THE THOROUGHLY DOMESTICATED MAN.

Kumara Times, Issue 491, 24 April 1878, Page 2

THE THOROUGHLY DOMESTICATED MAN.

An Original Sketch,

In our neighbourhood, about Dillman s lives Pete Erries. He is what is called in the lingo of the aesthetic reviewers a “ thoroughly domesticated man”. The way he keeps that fence of his, and works that garden is a caution to goats and Chinamen. ’ All last summer lie held out against the attacks of the torjner in a manner that would have done honour to Osman Pasha, and disheartened the conqueror of Plevna himselt. If the man who makes two blades of grass grow where only one grew before benefits humanity, then, verily, Pete must be a hero of heroes, for’ he has made a green and has it carpeted with grass and clover where lately even a grasshopper with the most faithfully plodding industry would have found his hop fail him, and been oblige 1 to fall back on the charity .of a ticket for the soup kitchen. The internal arrangements of his domicile are on a par j what he has got to do ho does it at once, and in the best possible manner suited to the moans at his command. The instincts of a “ domesticated man” lead him to this. Lately he thought he could add to hia water supply, and accordingly brought home from his drapers a cheap water tank, in the shape of a zinc lined packing box. Now it happened that on trying his tank with a bucket of water he found it perforated with t ick holes, and villdn- i ous lo iking cracks at every corner. ' Here there was a jo'» for him ; but instantly he remembered that uncle Ike the last time he had the loan of the soldering bolt, by awkward handling (for Ik-> is shiftless) bad Jroppe I solder into his bo >ts, burned his fingers, and finallv had thrown, i.be ho't as far ns be con Id into tile nisli. So lit* to < lis: these hole*, so that ho would have no bother over them afterwards, and save

his water besides. This make shift was a thing that he was not given to, and if he did condescend to it now it mast be, all things considered, what he might pronounce a “ slashing job.” A friend dilated to him on the water stopping ■ properties of a certain compound of hoars lard, resin <kc., which he designated "clamy hughie.” But “ clamy hughie” did not find favour in Pete’s eyes. Leather and tacks was the next panacea, but they too were in turn dismissed. Contrary to till all precedent in that establishment, the job stood over till next Saturday. The fact is he was troubled over it, and several times during the week the thought had even entered his mind that he would give, up . the idea of making a tank, take out the lining and keep rabbits in it. Little Pete was just come to ati age when he could chuck a rabbit about nicalv, and that with less danger of scratches than with a cat. But then Pete’p home .reputation was at stake. It had gone forth in that household that he. was making a tank. He must not loose • prestige iq. the eyes of his wife; and even the little boy had come to know that that box was intended for w.jiter. At this stage it occurred to him that he might find a way out of the difficulty when Sir John Goode came np to report ou navigation of the Teremakau. Not that hr even thought of. consulting Sir John on the . subject (the pro i»ta. arrangement came l»efcween hira asid that) but as he was bn some of the committees, he might be able during the * great man’s visit to pick up a few wrinkles in hydrostatics*. Such . was the position of affairs on the., following Saturday as. Pete .Was making hiu way to town, pnting down his feet with the air of who had done V week’s work, had things shipshape at ' home, and was perfectly satisfied With liinself. But as the reader knbws, this was not the,case. He was ill at tank, and was beginning |p loose faith in himself. Just to counteract ‘ this feeling a little with a look at ike’s place, whom in his heart he pitied, he stepped in as He was passing.- The first thing his eye caught was a tank similar to his own, standing onskids At the cornier of the dwelling, aud'frtll to overflowing j Ike in the door way whistling away kis time as usual. Pete made for tHe tahk* looked into it, around it, r ppked Jl, and then remarked:— ■ - • . ' • “ I see you’ve got a tank.” "Yes” • ~ “ Didn’t it run out?” • i “ They all do so more or less, that one was awful bad!” , , ; V " Well, how did y6u stop itf,’ " With a bit of cheese 1” ' ' - i~. The subject dropped then, but i speaks of Ike with' more respect than he did before. ’• *