A DISAPPOINTED JUROR.

Kumara Times, Issue 1043, 3 February 1880, Page 2

A DISAPPOINTED JUROR.

It was a flushed and somewhat excited citizen who presented himself: before one of those judges of this city who were carefully voted out last Wednesday, and remarked: —“ If it please your Honor, I have been drawn as a juror for the coming term of your Court, and I have come to be excused. It is impossible for me to sit.” “ Indeed,” said the judge, with some of that elephantine playfulness peculiar to the Sau Francisco bench. “ Haven’t a boil, have you?” “No sir, I haven’t,” replied the gentleman, getting still warmer; “ but I haven’t the time. I. am worn out with bnsiness, and want to go off. into the country and fish.” “ Fish, sir ? Do you mean to say that you would prefer to sit for hours at a stretch on a slippery log, getting your nose peeled by the sun, rather than uphold law atid order by the exercise of a freeman’s dearest prerogative?’ “ Yes, I would.” “You sadden me, now.” “ I don’t care if they ain’t. I know a place where they bite all the year round.” The Court carefully noteddown the spot for future Sunday reference, and then continued, “ I regret

- Vie necessity, my dear sir, but I cannot excuse you.” “Fm blusted if I serve,” shouted the victim, desperately. “ Besides, lemme see, 1 had the small-pox Recently, and Fm afraid I ain’t' quite cured.” “ Have you the leprosy?” inquired bis Honor, blandly lighting another-, cigar. “Of course not.” “There’s. nonuse talking. Small-pox don’t go. Nothing but leprosy will do—these times.” “ You insist on my serving, do yon %’ said the citizen, looking very pale and determined. “ Very well; now listen to me. I swear I won’t, convict a single criminal—not one. Fll bang the jury or acquit every prisoner you try. Then when the country is flooded with burglars and murderers it will be your own fault’” “ My dear sir,” said his Honor, springing up and grasping the speaker’s hand With emotion. “If you are-on the acquit you’re: just the man I’ve been looking for. The- relatives of two or three prisoners have been to see- me, and—well—ahem I —you understand— I go out of office pretty -soon—and—of course we must make hay while the sun shines, as it were. Now, suppose you come up and dine with me to-night, and perhaps we can make some little mutual arrangement. See the point, don’t you—eh I—coin, my dear sir, coin.” But the obstinate man went off in a rage to buy a revolver; and the Judge has since instructed the bailiff to have him on hand when the Court meets, alive or dead. Some people have no sabe about a speculation at all, it would seem.—San Francisco Weekly •Post.