LIFE ON A TROOPSHIP.

King Country Chronicle, Volume IX, Issue 738, 20 January 1915, Page 6

LIFE ON A TROOPSHIP.

OUR DEPUTY PADRE.

By L. Bartrop,

Either George Bernard Shaw or Gilbert K. Chesterton has given his opinion that all character sketches should be of an autobiographical nature. And, indeed, it seems perfectly natural that one's self is far better equipped to write of good qualities than another who might bo easily onder-estiinate or evrn overlook surm'thing very precious in one's composition, and might oven uncover some horrid Bkeleton which had never been permitted to obtrude itself sufficiently to obtain our recognition. If a liberty hnß been take.! in planting j in unsuspecting mindß sentiments the | abovo litterateurs have not so for expressed, the publicity these unassuming ones hnvo received wilMbo sufficient apology. Our Deputy Padre, however, has declined to fall in with them, and has flatly refused to present his soul bared for our edification: so M it has been explained to him ho " must receive enlightenment from a mind defined to meet the delicacy of the situation. His intended profession previous to becoming a member of the Expeditionary Force was undoubtedly that; of the Church, but, being not sufficiently feathered in learning to bo eligible us a chaplain, he was perforce obliged to enlist in the next noble branch, that of physical healing. Now, the training of a soldier in any branch of service is decidedly of what one might term a Catholic na'ure, embracing, as it does, operations as wide as the poles. Our particular subject may be found this morning attending a lecture, explained by diagrams of the man interior which would make his afternoon self blush as it peels the humble potato. Or, again, his evening will discover him very grimy from wheeling a largo coal basket along the deck and dodging various obstacles such as ventilators, and navigating his trolly twixt straight and narrow in the way of hurso boxes. Theße same boxes are so close that the attention he is compelled to give to his job provides the opportunity for horses suffering from voyagecreatid ill-temper to lake a trip from our busy toiler in the coal-yard. Although the Scriptures advise us that no credit is attached to any man's legs, however comely, nevertheless it must be explained that the coalbasket is no great hurdle for ou good man to overcome, for nature clearly betokened his career by bestowing on him calves that would be wasted in anything else but gaiters. His really busiest day is at the onion tub, and here he shines. In the morning he will bo found in tho centre of a mixture of men and boxes of sprouting onions: tho evening finds tubs of nice cleaned onionß floating in water and all innocent of the shells and sprouts of the morning. His all-em-bracing duties include such offices as washing up the dishes after meals, swabbing down decks, acting as military policeman, and tending the sick - with a thoroughness that makes the plain soldier man describe him, in Bpite of hia name being a doublebarrelled one, as a "real good bloke." His duties as parson only fall on him when (ho captain parson ifl hors do combat. On these occasions, holding no commission as a parson, he dons not tho chaplain's uniform, but that of the ordinary cleric, and "in conclusion" falls very soon after fiistly." "Nevertheless, he succeedß in conveying something that is charitable towards our limitations, and by means of the line way in which he carries out his six-dayß' duties convinces us that what he does on the seventh has a reality which is worth more than a moment's thought. Sermon over, he has warned ub against any doubt offence, namely, unnecessary swearing, and, on the other hand, the error of falling into being wowsars, ha hastily changes the cassock for tho dungarees and gets back to his unions, but does not with any change of dress divest himself of an innate leadership that one day some parish will bo the better for.