lO tax on all bachelors over 25 years of age. Some would pay it in a spirit of bravado the first year ; but afterwards frequeut calls for the instalments would bring thera to, and they would not then have to seud Home tens ot thousands of pounds annually.for. the purposes of immigration. Had this course been adopted years ago, there would have been no necessity in sending for people to populate the colony. It was well known that moat of this money was absorbed by the emigration agents, who sent out the most useless people. The lectnress then dilated upon what may be considei ed the most interesting part of the three divisions—whom to marry. Her advice to young men is not to marry j young ladies who are not useful aids to their mother in domestic affairs. Select one who is clean, tidy, her hair nicely done up; her dress tidy, and buttons not wanting; you can know as much by a call between seven and ten o'clock in the morning, as yon need to know. Bachelors were warned against ladies who neglected the finger-tips of their gloves or nnils; against those who were afraid of being found in the kitchen ; against untidy skirts, neglected teeth, and the careless exterior appearance which betokens the slattern, for the latter would never improve by marriage, but rather the reverse. She should be fairly educated, ami well up iu the pence-table. Persons should marry at the same age; if the man were a few years older, it did not matter so much. But never marry for I money ; these were the worst kind of i marriages. The lectnress here related the case of a young and handsome man of 25 who married a wealthy lady of 55 in the hope that by the life he intended to lead her she would die in the course of a couple of years. But the I lady, who was ugly and almost bedridden, took a new lease of life ; marI riage had improved her health and | appearance and she lived so loug that by the Lime he got her under the turf, he was so old and wrinkled from the life of chagrin aud disappointment that no young lady would look at him, and five years afterwards he himself was carried to his grave. See, said the lectnress, what the mother is like, for what she is, so will the daughter be—take care that the apple do not turn out a crab. Madame Wilmot considered that opposite physiques, characteristics, and dispositions were conducive to the happiness of married life ; and, in fact, that men should look out for just those qualities and dispositions in their partners for life which they did not themselves possess. As regarded the men who were to be accepted, much that the lectnress had delineated in reference to the qualifications of a good wife appliei also to a good husband. Women did not like bashful men ; and were advised never to marry a man with a bad temper, or a weak-minded man. A woman' should try to find out before acreptiivg a man whether he was testy and ill-tempered, and if bo, she should avoid hi ml Neither should '(she.tnaf'cy" a man who ypeaks lightly of women, or who did not revere the whole sex, and treat them with chival? rous defence. The lecturess was of opinion that the women of the colony were not treated with the amount of respect which was their doe, or with that-attention and reverence which was paid to their sex by Americans and continental people. Never should a woman marry a man to mend his morals, for she would not succeed. She related an amusing anecdote of the course a lady in New York adopted to cure her husband, who, otherwise an eligible young man, was addicted to drink. A month after marriage he was brought home dead drunk. The wife sent for the doctor, who told her it was only a slight attack of indisposition. The lady, professing to be in a state of extreme alarm, insisted on having her husband's head shaved, and blisteis applied to his back, chest and feet. When the drutiken miu came to,

his wife urged him not to speak, and told him he had been very ill. He denied the fact, but the lady insisted on if, and with tears in her eyes, declared that if he were takeu with the s-ime fit again, she should apply the same extreme remedies, as she dreaded being left a young widow. Ais to the question of how to court, Madame; Wilmot said she did not approve of long courtship. A man may know ad much about a young lady in fifteen days as he would know in fifteen years of courtship. Lovers were always watchful aud guarded of each other, it was a sheer waste of time to spend six hours a day in each others' comJ pany j two hours were quite sufficient) If they wanted kisses they could get them after marriage, move of them and with less trouble. Those little chivalrous attentions and kindnesses bestbWed so freely during courtship should ndt be forgotten after marriage j these were the secrets of connubial happiness and enjoyment, and for which women were so grateful. Madame Wilmot concluded a very eh -quent address, which was received with frequent bursts oi applause and occasional laughter, byannouncing that she would 10-inorrow (that is, this Wednesday evening) deliver her lecture on " Melbourne by Day and Melbourne by sight." The audience might depend on knowing alt about life in Melbourne, as she had, under official protection, visited the worst of places in that thriving city, prepared to give theni a frill description of theim