The Kumara Times. Published Every Evening. TUESDAY, MAY 4, 1880.

Kumara Times, Issue 1122, 4 May 1880, Page 2

The Kumara Times. Published Every Evening. TUESDAY, MAY 4, 1880.

The Railway Commissioners arrived about four o’clock yesterday afternoon by special coach from Hokitika, and after staying for an hour at the Empire Hotel, during which time they were interviewed by his Worship the Mayor and a committee appointed by the Borough Council, they again left by special tram for Greymouth. Of the commissioners it may be truly said—

True patriots these ; for, be it understood, They travel quickly for their country’s good.

A new and easy route via Whitcorabe’s Pass for the proposed line of railway between the Bast and West Coast was most opportunely reported to have been discovered just prior to the Railway Commissioners arriving in Hokitika by an intelligent surveyor, who also calculates that by this route a distance of “ thirtyfive miles ” would be saved as compared with any other. Not to be outdone in wonders, the people of this district also discovered that the connection of this toWn and Greyraouth by Railway was a work of the most easy description, and pointed out the gradients to convince the Commissioners of this fact, whereas the portion to Hokitika would be the most expensive in consequence of the steep gradients, which the Government engineers had declared impracticable. We wonder which of the two discoveries will receive the most attention at the hands of the express train commission. The balance-sheet of the Borough Council appears in another column for the year ending 31st March last; as also a statement of the assets and liabilities of the Borough on the date mentioned.

The ordinary fortnightly meeting of the Hospital Committee will be held at the Secretary’s office this evening. ' In consequence of , the Adelphi Hall being engaged by the Georgia Minstrels we are requested to state that there will be no parade of the local Rifles this evening. There was again a very good attendance at the Adelphi Theatre last evening, the dress circle being fairly patronised, and the audience, by their marked approbation of several items of the programme, plainly demonstrating that they appreciated the witticisms and doings of the Georgia Minstrels. There will be an entire change of programme this evening from the commencement to the end of the entertainment.

Attention is directed to a sale of a large number of freehold sections in this township which will be held by Mr F, A. Learmonth, in conjunction with Mark Sprott and Co., on Tuesday next. The land to be submitted to auction can be seen on

application to Mr W. Nicholson, of this town, who has an enlarged map showing the various sections and their situation.

A Wellington contemporary sayS This office was interviewed a few evenings ago by a strange phenomenon in the person of ft bank clerk. He hhd taken exception to a paragraph referring in mild language to the fortune of some people having connections in high places. He came to remonstrate, but, expecting that he might get kicked out, had gone to the trouble of donning his war paint, After expressing himself satisfied with the explanation given he opened his coat—there was a picture! He was stripped to the waist, and informed us in simpering language that had anyone attempted to kick him he would, at any rate, have taken his own part. The poor fellow was patted on the back and complimented on his courage, whereupon he became more communicative, and took off his coat just to show what fine amis he had, and how his muscles were developed. He got more compliments then, and he became generous and treated the whole office to “glasses round.” We would be glad to entertain such visitors every day of the week.

If it is all true that we (N. Z. Times) hear concerning the Civil Service Commission in the Middle Island their expenses will not be a very heavy item on the debit side of the colony’s account. It is said that the most rigorous economy has been practised. There was not the slightest approach to junkettingj no invitations to dinner to the numerous subjects operated upon, but simply interrogation, Careful taking of evidence, a polite “good day,’’ and then after labor frugal refteshment. A guinea a day each is, we' hear, to cover all the expenses of the members of the Commission, and if that is the limit, the members certainly cannot be accused of extravagance, whilst the colony will be justified in expecting a fair guinea’s worth for money expended. Speaking of the late election at Liverpool, a writer in the Coventry Standard says;—“l saw several curious scenes at the Liverpool election'. Here is One of them : A costernldngdr, who was anxious to make a figure Socially and politically, rode to the poll in his own donkey-cart The Liberel agent stationed outside the booth noticed with pleasure that the “moke” was gaily trimmed up for the occasion, and was decorated about his ears with Ramsay’s colours. Accordingly, when the coster emerged from the voting compartment, he asked him for “Ramsay’s card, if you please.” But to his surprise the owner of the donkey handed his ticket to Whitley’s man. The Liberal card-trick man at once pointed to the animal, and exclaimed, “ Why, he’s got our colours.” “ Ay, ay, my friend,” replied the coster, with a broad grin ; “ he’s an ass, but I’m a Conservative.”

During the battle of Shiloh, an officer rode furiously up to General Grant, and, touching his cap, thus addressed him : <£ Sheheral, Ivantsto make von report; Schwartz’s Battery is took.” “Ah!” said the General, “How was that?” “ Veil, you see, Sheneral, de Sheshenists came up in front of us, and de Sheshenists flanked us, and the Sheshenists came up in rear of us, and Schwartz’s Battery was took.” “Well, sir,” said the General, “ you of course spiked the guns?” “ Vat!” exclaimed the Dutchman, in astonishment, “ schpike dem new guns ! Ho; it it would stthpeil dem. ’* “Well,” said the General sharply, “what did you do ?” “Do 1 vy, we took them back again.”