THE IRISH HIGHWAYMAN.

Kumara Times, Issue 1505, 15 September 1881, Page 2

THE IRISH HIGHWAYMAN.

An Irishman, finding his cash at low ebb, resolved to adopt “ the road” as a professional means of refreshing the exchequer ; and, having provided himself with a large horse-pistol, proceeded forthwith to the conventional “ lonely common," and lay in wait. The no less conventional “ farmer, returning from the market with a bag of money," of course, soon appeared, to whom enter Pat with the regulation highwayman offer of choice, “ Your money or your life !” a remark fortified by the simultaneous exhibition of the fire-arm, iri the usual way. The farmer, Who was* a Quaker, essayed to temporise. “I would not have thee stain thy soul with sin, friend; and didst thou rob me of my gold, it would be theft, • and didst thou kill me, it would be murder. But hold ! A bargain is no sin, but a com- 1 merce between two honest men. I will give thee this hag of gold for the pistol which thoa boldest at my ear.” Thei unsuspecting amateur Macheath, yielding, perhaps, to the Quaker’s logic and solicitude for the spiritual welfare, made the exchange without a moment’s hesitation. “ Now, friend,” cried the wily Ephraim, leveling the weapon, “ give me back my gold or I’ll blow thy brains out!” “ Blaze away, thin, darlint!” said Pat. “ Sure, there’s niver a dhrop of powther in it.” The result was a sold Quaker.—Chambers’ Journal;